April 15, 2021
“Sameness is the mother of disgust, variety the cure”
I have a busy day so we again will visit yesteryear’
Ray’s Daily first publisjed on April 15, 2008
Have you had the feeling that everything is becoming the same these days? All the Mc Donald’s serve the same food in the same setting, Starbucks is starting to feel like they are all the same, restaurants have the same chicken fingers and garden salad, and the theatre popcorn is the same wherever you get it. The stores have the same stuff, the super markets feel close to the same, you see the same fast food restaurants and the same theme restaurants and on and on and on.
Oh I know that it really isn’t totally that bad but to me it just seems like it is. One of my favorite breakfast places got so fashionable that they opened clones, got rid of the mismatched tables and chairs, now all the coffee mugs are the same and for me the character of the place is gone. Some of my favorite memories over the years were a neighborhood restaurant in Greenwich Village, New York, a greasy spoon in Upstate New York, a tiny one grill restaurant in Flagstaff, Arizona, the roadhouse in Texas with the E out in their beer sign, a Pizza place in Chicago and many more places that were filled with real people eating real food. We also had neighborhood taverns where people would go for a few hours to get together and solve the world’s problems. We had meat markets, green grocers and Jewish delis; hot dog stands on the street corners, ice cream sellers in trucks and on tricycles. In other words we had a world that was enriched by its differences rather than diluted by its sameness.
I miss the people we met in those places and I miss the variety that we discovered as we wandered. I think I know the answer, let’s start the Society to Stamp out Standards! Let’s promise ourselves we will try to visit a mom and pop restaurant, specialty food shop, neighborhood pub, or a hot dog stand at least two times a month. I am pretty sure there is a real world out there behind all the shiny chains and franchises, all we have to do is look. In my experience variety and adventure won’t come to us, we have to venture out to find it and when we do we discover there is still some magic for us in our world.
“Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.”
Henry Van Dyke
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”
The second old guy says, “That’s OK, It’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.”
The first old guy says, “Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?”
The second old guy says, “Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big busted, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?”
To which the first old guy says, “Doesn’t matter, — let’s look for yours.”
I’ve always wanted to spend money lavishly, but I certainly never thought it would be on gasoline, sugar, milk, bread, and mayonnaise
He said: I am a deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security. As part of my job, I explain court procedures to visitors. One day I was showing a group of ninth-graders around. Court was in recess and only the clerk and a young man in custody wearing handcuffs were in the courtroom.
“This is where the judge sits,” I began, pointing to the bench. “The lawyers sit at these tables. The court clerk sits over there. The court recorder, or stenographer, sits over here. Near the judge is the witness stand and over there is where the jury sits.
“As you can see,” I finished, “there are a lot of people involved in making this system work.”
At that point, the prisoner raised his cuffed hands and said, “Yeah, but I’m the one who makes it all happen.”
Three frogs walked into a bar, the fourth frog ducked.
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. “This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter,” said one.
“No! He agreed to marry MY daughter,” said the other.
And so they argued before the King until he called for silence.
“Bring me my biggest sword,” said Solomon, “and I shall cut the young attorney in half. Each of you shall receive a half.”
“Sounds good to me,” said the first lady.
But the other woman said, “Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman’s daughter marry him.”
The wise king did not hesitate a moment. “The attorney must marry the first lady’s daughter,” he proclaimed.
“But she was willing to cut him in two!” exclaimed the king’s advisor.
“Indeed,” said wise King Solomon. “That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law.”
“There are souls in this world which have the gift of finding joy everywhere and of leaving it behind them when they go.”
Frederick William Faber
These two couples play golf together regularly at their club, and on the sixth hole, a par four, the second shot to the green must carry 80 yards over water.
One of the women, Mrs. Smith, for over a year, could never carry the water, and would always hit into it, totally psyched out by the presence of the water.
Her friend in the group suggested that she might want to see a hypnotherapist to overcome her anxiety near the water. So the woman went to a hypnotherapist for four sessions. In those sessions, the woman was hypnotized and the therapist would “plant suggestions” that when playing the second shot on the sixth hole, she would not see water, but rather a plush green fairway leading all the way up to the green.
About six months later, a woman at the club asked whatever happened to Mrs. Smith, that she hadn’t seen her playing golf at the club for almost four months now.
She was informed that five months earlier, Mrs. Smith had *drowned* at the first leg of the sixth hole!!
If you cannot hear a pin drop, you are a lousy bowler.
A child asks his mother, “Do all fairy tales begin with, ‘Once upon a time?’ “
His mother answers, “No, dear. Once in a while they begin with ‘I’ll be working late at the office tonight.'”
“Does Daddy tell you fairy tales like that ?”
“He used to.”
“What made him stop ?”
“One day he told me he’d be working late, and I said, ‘Can I depend on that ?'”
Success, for some people, depends on becoming well known; for others, it depends on never being found out.
An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife’s birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed,
“Your loving husband.”
His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until next year, on their anniversary, when he came home, kissed his wife and said off-handedly, “Nice flowers, honey. Where’d you get them?”
“Blessed is the one who has learned
to admire but not envy,
to follow but not imitate,
to praise but not flatter,
and to lead but not manipulate.”
William Arthur Ward
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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