March 12, 2021
“Loneliness is about the scariest thing out there.”
Ray’s Daily first published on March 12, 2007
Boy did our last daily touch a lot of hearts. I have never had so many people respond, some in pain, some in joy, and some with wisdom to share. Here are but a few of their thoughts:
- “we all stay with someone even when we are unhappy because we are to afraid to leave what we know”
- “I was in a relationship for 6 years and during those six years I was happy for three of those years, but the last three years I was not. I was so afraid to leave because I really did not know what I was going to do. But now I am not in that relationship anymore and since the break up I have been happier, I met someone wonderful, and I feel like I am whole again.”
- “Yes, we often stay with someone because we are afraid to move on. It is the fear of the unknown and protecting our way of life…even if it is for our children or such.”
- “The way to find happiness is by loving yourself and being kind to yourself, knowing whom you are and what you have to offer so you can grow to be the best you can be by yourself. Only then are you able to give & receive love in return.”
- “I believe most relationships could be salvaged if a person worked on the things we miss and then it would be the you I miss.”
- “there are times that we might have no choice but to be in a sad relationship, times when there’s nothing we can do about it……when you’re young there’s nothing at all you can’t do if you have the determination, nothing you can’t get over if you learn to focus…and love yourself enough to want better…but as we age and our health starts to go sometimes we have no way out, sadly, but it’s very true….sometimes we just have to deal with the hand we’re dealt.”
- “I would have been married 16 yrs the year I left my ex-husband and instead of leaving when I should I have I went looking to jump into another relationship… and rarely ever does that ever work.”
- “We had nothing in common other then the children when they came…We had a working-relationship – nothing more. I have many times wondered why we didn`t leave each other sooner. I felt for many years so unhappy – it is not to blame my ex-husband, it had to be myself just as much.”
- “I was in an abusive marriage for far too long. Why? I wasn’t afraid of the unknown. Many people are, but I wasn’t. It was the feeling of failure. Failure I couldn’t make it work. Not ever realizing, that perhaps, just perhaps, I wasn’t the one who had the “problem” in the relationship.”
There were others that had much to say and wisdom to share. But you get the idea. Whether it is fear, family, duty, or lack of confidence too many seemed trapped in a room lacking joy. I think sometimes we spend too much time trying to find out who to blame when in truth there is no one to blame.
One of our readers asked me “how do you know when to let go, what inside tells you.”
My less than satisfactory answer was “I have been fortunate in my life to never have had to walk away from someone. However I, like others, have had people walk away to pursue other interests, jobs, etc. Dear friends that today only live in memory. I think the answer I would give to her question is one of moving on more than just letting go. It does us no good to dwell in an empty place and while we can save the memory we can not bring back that which is gone. And as far as what inside tells you when it is time to move on, I think it might be pain or sadness that lingers when someone else moves on. People do not have to leave physically to have left, often their departure is one of indifference.
My only hope is that you all find as much joy in the world as you can and that you don’t miss it only because you were too afraid or timid to look for it.
“Loving can cost a lot but not loving always costs more, and those who fear to love often find that want of love is an emptiness that robs the joy from life.”
While leading a tour of Kindergarten students through our hospital, I overheard a conversation between one little girl and an X-ray technician.
“Have you ever broken a bone”? he asked.
“Yes,” the girl replied.
“Did it hurt”?
“Really? Which bone did you break”?
“My sister’s arm.”
Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons.
Ruth Ann Schabacker
An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive.
For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.
As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it. The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.
On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, “Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?”
“I sure did,” responded the pessimist. “He can’t swim.”
Laughter is the brush that sweeps away the cobwebs of the heart.
She said: One evening I was driving my six-year-old daughter to her grandparents’ home for an overnight stay. It was late, there was little traffic and we were enjoying a peaceful ride. It was a far cry from the usual chaos surrounding us when I drive her to various activities during rush hour.
My daughter seemed deep in thought when she said, “I have a question.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Mom, when you’re driving,” she asked, “are you ever the idiot?”
A man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job. “Sorry, we don’t need anyone…” the manager at the office replied.
“You can’t afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone, anything, anytime!”
“Well, we have two prospects that no one has been able to sell. If you can sell just one, then you have a job.”
He was gone about two hours and when he returned, he handed them two checks, one for $25,000 and another for $50,000.
“How in the world did you do that?” the manager asked.
“I told you, I’m the world’s best salesman, I can sell anyone, anything, anytime!”
“Did you get a urine sample?” the manager asked him.
“What’s that?” he asked.
“Well, if you sell a policy over $20,000, the company requires a urine sample. Now take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples.”
He was gone about eight hours and the office was about to close, when in he walks with two five-gallon buckets, one in each hand. He put the buckets down, reached in his shirt pocket, took out two bottles of urine, set them on the desk and said, “Here’s Mr. Jones’ and this one is Mrs. Johnson’s.”
“That’s good,” the manager said, “but what’s in those two buckets?”
“Well, I passed by the school house and they were having a state teachers’ convention, so I stopped and sold them a group policy!”
“One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.”
Rita Mae Brown
Mary: I signed up for a refresher CPR course.
Shirley: Is it hard to learn?
Mary: Not at all. Basically you’re asked to breathe life into a dummy. I don’t expect to have any problem. I did that for 12 years.
Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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