Ray's musings and humor

Be Thankful

Ray’s Daily

July `15, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

“A grateful mind is a great mind which eventually attracts to itself great things.”

Plato

Thumbs Up

These are times when it is easy to be depressed. Some of us have stayed in our living quarters for months with no end in sight. This isolation has limited the socialization opportunities to the internet and telephone for many of us.

On top of that we learn everyday about favorite restaurants and retailers closing for good. Our world will be different when it finally reopens. It is important that we continue to appreciate what we do have. Here is an article Iwas sent that reminds us that those of us who have stayed virus-free have a lot to be gratefull for.

Your Daily Gratitude List

by Dennis R. Tesdell

There is always something for which to be grateful, even when you feel as though your world is at an end. Thinking of things to be grateful for helps many people put life into perspective, especially during tough times. You will have your own personal things to add to this list. Here are some samples of things people can be grateful for daily.

  1. Being alive! George Burns often joked in his later years that a great day for him was waking up and not seeing candles, hearing church music, and seeing people attending his funeral.
  2. Nature and natural beauty. No matter where you live, there are natural things to look at and appreciate. Rainbows, fluffy clouds and blue skies, the fresh smell of ocean air, the warmth of the sun on a cool day, the coolness of a breeze, or a rain shower on a hot afternoon are all things you can appreciate and enjoy.
  3. A home and shelter. Many people take this for granted. Look around most cities and you will see people whose homes are cars, cardboard boxes, bridge underpasses or “shelters”.
  4. Abundant food to eat. You have a huge selection of good, inspected, healthy food to buy from numerous sources anytime.
  5. Friends. So many people are totally alone. If you have a friend, and even kind neighbors, you are better off than many people.
  6. Living in a democratic society. Politics aside, most of the world lives in a country where people can have rights such as voting and freedom to worship.

~~~

“Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is.”

Ernest Hemingway

~~~

She said: We start to “bud” in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs.

Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn’t even know we had.

Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time, which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn’t end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about.

Then it’s off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we don’t spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day, making us wonder if we’re having Rosemary’s Baby. Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee our pants every time we sneeze. (The latter condition never goes away, either…lots of times, neither does the former.)

When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we’ll waddle with our big cartoon feet, moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it’s huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, “Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one or (or 10) good push,” warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the bastard (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb. bowing ball through a keyhole.

After that, it’s time to raise those angels, only to find that when all that “cute” wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines.

The teen years. Need I say more?

The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our mid-30’s to early 40’s while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday (which just happens to be the reason all that early, hot, man sex got you pregnant in the first place).

Now we hit the grand finale: Menopause. The Grandmother of all womanhood. It’s either take the HRT and chance cancer in those now seasoned “buds” or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off of anything that moves.

Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life’s cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks…

Now, I love being a woman but “Womanhood” would make the Great Ghandi a tad crabby.

Women are the weaker sex?

Yeah, right. Bite me.

~~~

Shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

~~~

Nina and Rosey shared the chores and on this day Nina went to the grocery store. In addition to the healthful items on their carefully prepared shopping list, she returned with a box of sugar- laden cookies.

Nina noticed Rosey’s glare and said, “This box of cookies has one-third fewer calories than usual.”

“Oh really?? Why is that?” Rosey asked.

“I ate a third of the cookies on the way home,” Nina replied.

~~~

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?

~~~

Ron and John were building a house. John was on a ladder, nailing. He’d reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail, look at it, and either toss it over his shoulder or proceed to nail it into the wood.

Ron couldn’t stand it any longer and yelled, “Why are you throwing some of the nails away?”

John explained, “When I pull it out of my nail pouch. If it’s pointed toward me, I throw it away. If it’s pointed toward the house, then I can use it!”

Ron replied, “Don’t throw away the nails that are pointed toward you! They’re for the other side of the house.”

~~~

God gave us memories that we might have roses in December.

James M. Barrie

~~~

She said: A bricklayer at my husband’s construction job routinely complained about the contents of his lunch box. “I’m sick and tired of getting the same old thing!” he shouted one day. “Tonight I’ll set my wife straight.”

The next day the men could hardly wait until lunch time to hear what happened.

“You bet I told her off,” the bricklayer boasted. “I said, ‘No more of the same old stuff. Be creative!’ We had one heck of a fight, but I got my point across.”

He had indeed. In front of an admiring audience, he opened his lunch box to find that his wife had packed a coconut- and a hammer.

~~~

“Next time you think you’re perfect, try walking on water.”

~~~

When my friend was pregnant, she was having a hard time with the weight she’d gained. One day her husband persuaded her to go to the beach for the day. “There I sat, with my bulges and potbelly,” she told me later, “and this gorgeous girl, about 18 years old, walked by in a fluorescent pink micro bikini. And I started to cry.”

“When my husband asked what was wrong,” she continued, “I said, ‘Just look at that beautiful teenager. My body will never look like that again”

“He rolled over and glanced at the girl in pink, and–here’s how I know I’ve married a special man–he took my hand and kissed it. “You know what, Honey?” he said. Neither will hers.”

~~~

“Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life.”

Northrup Christiane

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than twenty years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

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