Ray's musings and humor

Making the best of it

Ray’s Daily

September 14, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.

Woody Allen

Last week I had a thorough review of my health and mental status by a geriatrician and her staff at a senior health center. She reviewed all of my medications and recommended dropping some supplements’ but felt that the many medications I take daily were appropriate. She also felt that the regimen I was on coupled with daily exercise will result in my return to better health and increased stamina.

The mental tests showed that I had a few short term memory issues that could be due to all that is going on in my life these days. We reviewed my wife’s and my separation do to her being located in a nursing facility. In addition we reviewed my current pandemic isolation that has prevented my  social contacts. While I was not diagnosed as having depression it was noted that I was somewhat lonesome and saddened by my current situation.

Bottom line was that I should exercise, stay as active as I can, and most of all socialize as much as possible. I do enjoy an occasional meal outside with my daughters but other than that I never see any of my close friends and seldom see my fellow residents since we still are isolated. In summary I need to concentrate on what I can do and stay positive.

Here is an abridged article that is consistent with what I was told.

11 Keys to Constant Happiness – by Hale Dwoskin

1. Look for happiness in the right place. – We spend most of our time looking for happiness in all the wrong places. If you simply look within, you can discover the source of unlimited happiness now. Also, if you examine those things that you think make you happy, I think you will find this pattern inside.

2. Stop rushing past life. – Have the attitude of, “I have all the time in the world,” even when working on a deadline. If you catch yourself rushing, simply let go of pushing yourself as best you can and allow yourself to take one step or one action at a time.

3. Let go! – Most of us spend way too much time holding onto what was. If you let go of what was, and stop dragging it into the present or projecting it into the future, you can enjoy what is now.

4. Accept what is. – When we want to change what is, we suffer. If you just let go of wanting to change what is as best you can, even for a moment, you are immediately happier. Plus, you no longer have to hold onto your problems in order to change them, and they often change or clear up all by themselves.

5. Give from your heart. – The giver is truly blessed. Whenever you give without wanting anything in return, even if it is just an understanding ear, you are instantly happier. The key is in not expecting to get anything from giving.

6. Give love instead of trying to get it. – If you look for others to give you love, you will often be unhappy. However, if you allow yourself to be as loving as you can for no reason at all, you will instantly feel happier.

7. Be present with what is. – If you are simply present with whatever you are experiencing now, as opposed to what was or what might be, you will find there is no end to your happiness.

8. Live life wide open. – The more you simply open inside you let the pain you already have out and you become transparent to the pain that appears to be coming from outside of you. When you are truly open the pain can’t stick to you.

9. Pick agreements.- If you look for things to agree with just as they are, you can find them, even at your darkest hour. Every time you pick an agreement with what is in your experience, you experience more happiness.

10. Expand your awareness. – As you expand your awareness, you expand your ability to feel happy. 

11. Accept the possibility of Happiness now. – Most of us are waiting for something to change in order to give us an excuse to be happy. If we decide it is possible to be happy, whether or not that something ever changes, we can become happy now.

~~~

Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude. Dale Carnegie

~~~

As a doctor completed his examination of the patient he said, “I can’t find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it’s due to drinking.”  

The patient replied, “In that case I’ll come back when you’re sober!”  

~~~

The poor person eats potato soup; the rich person, vichyssoise.

~~~

Helpful Tips To Make Life Simpler

1. Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don’t know.  

2. Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the curb.  

3. Lose weight quickly by eating raw pork and rancid tuna. I found that the subsequent food poisoning enabled me to lose 12 pounds in only 2 days.  

4. Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe whenever you leave your car parked illegally.  

5. No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.  

6. Apply red nail polish to your toe nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red carpet, in which case a contrasting polish should be selected).  

7. If a person is choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down their throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.  

8. Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whiskey. The following morning you can create the effects of hangover by drinking a thimble full of dish washing liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.  

~~~

You pile up enough tomorrows and you’ll be left with nothing but a bunch of empty yesterdays. I don’t know about you, but I’d like to make today worth remembering.

Meredith Wilson

~~~

A hostess is making final arrangements for an elaborate reception. “Nora,” she said to her veteran servant, “for the first half-hour I want you to stand at the drawing room door and call the guests’ names as they arrive.”  

Nora’s face lit up. “Thank you, ma’am,” she replied. “I’ve been wanting to do that to some of your friends for the last twenty years.”  

~~~

“Interns scare me. They’re too young. How can you have confidence in a doctor who has his rubber gloves pinned to his sleeves?”

Joan Rivers

~~~

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were three finalists, Bill, Sam and Thersa.

For the final test, the FBI agents took Bill to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find Betty, your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her !!”

Bill said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.”

The agent said, “Then you’re not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.”

Sam was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Sam came out with tears in his eyes, “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.”

The agent said “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”

It Thersa’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband Bob. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood Thersa, wiping the sweat from her brow. “This gun is loaded with blanks” she said. “I had to beat Bob to death with the chair.”

~~~

There are three stages of men’s hair: parted, unparted and departed.

~~~

A comely redhead was thrilled to have obtained a divorce and dazzled by the skill and virtuosity of her lawyer, not to mention his healthy income and good looks. In fact, she realized, she had fallen head over heels in love with him, even though he was a married man.

“Oh, John,” she sobbed at the conclusion of the trial, “isn’t there some way we can be together, the way we were meant to be?”

Taking her by the shoulders, John proceeded to scold her for her lack of discretion and good judgment. “Snatched drinks in grimy bars on the edge of town, lying on the phone, hurried meetings in sordid motels rooms – is that really what you want for us?”

“No, no…” she sobbed, heartsick.

“Oh,” said the lawyer. “Well, it was just a suggestion.”

~~~

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.

Denis Waitley

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

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