December 11, 2020
“The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.”
Frank Lloyd Wright
You know what I don’t understand is why some folks seem to go through life always complaining. At my age I don’t have time to waste focusing on my maladies or limitations. I am aware of the changes that have come with aging but letting them change my behavior would be of no value.
As my wife and I have had to learn to deal with our separation now that she has meved to an extended care facility, we are doing OK. She is getting the professional help needed to make her days as pleasant as possible, and I am grateful for that.
Yes, my days are different now but that does not mean that I won’t be able to enjoy what I have. Many of the folks who are even much older then I am in my community are an inspiration because they stay positive.
Here is a story I may have shared before, it is an example of the way some of my new friends live their lives.
Each day is a gift
A 92-year-old delicate but well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with his hair fashionably coifed and his face shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.
His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.
As he manoeuvred his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.
‘I love it,’ he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.
‘Mr. Jones, you haven’t seen the room; just wait.’
‘That doesn’t have anything to do with it,’ he replied.
‘Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged … it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. ‘It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.’
‘Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away. Just for this time in my life.’
‘Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you’ve put in.’
‘So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing.’
Remember these five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred
2. Free your mind from worries
3. Live simply
4. Give more
5. Expect less
“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”
Bizarre Courtroom Testimony
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.
Q: Could you see him from where you were standing?
A: I could see his head.
Q: And where was his head?
A: Just above his shoulders.
Q: Were you acquainted with the deceased?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: Before or after he died?
Q. Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?
A: I refuse to answer that question.
Q: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?
A: I refuse to answer that question.
Q: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?
“Most people are so lazy, that they don’t even exercise good judgment!”
Nancy: Mary, what exactly is an “oxymoron”?
Mary: It’s a phrase made up of contradictory terms, like “deafening silence.”
Nancy: Oh, I get it. Like “Mr. Perfect”!
If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.
To all those of you taking time off for the holidays, here’s some great suggestions for when you set up your “out of office” auto replies …
- You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
- Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
- The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this one is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)
- Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
- I’ve run away to join a different circus.
- I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
- I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Margaret’ instead of ‘Steve’.
“I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.”
An old man strode in to his doctors office and said, “Doc, my druggist said to tell you to change my prescription and to check the prescription you’ve been giving to Mrs. Smith.”
“Oh, he did, did he?” the doctor shot back. “And since when does a druggist second guess a doctor’s orders?”
The old man says, “Since he found out I’ve been on birth control pills since February.”
Make yourself at home. Clean my kitchen.
Playing golf with his buddies, George had to make a slick 25-foot putt. As he lined it up, he announced, “I have a dollar bill that says I can make this putt. Does anyone want to bet?”
His three friends eagerly agreed to the wager. Too bad, George missed the putt by ten feet, and his friends gathered around to collect their money.
George pulled out a dollar bill on which he had written, ‘I can make this putt.’
His pals are still trying to collect on the bet…and George is too.
Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.”
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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