The first condition of happiness is a clear conscience.
David O. McKay
I have often said that this is as good as I get. That does not mean that I do not need to be as responsible to do the best I can. I know perfection is impossible but working to behaving as honarably as we can is something we all can do.
Our reward for positive behavior is in the personal appreciation of the person we have become. A trouble free conscience is is one of life’s greates rewards.
Accepting responsibility has its rewards
Forty-three years seems like a long time to remember the name of a mere acquaintance. I have duly forgotten the name of an old lady who was a customer on my paper run when I was a twelve-year-old boy. Yet it seems like just yesterday that she taught me a lesson in forgiveness that I can only hope to pass on to someone else someday.
On a mindless Saturday afternoon, a friend and I were throwing rocks onto the roof of the old lady’s house from a secluded spot in her backyard. The object of our play was to observe how the rocks changed to missiles as they rolled to the roof edge and shot out into the yard like comets falling from the sky.
I found myself a perfectly smooth rock and sent it for a ride. The stone was too smooth, however, so it slipped from my hand as I let it go and headed straight for a small window on the old lady’s back porch. At the sound of fractured glass, we took off from the old lady’s yard faster than any of our missiles flew off her roof. I was too scared about getting caught that first night to be concerned about the old lady with the broken porch window.
However, a few days later, when I was sure that I hadn’t been discovered, I started to feel guilty for her misfortune. She still greeted me with a smile each day when I gave her the paper, but I was no longer able to act comfortable in her presence. I made up my mind that I would save my paper delivery money, and in three weeks I had the seven dollars that I calculated would cover the cost of her window.
I put the money in an envelope with a note explaining that I was sorry for breaking her window and hoped that the seven dollars would cover the cost for repairing it. I waited until it was dark, snuck up to the old lady’s house, and put the envelope of retribution through the letter slot in her door. My soul felt redeemed and I couldn’t wait for the freedom of, once again, looking straight into the old lady’s eyes.
The next day, I handed the old lady her paper and was able to return the warm smile that I was receiving from her. She thanked me for the paper and said, ‘Here, I have something for you.’
It was a bag of cookies. I thanked her and proceeded to eat the cookies as I continued my paper run. After several cookies, I felt an envelope and pulled it out of the bag.
When I opened the envelope, I was stunned. Inside were the seven dollars and a short note that said, ‘I’m proud of you’.
I believe that we cannot live better than in seeking to become better, nor more agreeably than having a clear conscience.
A friend and his co-worker were talking over a brown-bag lunch.
Said one, “My wife and I hardly ever see each other. She works the night shift and I work the day shift. All we can do is pass each other in the hall.”
His co-worker said, “Well, you have five children. How did you manage that?”
Said the first chap, “Loooooooooong hall.”
Research shows the first five minutes of life can be the most risky. Somehow I think that the last five minutes aren’t so hot either.
PRAYERS AROUND THE ZODIAC
ARIES: Dear God, please give me patience … and could you do it right now?
TAURUS: Dear God, help me accept change, but let’s do it my way.
GEMINI: Dear God! Who is God? Where is God? Why is God?
CANCER: Dear God!!!
LEO: Yes? Hello God…are you listening to me?
VIRGO: Dear God, please make us perfect and don’t mess it up like you did the last time.
LIBRA: Dear God, please help me to be decisive, but on the other hand, what do you think is best?
SCORPIO: Our Father, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, even though the low-life scum don’t deserve it!
SAGITTARIUS: Dear Lord, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times, help me stop exaggerating.
CAPRICORN: Dear God! I’d like to ask you to help me, but I learned a long time ago not to rely on anyone else!
AQUARIUS: Dear God, I know I like change, but this chaos is ridiculous!!
PISCES: Dear Lord, as long as I’m going to drink this fifth of Scotch tonight, please use the stimulation for Thy glory.
There is a difference between happiness and wisdom: He that thinks himself the happiest man really is so; but he that thinks himself the wisest is generally the greatest fool.
Charles Caleb Colton
Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old……..as long as she buys him a few drinks first.
My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat ’til the wrinkles fill out.
I’ve still got it, but nobody wants to see it.
I’m getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.
It’s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
I think I’ve reached my sexpiration date.
People our age can still enjoy an active passionate sex life! Provided we get that cable or dish thing.
The good news is, that even as we get older, guys still look at our boobs. The bad news is, they have to squat down first.
These days, about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, “For fast relief”.
I’ve tried to find a suitable exercise video for women my age, but they haven’t made one called “Buns of Putty”.
Don’t think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.
Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.
Remember: you don’t stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.
Minds are like parachutes, they only function when open.
Late one Friday night, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone…In a sleepy grumpy voice I said, “Hello.”
The party on the other end of the line paused for a moment before rushing breathlessly into a lengthy speech.
“OK… Mom, this is Marsha and I’m sorry I woke you up, but I had to call because I’m going to be a little late getting home. See, Daddy’s car has a flat but it’s not my fault. Really! I don’t know what happened. The tire just went flat while John and I were inside the theater. Please don’t be mad, okay?”
Since I don’t have any daughters, I knew the person had misdialed. “I’m sorry dear, “I replied, “but you’ve reached the wrong number. I don’t have a daughter named Marsha.”
“Come on, Mom,” pleaded the young woman’s voice, “I didn’t think you’d be this mad.”
“If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.”
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
“I had the toughest time of my life. First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis. Then they gave me hypodermics. Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis. I completely lost my memory for a while. I know I had diabetes and acute ingestion, besides gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis. I don’t know how I pulled through it. It was the hardest spelling test I’ve ever had.”
Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.
A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, “You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.”
The cats says, “Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had to sleep on hardwood floors.”
God says, “Say no more.” And instantly, a fluffy pillow appears.
A few days later, 6 mice are killed in a tragic accident and they go to Heaven. God meets them at the gate with the same offer that He made the cat. The mice said, “All our lives we’ve had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we wouldn’t have to run anymore.”
God says, “Say no more.” And instantly, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful pair of tiny roller skates.
About a week later, God decides to check and see how the cat is doing. The cat is sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently wakes him and asks, “How are you doing? Are you happy here?”
The cat yawns and stretches and says, “Oh, I’ve never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you’ve been sending over are the best!”
Self-respect and a clear conscience are powerful components of integrity and are the basis for enriching your relationships with others.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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