Ray's musings and humor

Archive for May, 2020

Hamg in there

Ray’s Daily

May 14, 2020


Fall seven times and stand up eight.

Japanese Proverb

Never give up

These days it is easy for some to jettison their dreams and just give up. Many of us are currently job less, others have lost so much income they have had to downsize. These times can be  depressing, especially with naysayers predicting a bleak future.

I am glad that so many of you have learned not to give up. We have weathered a depression, many recessions and a number of wars and always bounced back. The secret; perseverance, optimism and the commitment to achieve.

Just think where tis rancher would have ended up if he let the teacher destroy his dream.

Keep Your Dream

I have a friend named Monty Roberts who owns a horse ranch in San Ysidro. He has let me use his house to put on fund-raising events to raise money for youth at risk programs.

The last time I was there he introduced me by saying, “I want to tell you why I let Jack use my house. It all goes back to a story about a young man who was the son of an itinerant horse trainer who would go from stable to stable, race track to race track, farm to farm and ranch to ranch, training horses. As a result, the boy’s high school career was continually interrupted. When he was a senior, he was asked to write a paper about what he wanted to be and do when he grew up.

That night he wrote a seven-page paper describing his goal of someday owning a horse ranch. He wrote about his dream in great detail and he even drew a diagram of a 200-acre ranch, showing the location of all the buildings, the stables and the track. Then he drew a detailed floor plan for a 4,000-square-foot house that would sit on a 200-acre dream ranch.

He put a great deal of his heart into the project and the next day he handed it in to his teacher. Two days later he received his paper back. On the front page was a large red F with a note that read, `See me after class.’

The boy with the dream went to see the teacher after class and asked, `Why did I receive an F?’

The teacher said, `This is an unrealistic dream for a young boy like you. You have no money. You come from an itinerant family. You have no resources. Owning a horse ranch requires a lot of money. You have to buy the land. You have to pay for the original breeding stock and later you’ll have to pay large stud fees. There’s no way you could ever do it.’ Then the teacher added, `If you will rewrite this paper with a more realistic goal, I will reconsider your grade.’

The boy went home and thought about it long and hard. He asked his father what he should do. His father said, `Look, son, you have to make up your own mind on this. However, I think it is a very important decision for you.’ Finally, after sitting with it for a week, the boy turned in the same paper, making no changes at all.

He stated, ‘You can keep the F and I’ll keep my dream.’”

Monty then turned to the assembled group and said, “I tell you this story because you are sitting in my 4,000-square-foot house in the middle of my 200-acre horse ranch. I still have that school paper framed over the fireplace.” He added, “The best part of the story is that two summers ago that same schoolteacher brought 30 kids to camp out on my ranch for a week.” When the teacher was leaving, he said, ‘Look, Monty, I can tell you this now. When I was your teacher, I was something of a dream stealer. During those years I stole a lot of kids’ dreams. Fortunately you had enough gumption not to give up on yours.’”


Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

Thomas Edison


The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for generations. Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren.

One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. “I just got some news, Mom,” he said. “The government has come to an agreement with the people in Washington. They’ve decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?”

“What do I think?” his mother said. “Jump at it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don’t think I could stand another one of these Canadian winters!”


Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn’t music.

William Stafford


A New Yorker taking a drive in the country happened upon a farmer feeding his pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig in his arms, hold it up to the branches of a tree and wait while the animal ate an apple. He would then move the pig from one apple to another until it was satisfied.

The city man watched this procedure for some time, then finally said to the farmer, “This seems an inefficient way of feeding your pigs. Why don’t you simply shake the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground? That would sure save a lot of time.”

The farmer looked puzzled, then shrugged and replied, “What’s time to a pig?”


“That’s what it takes to be a hero, a little gem of innocence inside you that makes you want to believe that there still exists a right and wrong, that decency will somehow triumph in the end”

Lise Hand


A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, “Honey, are you ready yet?”

Shouting back, the woman replies, “For crying out loud, I’ve been telling you for the last half hour that I’ll be ready in a minute!


I’m addicted to placebos. I’d give them up, but it wouldn’t’ make any difference.

Steven Wright


Jack hadn’t been to a class reunion in decades. When he walked into this latest one, he thought he recognized a woman over in the corner, so he approached her and extended his hand in greeting, saying,

“You look like Helen Brown.”

“Well,” the woman snapped back, “you don’t look so great in blue either!”


Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.

William Feather


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.




What are you going to do?

Ray’s Daily

May 13, 2020


Have you noticed how many people are so busy doing nothing that they never have enough time to do something?

We don’t have to regret what we didn’t do if we start now to do the things we may have missed.


