Ray's musings and humor

You Can Too

Ray’s Daily

November 17, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

It is never too late to be what you might have been.

George Eliot

One of the things that has impressed me the most has been how many folks I have met who have excelled in second careers. Some have been as volunteers’ others as employees or business leaders. I know in my case my second career was amazing.

I think too many of us think our life slows down as we age, but I think it only does if we let it. No matter how old we are we are not too old to find new opportunities to enrich our lives. Here is a story you may have heard before but it remains an example of late life success.

In the 1940s, there was a man who, at the age of 65, was living off of $99 social security checks in a small house, driving a beat-up car.

He decided it was time to make a change, so he thought about what he had to offer that other people may benefit from. His mind went to his fried chicken recipe, which his friends and family loved.

He left his home state of Kentucky and traveled throughout the country, trying to sell his recipe to restaurants. He even offered the recipe for free, asking for only a small chunk of the money that was earned.

However, most of the restaurants declined his offer. In fact, 1,009 restaurants said no.

But even after all of the rejections, he persisted. He believed in himself and his chicken recipe.

When he visited restaurant #1,010, he got a YES.

His name? Colonel Hartland Sanders.

The Moral:

There are a few lessons that you can take away from this story. First, it’s never too late in life to find success. In a society that often celebrates young, successful people, it’s easy to start to think you’re never going to be successful after a certain age. However, Colonel Sanders is an example that proves that argument wrong.

~~~

Follow your passion. The rest will attend to itself. If I can do it, anybody can do it. It’s possible. And it’s your turn. So go for it. It’s never too late to become what you always wanted to be in the first place.

J. Michael Straczynski

~~~

Kyle and Justin were sitting down to eat their supper with the baby sitter when 6 year old Kyle saw the baby sitter sit down in his daddy’s seat.

“You can’t sit in Daddy’s seat!” Kyle exclaimed.

“Daddy’s not home,” the baby sitter replied, matter-of- factly. “Since I’m responsible for you while he’s gone, I can sit here. Today I’m the boss.”

Justin, the 4 year old, quickly piped up, “If you’re the boss, you have to sit over there in Mommy’s chair!”

~~~

“I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?”

Jean Kerr

~~~

A lady lost her purse in the bustle of shopping at the mall. It was found by an honest little boy, who returned it to her.

Looking in her purse, she commented, “Hmm, that’s funny. When I lost my bag, there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills.”

The boy quickly replied, “That’s right, lady. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward.”

~~~

Remember, once you get over the hill, you’ll begin to pick up speed.

~~~

I won’t tell you who told me this.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear end without turning around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and realize that it is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless on film.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream “Listen honey, even the Roman Empire fell, and those will, too!”

Mid-life brings with it the wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we’re sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and think: “For this I have stretch marks??”

In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact, the only thing we can still retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally… more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.

~~~

When there’s someone around to make change the change machine works perfectly, and when there isn’t it doesn’t.

~~~

Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant.

“Sid,” asked Al, “Are there any Jews in China?”

“I don’t know,” Sid replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?”

When the waiter came by, Al said, “Are there any Chinese Jews?”

“I don’t know sir, let me ask,” the waiter replied and he went into the kitchen.

He quickly returned and said, “No, sir. No Chinese Jews.”

“Are you sure?” Al asked.

“I will check again, sir.” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While he was still gone, Sid said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere.”

When the waiter returned he said, “Sir, no Chinese Jews.”

“Are you really sure?” Al asked again. “I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews.”

“Sir, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied exasperated. “We have orange jews, prune jews, tomato jews and grape jews, but no one ever hear of Chinese jews!”

~~~

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out”?

~~~

Laws of Parenting

—The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.

—For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.

—Toys multiply to fill any space available.

—The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.

—Yours is always the only child who doesn’t behave.

—If the shoe fits…it’s expensive.

—The surest way to get something done is to tell a child not to do it.

—The gooier the food, the more likely it is to end up on the carpet.

—Backing the car out of the driveway causes your child to have to go to the bathroom.

~~~

To err is human—to blame it on a computer is even more so.

~~~

She says that:

“Hey Marco! Is it true you have a new girlfriend?” I quizzed.

“Yeah, it’s true” he mumbled.

“Hey, what’s the matter?”  I asked.

“Well, it’s my new girlfriend,” he said.

“Oh yeah?  What’s the problem?”

“Well I asked her if she could learn to love me,” he replied.

“Yeah…and?” I pried further. “and she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education.

~~~

Find out what you don’t do well and don’t do it.

~~~

The state trooper pulled Mr. Schwarz over and, after inspecting his license and registration, informed the motorist that he was going to have to spend the night in jail.

“What’s the charge?  Mr. Schwarz demanded.

“None,” replied the officer.  “It’s all part of the service.”

~~~

“If the path you’re walking on seems to be leading you to nowhere, stop and choose another. It’s never too late to change direction.”

Anonymous

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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