Ray's musings and humor

On my way

Ray’s Daily

June 22, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

If you’re going through hell, keep going.    

Winston Churchill

on my way

I am a semi-new person. I have all my new teeth and can eat normally again. My kids got me a new monitor for my computer that has a much larger screen so I have no problem reading my e-mail. They also got me a scale that use a voice to tell me my weight, so no vision problems there. And if that was not enough my pulmonologist ordered me a new CPAP (breathing machine) that is helping me get a sound sleep.

The good news is I now have limited use of my right hand. It has been a difficult and painful month created by a severe case of the gout. It now seems like it is almost over. I am glad that the hospital and doctor’s visits are behind me, no more shots and less medicines, yippee. While I was on some heavy pain pills the only choice was to keep going, not easy but necessary.

See it through

When you’re up against a trouble,

Meet it squarely, face to face;

Lift your chin and set your shoulders,

Plant your feet and take a brace.

When it’s vain to try to dodge it,

Do the best that you can do;

You may fail, but you may conquer,

See it through!

 

Black may be the clouds about you

And your future may seem grim,

But don’t let your nerve desert you;

Keep yourself in fighting trim.

If the worst is bound to happen,

Spite of all that you can do,

Running from it will not save you,

See it through!

 

Even hope may seem but futile,

When with troubles you’re beset,

But remember you are facing

Just what other men have met.

You may fail, but fall still fighting;

Don’t give up, whate’er you do;

Eyes front, head high to the finish.

See it through!

Edgar Guest

~~~

If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.

H.G. Wells

~~~

Most people deserve each other.

All the good ones, no matter what it is, are taken.

The one who snores will fall asleep first.

The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount of money spent on the wedding.

The gifts you buy your spouse are never as good and apropos as the gifts your neighbor buys their spouse.

Never get overly excited about a man/woman by just the way they look from behind.

If you help a relative in need, he/she will remember you the next time they are in need.

The probability of meeting someone you know increases greatly when you are out with someone you do not want to be seen with.

Toothaches always start on Friday night right before the weekend when the Dental Office will be closed.

~~~

“The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”

George Carlin

~~~

She said: My husband and I were watching some TV show the other night where the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband to see if he were in fact “cheating” on her. My husband asked me if I would ever do that.

I said, “Well not so much to find out who the other woman was, but to see if I could find out what she saw in you.”

~~~

According to a new poll, women are much better liars than men.

At least that’s what THEY say… but they could be lying.

~~~

A man is lost in the desert.  He used up the last of his water three days ago and he’s lying, gasping, on the sand, when in the distance he suddenly hears a voice calling “Mush! Mush!”

Not trusting his ears he turns his head and there it is again, closer this time — “Mush! Mush!”

Propping himself up on one elbow he squints against the sun and sees, of all things, an Eskimo in a fur coat driving a sled with a team of huskies across the dunes.  Thinking that it’s a hallucination, he blinks and shakes his head, but it’s for real!  He painfully lifts one arm and in a cracked voice calls, “He-elp!”

The Eskimo pulls the sled up by him, the huskies panting in the heat, and he says to the Eskimo, “I don’t know what you’re doing here, or why, but thank God you are!  I’ve been wandering around this desert for days, my water’s all gone and I’m completely lost!”

The perspiring Eskimo looks down at him and says, “You think YOU’RE lost!”

~~~

Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.

~~~

“What happened to you?” asked the bystander of the man lying on the sidewalk outside of the beauty parlor. The man shook his head groggily and rubbed his bruised chin.

“Last thing I remember was my wife came out of the beauty salon.  I took a look at her and said, ‘Well, Honey, at least you tried,’ and then it was lights out.”

~~~

She said: – Do Not Start With Me. You Will Not Win.

~~~

Important Warnings

On the “CycleAware” helmet-mounted mirror: “Remember: Objects in the mirror are actually behind you.”

On a large folding cardboard sunshade for car windscreens: “Do not attempt to operate vehicle with sunshade in place.”

On a car lock which loops around both the clutch pedal and the steering wheel: “Warning – Remove lock before driving.”

In the instructions for a Korean kitchen knife: “Keep out of children.”

On a packet of juggling balls: “This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA.”

On a packet of Nytol sleeping tablets: “Warning: may cause drowsiness.”

On a packet of peanuts served on an internal flight in China (written in both English and Chinese): “Open packet and eat contents.”

On 500g packets of Sainsbury’s peanuts: “Contains nuts.”

~~~

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: “Too many deer were being hit by cars” and he didn’t want them to cross there anymore.

~~~

You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.

Maya Angelou

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

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Comments on: "On my way" (1)

  1. I love your resilience

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