Ray's musings and humor

Ray’s Daily

December 14, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“Train your mind to see the good in every situation.”

These days I feel like a hermit. I miss being able to visit with my wife. I miss not being able to see my grandchildren and great grandchildren. I miss not being able to visit with friends. I miss not being able to interact with my neighbors. I, like so many others are locked down in order to avoid the COVID-19 virus. But:

  • I am well fed while thousands of others go hungry
  • I have a warm and comfortable place to live while thousands are homeless
  • I have children who help my wife and me with our needs while others have no one
  • I am virus free while millions of others suffer the raviges of disease
  • I have adequate resources while thousands of others have lost their income and savings

So even during these tough times I have a lot to be thankful for.

Promise yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear; and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

C.D. Larson

~~~

“Say something positive, and you’ll see something positive.”

Jim Thompson

~~~

Pete and Gladys were looking at a new living room suite in the furniture store.  Pete says to the salesman, “We really like it, but I don’t think we can afford it.”

The salesman says, “You just make a small down payment.  Then you don’t make another payment for six months.”
Gladys wheeled around with her hands on her hips and says, “Who told you about us?”

~~~

A newly married man asks his wife, “Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?”
“Darling,” the woman replies sweetly, “I’d have married you no matter who left a you a fortune.”

~~~
A lot of trouble in this world is caused by combining a narrow mind with a wide mouth.
~~~


At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, “We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41.”

So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35.

So again we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate. Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: “Thank you for participating in Delta’s physical fitness program.”

~~~


A reporter was interviewing a 104-year-young woman. “And what do you think is the best thing about 104?” the journalist asked.

“No peer pressure,” she replied.
~~~

Differences Between You and Your Boss…
When you take a long time, you’re slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough…
When you don’t do it, you’re lazy.
When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy…
When you make a mistake, you’re an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he’s only human…
When doing something without being told, you’re overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that’s initiative…
When you take a stand, you’re being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he’s being firm…
When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you’re being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he’s being original…
When you please your boss, you’re apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he’s being co-operative…
When you’re out of the office, you’re wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he’s on business…
When you’re on a day off sick, you’re always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill…
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it’s because he’s overworked…

~~~


A well adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what she’s going to exchange it for.

~~~

A man goes to the track and sees a Priest blessing a horse before a race and quickly goes to the ticket window and bets. The horse wins. He watches the Priest carefully for the next four races, and continues to win, until he has quite a small fortune. He decides to bet it all on one last race.

Before the horse crosses the finish line however, it drops dead. The man rushes up to the Priest, confronts him with what he’s seen and demands an explanation.

The Priest just shakes his head sadly and says, “That’s one of the problems with you Protestants. You don’t know the difference between a blessing and the last rites.”

~~~
In times of prosperity men ask too little of God. In times of adversity, they ask too much.
~~~

Top brass from the Army, Navy and Marine Corps were arguing about who had the bravest troops. They decided to settle the dispute using an enlisted man from each branch.

The Army General called a private over and ordered him to climb to the top of the base flagpole while singing “The Caissons Go Rolling Along,” then let go with both hands, and salute. The private quickly complied.

Next, the Admiral ordered a sailor to climb the pole, polish the brass knob at the top, sing “Anchors Aweigh,” salute smartly and jump off. The sailor did as he was told and landed on the concrete below.

Finally, the marine was told to do exactly as the army and navy men had done, but in full battle gear, pack filled with bricks, loaded weapon carried high. He took one look at the Marine General and said, “You’re out of your mind, sir!”

The marine commander turned to the others. “Now THAT’S guts!”

~~~

. “Inspiration comes from within yourself. One has to be positive. When you’re positive, good things happen.”

Deep Roy

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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