Ray's musings and humor


Ray’s Daily

June 30, 2020


“A smile is happiness you’ll find right under your nose. “

Tom Wilson


These are really tough times for many. Illness, income loss and isolation have taken their toll. It can be devastating if we let today’s challenges take us down. Even during the worst of times, we have each other and even at what seems to be the worst we are better off than most of the world’s folks.

Yes, there are reasons some will go each day with a frown on their face, but that only makes things worse. There are plenty of reasons to smile. When we do it helps us all to feel better. Even if we are wearing a mask, the smile we offer shines through in our eyes and words.

Here is an excerpt from the Live Happier Blog that reminds us why we should smile

Why I believe smiling is paramount in living the happiness lifestyle:

Reverse property – I think there is a technical mathematical expression for this, but basically it states that if something works one way then it will work in reverse as well. e.g. Happy=Smile; Smile=Happy. This works, even though it may not be instantaneously and … you have to want to and some days that can be a real challenge!

Confidence – Smiling makes you feel better about yourself and you are the foundation of you; therefore smiling will help you build self esteem and confidence.

Friendly – Smiling makes you more inviting, which means others are more likely to engage with you in conversation. Not always a great thing for introverts, however; but, it is for this very reason that also makes people more trusting of you and more likely to do business with you or hire you because being around a “frowny face” is a downer. IT OPENS DOORS!

Something as simple as smiling can be a life changer. Think about all the other things you’ve tried in life. Maybe  the only thing you really need to do is smile to live a happier Life.


“A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles.”

William Hazlitt


Beware, these people are in the gene pool and reproducing! Real 911 Calls, believe it or not!!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller: No, I’m wearing a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency? Caller: Fire, I guess. Dispatcher: How can I help you sir? Caller: I was wondering…..does the Fire Dept. put snow chains on their trucks? Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency? Caller: Well, I’ve spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my tires and… well, do you think the Fire Dept. could come over and help me? Dispatcher: Help you what? Caller: Help me get these chains on my car!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it. Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing. Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency? Caller : My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart. Dispatcher: Is this her first child? Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is……….

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn.. I think I’m going to pass out. Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from? Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn…… Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic? Caller: No. Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing? Caller: Running from the Police.


Remember this–that very little is needed to make a happy life.

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus


When I picked up my Ford Escort at the service station after some minor repairs, I paid by check as usual. A couple of weeks later I came home from work to find my wife quite upset. She gave me the silent treatment until I figured out why she was so angry. She had noticed the canceled check, and on the memo line I had written “Escort Service.”


The company I worked for always had problems with interoffice communications.  For instance, last week the Personnel Department sent around a memo on sexual harassment Three people initialed it and six people signed up for it.


A best friend is like a four-leaf clover…. hard to find, and lucky to have.


The Washington Post had a contest wherein participants were asked to tell the younger generation how much harder they had it “in the old days.” Winners, runners-up, and honorable mentions are listed below.

Second Runner-Up:

In my day, we couldn’t afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In winter, we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.

First Runner-Up:

In my day, we didn’t have MTV or in-line skates, or any of that stuff. No, it was 45s and regular old metal-wheeled roller skates, and the 45s always skipped, so to get them to play right you’d weigh the needle down with something like quarters, which we never had because our allowances were way too small, so we’d use our skate keys instead and end up forgetting they were taped to the record player arm so that we couldn’t adjust our skates, which didn’t really matter because those crummy metal wheels would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, and in those days roads had real pebbles on them, not like today.

And the winner:

In my day, we didn’t have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads.

Honorable Mentions:

  • In my day, we didn’t have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes.
  • In my day, we didn’t have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.
  • In my day, we didn’t get that disembodied, slightly ticked-off voice saying ‘Doors closing.’ We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out, it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the next station and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar.
  • In my day, we didn’t have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.
  • Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise.
  • Back in my day, ’60 Minutes’ wasn’t just a bunch of gray-haired, liberal 80-year-old guys. It was a bunch of gray-haired, liberal 60-year-old guys.
  • In my day, we didn’t have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.
  • Back in my day, they hadn’t invented electricity. We had to watch television by candlelight.


“Maman told me that every time you smile, a very tiny bit of the smile stays stuck to your face, so as you get older and older your face starts to show all the tiny bits of all your smiles and you look like you are smiling all the time, even when you are just thinking about what to have for breakfast. She said, also, that if you frown a lot then the frown sticks to your face instead. That way when you are old you have a very frowny face and look cross all the time and people are scared of you.”

Claire King


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.





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