Looking Ahead

I have a busy day today topped off with a preliminary visit to the oral surgeon that is going to work on me soon. After the extractions my Dentist will build me a new bridge to replace the one I broke. So here we go again a Daily from the past.


Ray’s Daily published on May 13, 2005


If I had my life to live over I’d like to make more mistakes next time. I’d relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual trouble, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones. You see, I’m one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day.

Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have. If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds, I would pick more daisies.

Nadine Stair


Life offers two great gifts–time, and the ability to choose how we spend it.

Planning is a process of choosing among those many options.

If we do not choose to plan, then we choose to have others plan for us.

Richard I. Winword



* Home is where you hang your @.

* The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.

* A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.

* You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks.

* Don’t put all your hypes in one home page.

* The modem is the message.

* Too many clicks spoil the browse.

* The geek shall inherit the earth.

* A chat has nine lives.

* Don’t byte off more than you can view.

* Fax is stranger than fiction.

* What boots up must come down.

* Windows will never cease.

* Virtual reality is its own reward.

* Modulation in all things.

* A user and his leisure time are soon parted.

* Know what to expect before you connect.

* Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.

* Speed thrills.


Wife to bill-paying husband:  “I slashed expenses last month.  Everything was charged on one credit card so that it will cost only one stamp to pay all of our bills.”


Little Sam was out shopping with his mother, something he didn’t like very much. But when they passed a toy store, Sam came to life. He saw a new toy in the window that he didn’t have but wanted. Sam begged, pleaded and nagged but to no avail. He got so rude that his mother firmly said, “I’m very sorry Sam, but we didn’t come out to buy you a toy.”

Sam angrily said, “I’ve never met a woman as mean as you.”

Holding his hand gently, she replied, “Sam, darling, one day you’ll get married and then you will … you really will, I promise you.”


After the funeral the Rabbi said, “I don’t think you’ll ever find another man like your late husband Morris.”

The widow replied, “So who’s looking for one?”


At the beginning of the grandparents’ class I teach, I ask participants if they would share the very first feelings they had when they learned they were going to be grandparents.

Most people say they were happy and excited. During one class, however, an expectant grandmother blurted, “I just hated it! I finally knew for certain that my daughter was having sex.”


We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.

-Anne Frank


A cyclone hit a Kansas farmhouse just before dawn one morning.

It tore off the roof, and picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept were sleeping.  By some miracle, the cyclone set them down unharmed the next county over.

The wife was sobbing uncontrollably.  “Don’t be scared, Mary,” her husband said.  “We’re not hurt.”

Mary continued to cry.  “I’m not scared,” she said between sobs.  “I’m happy…  this is the first time in 14 years we’ve been out together.”


Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.

Erica Jong


Jill had applied for a job, and when she returned home, her mother asked how the interview went.

Jill replied, “Pretty good I think, but if I go to work there I won’t get a vacation unless I’m married.”

Her mother, of course, had never heard of such a thing and asked, “Is that what they told you?

Jill replied, “No, they didn’t tell me that, but on the application it said, “Vacation time may not be taken until you’ve had your first anniversary.”


Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Mark Twain


An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to a farmer.  “Look at it this way.” he said finally.  “How would your wife carry on if you should die?”

“Well…” drawled the weather-beaten man, “I don’t reckon that’d be any concern of mine — long as she behaves herself while I’m alive.”


Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it.

Leonardo Da Vinci


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.




Are You Ready?

Ray’s Daily

May 12, 2020


“Let go of certainty. The opposite isn’t uncertainty. It’s openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.”

Tony Schwartz


I wonder what our new normal is going to be. I doubt that it will ever again be like it was just a few months ago. I fear that those of us who would like everything to be what it was are going to be disappointed.

In reality it is not as important what it becomes as it is how we deal with it. We are all capable of being happy in the days ahead if we place the past in memory and open ourselves to adapt to the future.

Here is something I got from Angel Chernoff that I really like and want to share with you.

Twenty years ago, when Marc and I were just undergrads in college, our psychology professor taught us a lesson we’ve never forgotten. On the last day of class before graduation, she walked up on stage to teach one final lesson, which she called “a vital lesson on the power of perspective and mindset.” As she raised a glass of water over her head, everyone expected her to mention the typical “glass half empty or glass half full” metaphor. Instead, with a smile on her face, our professor asked, “How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?”

Students shouted out answers ranging from a couple of ounces to a couple of pounds.

