April 8, 2021
“Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.”
Ray’s Daily first published on April 8, 2002
Life is about whom you love and whom you hurt.
It’s about whom you make happy or unhappy purposefully.
It’s about keeping or betraying trust.
It’s about friendship, used as a sanctity or a weapon.
It’s about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening.
It’s about starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip.
It’s about what judgments you pass and why. And who your judgments are spread to.
It’s about whom you’ve ignored with full control and intention. It’s about jealousy, fear, ignorance, and revenge.
It’s about carrying inner hate and love, letting it grow, and spreading it.
But most of all, it’s about using your life to touch or poison other people’s hearts in such a way that could have never occurred alone.
Only you choose the way those hearts are affected,
And those choices are what life’s all about.
A person’s true character is revealed by what he does when no one is watching.
About a month from now I will be in London, I have been preparing. For example here are some signs found in England:
In a cemetery:
Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.
In a Laundromat:
Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
In a London department store:
Bargain Basement Upstairs
In an office:
Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.
In another office:
After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
On a church door:
This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.)
Outside a second hand shop:
We exchange anything—bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
Quicksand…any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.
Notice in a dry cleaner’s window:
Anyone leaving his or her garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
In a health food shop window:
Closed due to illness.
Spotted in a safari park:
Elephants Please Stay in Your Car.
Seen during a conference:
For anyone who has children and does not know it, there is a day care on the first floor.
Notice in a field:
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries.
Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling. But I don’t have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.
Another road sign from our past:
DON’T STICK YOUR HEAD
OUT THE WINDOW TOO FAR
IT MAY GO HOME
IN AN OTHER CAR
A man was bragging to his friends about how his sister disguised herself as a man and was able to join the army.
“But, wait a minute,” said one listener, “She’ll have to dress with the boys and shower with them too. Won’t she?”
“Sure,” replied the man.
“Well, won’t they find out?!”
The man shrugged, “Yes…but who’ll tell??”
I know God won’t give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.
ALIEN: What Mom would suspect had invaded her house if she spotted a child-sized creature cleaning up after itself.
BABY: 1) Dad, when he gets a cold. 2) Mom’s youngest child, even if he’s 42.
BATHROOM: a room used by the entire family, believed by all (except Mom) to be self-cleaning.
BED AND BREAKFAST: Two things the kids will never make for themselves.
CAR POOL: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest, with the biggest bunch of kids, who have had the most sugar.
ENERGY: Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something.
“EXCUSE ME”: One of Mom’s favorite phrases, reportedly used in past times by children.
FABLE: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.
HANDI-WIPES: Pants, shirt-sleeves, drapes, etc.
“I SAID SO”: Reason enough, according to Mom.
JUNK: Dad’s stuff.
MAKEUP: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush, etc. which ironically make Mom look better while making her young daughter look “cheap.”
REFRIGERATOR: Combination art gallery and air- conditioner for the kitchen.
SNOWSUITS: Warm, padded outer garments that, when completely zipped and snapped performs two important functions: Protecting children from the cold and reminding them that they have to go to the bathroom.
SOAP: A cleaning agent Mom puts on the sink on the off-chance one of her kids will accidentally grab it while reaching for the towel.
It was the wise custom at the retirement home to pair the old couples, and then send them out for dinner and a movie, or other entertainment. This one night, John who was 84, was paired with Jill who was 86.
A few hours later, Jill returned to the Home and was she angry!
“What happened that you should be so upset, Jill?”, the attendant asked her.
“Coming back with that silly old man John, I had to slap him three times while we were riding back in the cab.”
“Oh that’s terrible…and at his age too. John ought to be ashamed of himself, making passes at you.”
“Passes???”, Jill said, “he didn’t make passes. I had to slap him three times to see if he was asleep or dead.”
“The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put youin that position.”
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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