Ray's musings and humor

They found happiness

Ray’s Daily

July 30, 2019

http://rays-daily.com

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.

If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

Albert Schweitzer

bright-future

Ray’s Daily first published on July 30, 2004

 I heard from another friend yesterday who is taking advantage of a mid-life career change to find those things that he finds meaningful and rewarding, as well as something that will allow him to pursue personal and family interests. Over the past ten years or so I have had the good fortune of spending many hours with people who have decided, often due to job elimination, that they were ready to find the path that would make the rest of their lives all that they want it to be. Many times they are like so many of the rest of us and see job loss as a negative rather than an opportunity that many never get to choose their futures. Too many of us resign ourselves to the belief that we are stuck where we are and must spend the rest of our lives there, at least these people have a great opportunity to break away.

We often sit for hours discussing their wants and needs while developing a model of what they might find that will provide them the greatest amount of satisfaction. We work to develop their market research plan and then use the results to launch an effective self marketing program. I don’t think there is anything better than to have someone understand what they want, develop a plan to get what they want, and then to thrive when they get it. If I make an even miniscule contribution to their success my time is well spent.

~~~

Sometimes you wonder how you got on this mountain.

But sometimes you wonder, “How will I get off?”

Joan Manley

~~~

He said: Parents are justifiably upset when their children don’t get into the college of their choice.  As an admissions counselor for a state university, I took a call from an irate mother demanding to know why her daughter had been turned down.  Avoiding any mention of the transcript full of D’s, I explained that her daughter just wasn’t as “competitive” as the admitted class.  “Why doesn’t she try anther school for a year and then transfer?” I suggested.

“Another school!” exclaimed Mom.  “Have you seen her grades?”

~~~

Life is an adventure in forgiveness.

Norman Cousins

~~~

One day I called my mother from my apartment to make some plans with her.  In the background behind her, I could hear a terrible noise, like a jet plane taking off.

“Mother,” I asked apprehensively, “what’s that awful noise?”

“It’s the dishwasher,” she replied.  “Your father fixed it.”

~~~

The secret to immortality is %^^^~### NO CARRIER

~~~

When I stopped to visit a friend, I found her on the phone with a real estate agent. “That’s a little high!” she exclaimed. “What can I get for less than $500 a month?” The reply was evidently not to my friend’s liking. “I see,” she said abruptly, and hung up.

“What did the agent say you could get?” I asked.

“A car.”

~~~

Never date a woman whose father calls her “Princess”. Chances are she believes it.

~~~

The psychiatrists were attending their first seminar on emotional extremes.

“Just to establish some parameters,” said the leader, “Mr. Nichols, what is the opposite of joy?”

“Sadness,” said the student.

“And the opposite of depression, Ms. Biggs?”

“Elation.”

“And you sir, how about the opposite of woe?”

Bubba replied, “I believe that would be giddyup.”

~~~

She said: A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. And a woman’s gotta do what he can’t.

~~~

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.”

The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.”

The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!”

~~~

To learn from mistakes you must know you’re making them.

~~~

Wendy tells us that we may not know that many non-living things have a gender; For example..

1) Ziploc Bags — They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers — They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It’s an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) Tire — Male, because it goes bald and it’s often over-inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloon — Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there’s the hot air part.

5) Sponges — Female, because they’re soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) Web Page — Female, because it’s always getting hit on.

7) Subway — Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) Hourglass — Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9) Hammer — Male, because it hasn’t changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.

10) Remote Control — Female…… Ha! You thought it’d be male. But consider this — it gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

~~~

If God had intended women to exercise, he’d have put diamonds on the floor.

Joan Rivers

~~~

In the admitting office of our hospital, some patients were filling out forms, others were being interviewed and still others were being escorted to their rooms.

An elderly woman hesitantly entered my cubicle.  She had completed her admitting forms and, upon my request, handed me her insurance cards. I typed the necessary information and then asked her the reason for her coming to the hospital.

“Just to visit a friend,” she said, “but this had taken so long, I’m not sure I have time now.”

~~~

Hospital is a place where they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill.

~~~

A man returns from vacation and is feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the Hospital to undergo a barrage of tests.

After the tests, he wakes up in a private room at the hospital and the phone by his bed rings.

“This is your doctor. We got the results back from your tests and we discovered that you have a very nasty virus that is extremely contagious!”

“Oh my gosh,” cried the man, “What are you going to do, doctor?”

“Well, we’re going to put you on a diet of pizza, pancakes, and pita bread.”

“Will that cure me?” asked the man.

The doctor replied, “Well no, but…it’s the only food we can get under the door.”

~~~

We have a choice: to plow new ground or let the weeds grow.

Jonathan Westover

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

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