October 22, 2020
“There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something better tomorrow”
Orison Swett Marden
Ray’s Daily first published on October 22, 2007
I really like the Marden quote. I am a big believer in always expecting the best because almost always things do turn out that way. I am sure I have told you before that I don’t worry until it is too late. When things turn out well, as they usually do, I will not have been bogged down in worry. If per chance something does not go well it can be dealt with when it happens. Of course I do believe that I should do what I can to keep the odds in my favor as an example I quit smoking many years ago and I am sure that made a difference in my recent test results.
While I am not racing or even walking fast today I am pleased to report that my Cardiac Cath procedure indicated that I do not have any significant blockage and will not need a bypass or angioplasty. I do have a lot of bruising and discomfort from the incision and the procedure but it is not bad. I again was pleased with the medical team, nice people but I would prefer to meet them socially and not professionally. I was especially pleased that the operating room nurses were so self controlled. The only thing covered just prior to the procedure was my feet and not one of them pointed and laughed. We’ll see if the nurses on November 8th are equally as kind since that operation will be even more revealing.
This week should be pretty good as there will be no cutting on my body. Tomorrow I get a CAT scan which just runs me into a tube and Wednesday they will only draw a little blood. Isn’t life grand?
I am still limiting myself to about one outside activity a day since I am still moving slow, but soon I will again be jumping over tall buildings and more. I hope all of you will have remained close enough that I can catch back up when that happens.
“I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor’s office was full of portraits by Picasso.”
Things You Wouldn’t Know Without Help From the Movies
1. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings – especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.
2. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade at any time of the year.
3. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involved martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.
4. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
5. It’s easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
6. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.
7. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
8. All single women have a cat.
9. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
10. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them
12. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
13. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
14. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
15. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
16. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
17. If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity
18. If a killer is lurking in your house, it’s easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath.
19. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
“Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.”
Sir Francis Bacon
A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: “An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse’s mate is found in a ‘compromising position.'”
“See, I have a problem with that passion business,” responded the jury candidate. “During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot him.” She wasn’t selected for the jury.
If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you’ll never enjoy the sunshine.
Yeshiva University decided to field a rowing team. Unfortunately, they lose race after race. Even though they practice and practice for hours everyday, they never manage to come in any better than dead last.
Finally, the team decides to send Morris Fishbein, its captain, to spy on Harvard, the perennial championship team. So Morris schlepps off to Cambridge and hides in the bushes next to the Charles River, where he carefully watches the Harvard team at its daily practices.
After a week, Morris returns to Yeshiva. “Well, I figured out their secret,” he announces.
“What? Tell us! Tell us!” his teammates shout.
“We should have only one guy yelling. The other eight should row.”
The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
“I know the country has been mired in deficit spending and it’s been terrible burden on the country in terms of interest payments. Good news today out of Washington. They have raised the limit of debt we can go to to $9 trillion.
It sends a great message to the kids: Hey, are you getting an F? Don’t study harder, make the grading curve go out to K. Then your F looks like a C.”
“If parents would only realize how they bore their children.”
George Bernard Shaw
I was sitting in the foyer of a bank when a young man walked by, and then stopped for a moment on his way out. I noticed that one of the latches on his overstuffed briefcase was unfastened, putting strain on the remaining latch.
“You’re going to lose the contents of your briefcase,” I warned him.
Just then the case burst open. He stared at me with something akin to fear in his eyes as he gasped, “How on earth did you do that?”
You are not happy because you are well. You are well because you are happy. You are not depressed because trouble has come to you, but trouble has come to you because you are depressed. You can change your thoughts and feelings and then the outer things will come to correspond. Indeed, there is no other way of working.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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