Ray's Daily

Ray’s Daily

August 11, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“To make a difference in someone’s life you don’t have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful, or perfect. You just have to care.”

Mandy Hale

It seems that there is not a day that goes by that we don’t hear more about how unkind so many of our fellow citizens have become. It appears that many of us want to place blaim on others for everything bad in our lives. Those who hate don’t just poison relationships, they poison themselves.

The people who I appreciate are those who demonstrate their love of their fellow man by their acts of kindness. They are the folks who brighten our days as they make our world a better place.

If You Were Arrested for Kindness

If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you?

Some people cheer up a room by entering it, others by leaving it.

What do you bring to your interactions with workmates, friends, and family? Is it encouragement, optimism or kind words? Or is it pessimism, criticism or cynicism?

People often forget what we say and usually what we do, but as Maya Angelou said . . . ‘They always remember how we made them feel.’

Here are some other wise words about kindness:

‘Wise sayings often fall on barren ground, but a kind word is never thrown away’

Sir Arthur Helps

‘You will regret many things in life, but you will never regret being too kind or too fair’

Brian Tracy

‘Don’t wait for people to be kind. Show them how’

Anonymous

‘The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention’

Oscar Wilde

‘That best portion of a good man’s life: his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love’

William Wordsworth

‘Kindness is loving people more than they deserve’

Joseph Joubert

‘We are made kind by being kind’

Eric Hoffer

‘Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment’

Benjamin Franklin

‘You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late’

Ralph Waldo Emerson

‘Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom’

Theodore Isaac Rubin, M.D.

‘Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true’

Robert Brault

Written by Michael Josephson

~~~

“Treat everyone with politeness and kindness, not because they’re nice, but because you are.”

Roy T. Bennett

~~~

A cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure. Why not?”

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1586 cows and calves.”

“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says the cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused

as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the cowboy says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

“You’re a consultant systems analyst..” says the cowboy.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don’t know anything about my business.”

“Now give me back my dog”.

~~~

All must be held accountable, but don’t quote me on that.

~~~

In Africa, every morning a gazelle awakens knowing that it must outrun the fastest lion if it wants to stay alive. Every morning, a lion wakes up knowing it must run faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death.

Moral of the story:

It makes no difference whether you are a gazelle or a lion:  When the sun comes up, you had better be hauling ass.

~~~

Confucius say man who sink into woman’s arms soon have arms in woman’s sink.

~~~

Lunching with a friend in a fast-food restaurant, I was telling her about a teenager who had rear-ended my car. The teen blamed me for the accident.

“She even called me every dirty name in the book!” I said.

Just then I looked over to the next table where two nine-year-old boys had apparently been paying close attention to my story.

One said to the other, “There’s a book?”

~~~

There are three kinds of memory – good, bad and convenient.

~~~

Wendy’s signs of the times

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon: “Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels”

On a Septic Tank Truck sign: “We’re #1 in the #2 business.”

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office: “Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

At a Proctologist’s door “To expedite your visit please back in.”

On a Plumber’s truck: “Don’t sleep with a drip Call your plumber..”

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: “Invite us to your next blowout.”

At a Towing company: “We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”

On an Electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”

On a Maternity Room door: “Push. Push. Push.”

At an Optometrist’s Office “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”

In a Podiatrist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.”

On a Fence: “Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive.”

At a Car Dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet — miss a car payment.”

Outside a Muffler Shop: “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

In a Veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: “Drive carefully. We’ll wait”

At a Propane Filling Station, “Thank heaven for little grills.”

~~~

Getting people to like you is the other side of liking them.

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

Bill was meeting a friend in a bar, and as he went in, he noticed two pretty girls looking at him.

“Nine,” he heard one whisper as he passed.  Feeling pleased with himself, he swaggered over to his waiting buddy and told him a girl had just rated him a nine out of ten.

“I don’t want to burst your bubble,” his friend replied, “but when you came in, they were speaking German.”

~~~

Q: What’s a Jewish sweater?

A: It’s what a Jewish child wears when his mother is cold.

~~~

The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. “How could you do this!” he demanded.

“I don’t know,” she wailed, “I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, ‘Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.'”

“Well,” the pastor persisted, “You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, “Get behind me, Satan!”

“I did,” replied his wife. “He said ‘You look great from here too.'”

~~~

“You don’t have to move mountains. Simply fall in love with life. Be a tornado of happiness, gratitude, and acceptance. You will change the world just by being a warm, kind-hearted human being.”

Anita Krizzan

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

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