Ray's musings and humor

I am going to rest

Ray’s Daily

November 6, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“The ballot is stronger than the bullet.”

Abraham Lincoln

Sorry for the missed Dailies this week. I had computer problems. Here is a reprint for today.

Ray’s Daily first published om November 6, 2008

The elections are over, I have said more than enough about how we may have to adjust to a changing world. Today I have a little bit of brain fatigue and have decided I am going to mostly coast. I only have an early Kiwanis Club meeting and a lunch meeting with a respected friend. So today I am going to nap and enjoy frivolous pursuits. As I was dipping into old Dailies that I had sent on this day over the years I found the one that follows. I was glad I did because I just had dinner with one of my older grandsons, he is a guy I really like and I am glad that he spends time with me on occasion. I wish I had not missed so many days with my own children. I think far too often we get so carried away with career and other self-imposed obligations that we lose sight of what is really important in life.

Ray’s Daily

November 6, 2002

One of my biggest disappointments has been that I did not spend much time with my children in their earlier years. I was always either traveling for weeks or even months at a time, or working long days and weekends. When I read the following story it really hit home. If you have a choice, please make the right one.

“Daddy, how much do you make an hour?”

With a timid voice and idolizing eyes, the little boy greeted his father as he returned from work.

Greatly surprised, but giving his boy a glaring look, the father said: “Look, son, not even your mother knows that.  Don’t bother me now, I’m tired.”

“But Daddy, just tell me please!  How much do you make an hour?” the boy insisted.  The father, finally giving up, replied: “Twenty dollars per hour.”

“Okay, Daddy.  Could you loan me ten dollars?” the boy asked.

Showing his restlessness and positively disturbed, the father yelled: “So that was the reason you asked how much I earn, right?  Go to sleep and don’t bother me anymore!”

It was already dark and the father was meditating on what he said and was feeling guilty.  Maybe he thought, his son wanted to buy something. Finally, trying to ease his mind, the father went to his son’s room.

“Are you asleep, son?” asked the father.

“No, Daddy.  Why?” replied the boy, partially asleep.

“Here’s the money you asked for earlier,” the father said.

“Thanks, Daddy!” rejoiced the son, while putting his hand under his pillow and removing some money.

“Now I have enough!  Now I have twenty dollars!” the boy said to his father, who was gazing at his son, confused at what his son had just said. “Daddy, could you sell me one hour of your time?”

~~~

The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.

Pearl S. Buck

~~~

The seven year old told her mom, that a little boy in her class asked her to play doctor. “Oh, dear,” the mother nervously sighed. “What happened, honey?”

“Nothing, he made me wait 45 minutes and then double billed the insurance company.”

~~~

Never trust a dog to watch your food.

Patrick, Age 10

~~~

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the evidence that I have been using company property for personal purposes, including circulating my resume and searching for more rewarding and satisfying work.

And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work: 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday, and 5% on Friday.

And help me to remember that when I’m having a really bad day, and it seems that people are working on my last Good Nerve, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me.

~~~

I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

~~~

A bride called to make a change to her wedding registry. It is common, almost expected, that a bride will change something on her registry at least once (dishes, color of towels, etc.). The Customer Service Representative told her that J.C. Penney would be happy to make the change. He asked if the bride wanted to change the dishes or the linens.

The bride said, “No, keep all that. I just wanted to change the name of the groom.”

~~~

Two men meet on the street. One asks the other: “Hi, how are you?”

The other replies: “I’m fine, thanks.”

“And how’s your son? Is he still unemployed?”

“Yes, he is. But he is meditating now.”

“Meditating? What’s that?”

“I don’t know. But it’s better than sitting around and doing nothing!”

~~~

The person who spends all of today bragging about what he is going to accomplish tomorrow probably did the very same thing yesterday.

~~~

This nice old Jewish lady went decided to buy a parrot, so she went to the store and bought one. The parrot seemed fine and when Friday night came, she dressed the parrot up and went to temple. The parrot seemed fine but when the rabbi went to bless the congregation, the parrot screamed out, “It’s freakin’ cold in here!”

The woman,

completely appalled, grabbed the parrot and ran out. Well, the parrot seemed fine for the next week so once again, on Friday she and the parrot got dressed up and went to temple. Like the previous week, the parrot was fine until the rabbi went to bless the congregation at which point the parrot, once again screamed out, “It’s freakin’ cold in here!”

Once again, the lady was appalled, grabbed the parrot and ran out of temple. She decided to confront the man at the pet store to see what was going on.

The clerk at the pet store said, “You gotta show the parrot who’s boss so here is what you do. The next time he does this, grab him by his legs and swing him around your head a few times. That should teach him a lesson.”

That Friday night they once again got dressed up and went to temple. Like the previous two weeks, when the rabbi went to bless the congregation, the parrot screamed out, “It’s freakin’ cold in here!”

The lady, remembering what the clerk said, grabbed the parrot by its legs and swung it around her head a few times. When she was done, the parrot looked at her and screamed out, “And freakin’ windy, too!”

~~~

A woman answered her front door and found two little boys holding a list.

“Lady,” one of them explained, “we’re on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar.”

“Wow,” the woman replied. “Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?”

“Our baby-sitter’s boyfriend.”

~~~

The place to improve the world is first in one’s own heart and head and hands.

Robert M. Pirsig

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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