Ray's musings and humor

How Are You Doing?

Ray’s Daily

April 2, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

Our attitude toward life determines life’s attitude towards us.

John N. Mitchell

How are you doing these days? I hope you are not letting these trying times get you down. I know it is not always easy to stay upbeat but maintaining a positive attitube can make the difference between happiness and sorrow.

In my world folks with a positive attitude brighten my day. Their ability to enjoy life is infectious and I appreciate them.

I think Swindoll was right on when he wrote the following:

Attitude on Life

The longer I live, the more I realise the impact of attitude on life.

It is more important than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than whatever anyone might say or do.

It is more important than appearances, giftedness or skill.

The remarkable thing is that we have the choice to create the attitude we have for that day.

We cannot change our past. We cannot change the way people act. We cannot change the inevitable.

The one thing we can change is the only thing we have control over, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what actually happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Charles Swindoll

~~~

Laws of Life

Murphy’s First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

Kauffman’s Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

Miller’s Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you’ll want to be doing something else.

Weiner’s Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.

Isaac’s Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

Lampner’s Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

~~~

A wise man once said, “If you want to watch the world passing you by, just try driving the speed limit.”

Lawrence Brotherton

~~~

As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the copilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system.

“Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona.

“It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons, struck the earth at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction.

“The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep.”

From the cabin, a passenger was heard to exclaim, “Wow! It just missed the highway!”

~~~

Sometimes being in the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.

~~~

Ten Signs You Have Nothing To Do At Work

10. You have developed Repetitive Stress Disorder from playing Solitare.

9. You’ve actually figured out a way to get Gilligan off the island.

8. People only come to your office to borrow pencils from the ceiling.

7. In an effort to exercise your creative side you knit a computer cozy.

6. You create an on-going email dialog with your computer at home.

5. No longer content with merely photo-copying your butt, you now scan it and enhance it using Photoshop.

4. After months of taking frequent breaks, you now only require a single can of coke to belch the names of all seven dwarves.

3. You discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough produces images of Elvis.

2. The 18-hole 3 par mini-golf course in your office.

1. The 4th Division of Paper Clips has overrun the Push pin Infantry and General White-Out has called for a new skirmish.

~~~

Failure seldom stops you; what stops you is the fear of failure.

Jack Lemmon

~~~

This scene took place on a BA flight between Johannesburg, South Africa and London, England. A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air hostess.

“You obviously do not see it then?” she responded. “You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat.”

“Be calm please,” the hostess replied. “Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available.”

The hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later. “Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the Economy Class.

I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also no seat in the Business Class. All the same, we still have one place in the First Class.”

Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued. “It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the Economy Class to sit in the First Class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone sooooo disgusting.”

She turned to the black guy, and said, “Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in First Class.”

~~~

Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.

Mahatma Gandhi

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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