Ray's musings and humor

What do you do?

Ray’s Daily

February 3, 2021

http://rays-daily.com

“No matter how busy you may think you are, you must find time for reading, or surrender yourself to self-chosen ignorance.”

Confucius

I had a great day yesterday, I got to visit my wife in her long term care facility for the first time in months. It went well, her memory loss has not dampained her affection. I now will be able to visit her often as I have been designated as one of her caregivers. I am being regukarly tested to make sure I am Covid free and am grateful to our residents executive director for her making this possible. I am off to a early doctor appointment so here is another reprint.

Ray’s Daily first published on February 3, 2009

I had lunch with a friend the other day and we talked about how frustrating it gets when there is something we know we would like to do and should do but we are so busy with other stuff that we think we have to do that we never get the good stuff done. It is the age old story of doing those things that sound critical (do it now stuff) but are not all that important instead of our doing those things that really are important but don’t have to be done right now. Unfortunately too many of the important things that are waiting until they become do “right now” things just linger and like a stone in your shoe create continued discomfort.

I feel especially guilty about my falling into this trap so often as I am my own boss and can make my own decisions and yet I still find myself saying yes more than I should, trying to read every page of every magazine I get, trying to learn more than I have time to study, and on and on. But I am getting better, and you know what? Every time I get something done that really is important I get a big boost. I have found that it is much more fun to get pleasure from something done, even if no one ever knows I did it, then feeling low because of all the things unfinished still on my plate.

I am sure few of you have the problem, but if you do you might benefit from some of Gretchen Rubin’s wisdom, here is what she offers:

Don’t confuse what you must do with what you choose to do. For example:

You don’t have to carry around a bottle of water.

You don’t have to finish a magazine before you throw it away.

You don’t have to dress to express your individuality.

You don’t have to drink wine with dinner.

You don’t have to carry a wallet.

You don’t have to watch reality TV.

You don’t have to take a shower every day.

You don’t have to check your email every minute.

You don’t have to answer your phone.

You don’t have to send out holiday cards.

You don’t have to read or watch crime reports.

You don’t have to keep up with sports news or celebrity gossip.

You don’t have to have house plants.

You don’t have to wear uncomfortable shoes.

~~~

You do have to keep some cash around at all times.

You do have to call when you’re going to be late.

You do have to remember the birthdays of your immediate family.

You do have to back up your computer files.

You do have to exercise regularly.

You do have to keep a cache of toilet paper in the house.

You do have to keep your phone charged.

You do have to keep a spare key.

~~~

“A man who is very busy seldom changes his opinions.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

~~~

Some advice from my personal trainer:

Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.

Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?

A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain… Good.

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

A: You’re not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: What’s the secret to healthy eating?

A: Thicker gravy.

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? Hello… Cocoa beans?!… Another vegetable! It’s the best feel good food around!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. Have a cookie… flour is a veggie!

One more thing… “When life hands you lemons, ask for a bottle of tequila and salt.”

~~~

~~~

Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears.

Rudyard Kipling

~~~

Woman phones up her husband at work for a chat.

Husband: “I’m sorry dear, but I’m up to my neck in work today.”

Wife: “But I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you, dear.”

Husband: “Okay, darling, but as I’ve got very little time now, so just give me the good news.”

Wife: “Well, the air bag works.”

~~~

Did you really think Mr. Rogers wanted you or me as a neighbor?

~~~

“Oh, No!” he gasped as he surveyed the disaster before him. Never in his 40 years of life had he seen anything like it. How anyone could have survived he did not know. He could only hope that somewhere amid the overwhelming destruction he would find his 16-year-old son. Only the slim hope of finding Danny kept him from turning and fleeing the scene. He took a deep breath and proceeded. Walking was virtually impossible with so many things strewn across his path. He moved ahead slowly.

“Danny! Danny!” he whispered to himself. He tripped and almost fell several times. He heard someone, or something, move. At least he thought he did. Perhaps, he was just hoping he did. He shook his head and felt his gut tighten. He couldn’t understand how this could have happened. There was some light but not enough to see very much. Something cold and wet brushed against his hand. He jerked it away. In desperation, he took another step then cried out, “Danny!”

From a nearby pile of unidentified material, he heard his son. “Yes, Dad,” he said, in a voice so weak it could hardly be heard.

“It’s time to get up and get ready for school,” the man sighed, “and, for heaven’s sake, clean up this room.”

~~~

Life is like a game of cards.

The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will.

Jawaharlal Nehru

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@comcast.net. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are hundreds of  readers from around the world.

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