Ray's musings and humor

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Ray’s Daily

February 22, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

We never realize the value of something in our life until it becomes a memory.

I am 86 and live amongst folks many years older than I am. Many like me wonder if our minor lapses of memory are normal or early signs of dementia. Fortunately we are just experiencing normal aging. But even those memory challenges can be minimized with some brain stimulation.

Many years ago I copied the following memory enhancement tips. Now if I can only remember to follow them.

Here are some ways to improve your memory

1. Exercise regularly: Studies have shown that aerobic fitness may reduce the loss of brain tissue common in aging.

2. Stick to a healthy diet: Avoid sugar and saturated fat. And eat lots of antioxidant-rich fruits and vegetables such as blueberries, spinach and beets. The magnesium found in dark green, leafy vegetables appears to help maintain memory.

3. Learn new things: Mastering activities you’ve never done before, such as playing the piano or learning a foreign language, stimulates neuron activity.

4. Get enough sleep: Too little sleep impairs concentration.

5. Devise memory strategies: Make notes or underline key passages to help you remember what you’ve read. Invent mnemonics formulas to help you remember things.

6. Socialize: Conversation, especially positive, meaningful interaction, helps maintain brain function.

7. Get organized: Designate a place for important items such as keys and checkbooks. Keep checklists for things such as daily medications or items to pack when you travel.

8. Turn off the tube: Experts say too much TV watching weakens brain power.

9. Jot down new information: Writing helps transfer items from short to long-term memory.

10. Solve brainteasers: Crossword puzzles, card games and board games such as Scrabble improve your memory.

~~~

To observe attentively is to remember distinctly.

Edgar Allan Poe

~~~

Only A Southerner Knows

* Only a Southerner knows how many collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up “a mess.”  

* Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of “yonder.”  

* Only a Southerner knows exactly how long “directly” is – as in: “Going to town, be back directly.”  

* All Southerners know exactly when “by and by” is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.  

* Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad.  

* Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between “right near” and “a right far piece.” They also know that “just down the road” can be 1 mile or 20.  

* No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

* A Southerner knows that “fixin” can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.  

* A Southerner knows that when you say “crack” the window you mean open the window up (in the house) or roll it down (in the car).  

* In the South, ‘y’all’ is singular….’all y’all” is plural.  

* And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say “Bless her heart” and go your own way.  

~~~

If someone does not smile at you, be generous and offer your own smile.

Nobody needs more a smile than the one that cannot smile to others.

~~~

Nathan is talking to his lawyer. “Here’s the deal, Abe. If you’re absolutely sure I’ll win the case, I’ll give you the business.”

“OK,” replies Abe, “but before I can give you my opinion, I obviously need to know the facts.”

So Nathan goes into great detail about his failed partnership and ends up saying, “So now you’ve heard everything, do you think I can sue my partner and get my money back?”

“Well,” replies Abe, “from what I’ve just heard, it’s clear to me that you will win. It’s rare to have such an open-and-shut case.”

Nathan goes very white when he hears this.

“What’s the matter?” asks Abe.

“I told you my partner’s side of the case,” replies Nathan.

~~~

Is it my imagination, or do Buffalo wings taste like chicken?

~~~

A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, “Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids….”

~~~

I’ve started a new exercise program.  Immediately after waking in the morning, I always say sternly to myself, “Ready?  Now.  Up.  Down.  Up. Down!”  And after two strenuous minutes I tell myself, “Okay, now try the other eyelid!”

~~~

Speak when you’re angry, and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.

Lawrence J. Peter

~~~

He said:

The restaurant where I took my two sons for a meal was crowded with fans watching a sporting event on television. The harried waitress took our order, but more than half an hour passed with no sign of her return.

I was trying to keep my kids from becoming restless when suddenly shouts of victory came from the bar.

“Hey,” commented my 11-year-old, “it sounds as if someone just got his food.”

~~~

“Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.”

Robert Orben

~~~

After reading an ad offering split, dry firewood for $60 a cord, including delivery, Ernie phoned in an order. During the drop-off, though, Ernie became upset. “That’s not a full cord of wood,” he objected.

“That’s what I call a cord,” the man answered firmly.

Grudgingly, Ernie fished around in his pocket and thrust some bills into the man’s hands.

“Hey, wait a minute,” the woodsman complained after counting the money.

“You only gave me $30.”

With a shrug of the shoulders, Ernie replied, “That’s what I call $60.”

~~~

Your memory is the glue that binds your life together; everything you are today is because of your amazing memory. You are a data collecting being, and your memory is where your life is lived.

Kevin Horsley,

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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