Ray's musings and humor

Life

Ray’s Daily

May 27, 2921

http://rays-daily.com

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

Maya Angelou

Ray’s Daily first published on May 27, 2004

I, like many others, have been distressed by the things that are happening around us. War, rising prices, medical costs, terrorism, governmental fiscal mismanagement, political polarization and partisanship, these are all burdens we share. What is even more bothersome is the fact that these are legacies we will leave for our children and our grandchildren if everything continues as it is today. It becomes even worse if we let it all get to us and we become part of the problem. My  friend Jen offers the following advice on how to treat ourselves, I would suggest that the golden rule would tells this is how we should treat others as well..

Stop All Criticism – Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

Don’t Scare Yourself – Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It’s a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

Be Gentle And Kind And Patient – Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

Be Kind To Your Mind – Self hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

Praise Yourself – Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

Support Yourself – Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

Be Loving To Your Negatives – Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now, you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So, lovingly release the old negative patterns.

Take Care Of Your Body – Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

Mirror Work – Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say: “I love you, I really love you.”

Love Yourself .. Do It Now – Don’t wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. Begin now — and do the best you can.

~~~

“If you cannot find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else.”

Marvin Gaye

~~~

I don’t know if I’ll ever get it right!
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you’re a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you’re a pansy.
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it’s sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it’s male indifference.
If you thump her, it’s wife bashing.
If she thumps you, it’s self-defense.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you’re a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated     woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy, that’s domination.
If she asks you, it’s a favor.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you’re sexist.  If you don’t, you’re unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you’re vain.
If you don’t, you’re a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you’re after something.
If you don’t, you’re not thoughtful.
If you’re proud of your achievements, you’re up on yourself.
If you don’t, you’re not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she’s tired.
If you have a headache, you don’t love her anymore.
NO WONDER WOMEN OUTLAST MEN …

~~~

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
~~~

A message from the rural Midwest: Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when Easterners and Californians cross states such as Illinois, Ohio, Indiana, Wisconsin, Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, Michigan, Missouri, Minnesota, North Dakota, and South Dakota, those states’ Tourism Councils have adopted a set of information guidelines. In an effort to help outsiders understand the Midwest, the following list will be handed to each driver entering the state:

1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
2. It’s called a ‘gravel road’,  No matter how slow you drive, you’re going to get dust on your car.
3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Any references to “corn fed” when talking about our women will get you whipped… by our women.
5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don’t cry to us if a flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little trout you fish for…bait.

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it! You might hope you don’t have it up to your ear at the time.

8. That’s right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink.
9. No, there’s no “Vegetarian Special” on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef’s Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.
11. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends. We’re real impressed. We have a quarter of a million dollar combine that we use two weeks a year.

12. Let’s get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it’s red. We may even stop when it’s yellow.
13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks–because they want to . So, you’re a feminist. Isn’t that cute.
14. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too–and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It’s available at the bait shop.
15. They are pigs. That’s what they smell like. Get over it. Don’t like it? Interstates 70, 80, & 90 go two ways—Interstates 29, 35, & 69 go the other two. Pick one and use it accordingly.

16. The “Opener” refers to the first day of deer season. It’s a religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.
17. So every person in every pickup waves. It’s called being friendly. Understand the concept?
18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Just don’t hit in the water hazard. It spooks our fish.
19. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot…his name is “Sir”…no matter how old he is.

Now, enjoy your visit!

~~~

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

Woody Allen

~~~

Phil and Jill had been married for many years but now were in divorce court. The judge asked, “Phil, is it true that the last three years of your marriage, you did not speak to Jill?”

Phil replies, “Yes Judge, that is correct.”
“And how do you explain this unusual conduct?” the judge inquires.
Phil replies, “I didn’t want to interrupt her, Your Honor.  Momma always said that’s impolite!”

~~~

A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.
The Wizard to the Tin Man
~~~

A farmer and his hired man were eating breakfast at a local diner. Thinking of all the work they had to get done that day, and that stopping for meals wasted time, the farmer told the hired hand that he might as well go ahead and eat his dinner here, too. The hired man didn’t say a word, but gladly filled his plate a second time and proceeded to eat. After awhile, the farmer said, “You know, we’ve got so much work to do today, you might as well eat your supper now, too.” Again, the hired man didn’t respond, but refilled his plate a third time and continued eating. Finally, after finishing his third plate of food, the hired man pushed back his chair and began to take off his shoes. “Hey, what are doing?” the farmer asked. The hired man replied, “I don’t work after supper.”

~~~

If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.
Phyllis Diller
~~~

You may have heard the old joke about Shirley, the Jewish mother in NYC, who brought her 6 year old boy to the psychoanalyst, who diagnosed: “Nothing much wrong with your son, just a slight Oedipus complex.

Said Shirley the mom… “Oedipus, schmedipus, the important thing is that he loves his mother”

~~~

“The people who influence us the most are not those who detain us with their continual talk, but those who live their lives like the stars of the sky and ‘the lilies of the field’ — simply and unaffectedly.  Those are the lives that mold and shape us.”

Oswald Chambers

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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