After a few moments of fielding answers and nodding her head, she replied, “From my perspective, the absolute weight of this glass is irrelevant. It all depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light. If I hold it for an hour straight, its weight might make my arm ache. If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will likely cramp up and feel completely numb and paralyzed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor. In each case, the absolute weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me.”

As most of us students nodded our heads in agreement, she continued. “Your worries, frustrations, disappointments, and stressful thoughts are very much like this glass of water. Think about them for a little while and nothing drastic happens. Think about them a bit longer and you begin to feel noticeable pain. Think about them all day long, and you will feel completely numb and paralyzed, incapable of doing anything else until you drop them.”

Think about how this relates to your life.

If you’ve been struggling to cope with the weight of what’s on your mind, it’s a strong sign that it’s time to put the glass down.

It’s time to let GO…

At our annual live seminar, Think Better, Live Better, Marc and I guide attendees through this process of perspective change—and letting go through life’s twists and turns.

Truth be told, inner peace begins the moment you take a new breath and choose not to allow an uncontrollable event to dominate you in the present. You are not what happened to you. You are what you choose to become in this moment. Let go, breathe, and begin…


“We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.”



(No animals were hurt in making this joke!)

Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. “Doctor,” he said, “I need you to cut off my dog’s tail.”

The vet stepped back, “Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?”

“Because my mother-in-law’s arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcome.”


Some think it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.

Sylvia Robinson


Mary:  I wish I’d known more about midlife before I got here!

Jill:  What do you mean?

Mary:  Well, I lost my sex drive years ago.  I had no idea it could be menopause!  I thought it was just because I was married!


Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don’t.

Pete Seeger


Overheard at the senior center:

You know you’re getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

Old age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.

Old age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends. What must hell possibly be like? Home videos of the same reunion?

Being a senior adult is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

You know you’re into old age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

You’re getting old when you’re sitting in a rocker and you can’t get it started.


Do you ever wonder how the size of hail was described before the game of golf was invented?


A class from a nearby university was visiting a major drug manufacturer. The tour guide led the students to a glass enclosed room. They could see several people in white lab coats. With her back to the glass, the guide announced:

“In this room researchers are actively searching for a cure for cancer.” She stopped short as the group broke out laughing. Puzzled, the guide turned to look. Through the glass she saw three scientists in animated debate, flipping through the Yellow Pages.


Old age, to the unlearned, is winter; to the learned, it’s harvest time.

Yiddish saying


Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”

To which the gentleman said, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”


“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”

Steve Maraboli


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



A New Start

Ray’s Daily

May 11, 2020


The most important thing is to enjoy your life — to be happy. It’s all that matters.

Audrey Hepburn

Don't worry

Last week I spent a lot of time reminiscing. The more I thought about my past life I again realized that the happiest moments were those I shared with others. We are sometimes told that the journey is where good things happen and they are more valuable then reaching the goal.

I think in my case that is true. We now face a new era and must learn to live in a changed world. I will do that by concentrating on my relationships with others. I will not be able to travel or spend time on new adventures. But what I can do is collect new highlights by spending time with others. It will be back to the basics, but that is a good place to be.

Here is an article that offers tips on finding your happiness.


Four Steps To Find True Happiness In Your Life

BY Paula Black

  1. Define happiness on your terms.

Your happiness is not the same as anyone else’s happiness. What makes me happy might not make you happy. And vice versa! So the first step in finding happiness in your life is simply defining what happiness looks like for you.

Let’s dream for a moment. Imagine that money is not an obstacle and that fear can’t hold you back. What would your life look like?

Would you travel? Where would you go? What would your family time look like? What type of work would you do? Who would you spend your time with?

Make a list of what your dream life would look like. That is a powerful clue as to what happiness looks like for you.

  1. Focus on what’s going right.

It’s very easy for us to get caught up in the weeds of life: the frustrations, annoyances and challenges. But the truth is, if you really stop and think about it, you’ll probably realize that there’s a whole lot to love about your life.

Take some time right now to focus on those things. What are five things you like about your professional life? What are five things you like about your life outside of work?

Pretty great, right?

We have so much to be grateful for. And it’s so important to focus on gratitude because that helps us to find happiness in our lives today, instead of getting tripped up by the little weeds that pop up and drag us down.

  1. Make you a priority.

As I tell my clients, if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others, period. As flight attendants across the world instruct us, in case of emergency, put on your oxygen mask first, and then help those around you.

You have to take care of yourself. Listen to your body. Stop working and take a break when you need it. Give yourself enough time to sleep (I know, easier said than done, but sleep is so important). Get serious about nutrition. Make time for the people, places and things that energize and inspire you.

  1. Redefine failure.

Failure is a terrifying word for most of us. But it shouldn’t be. The fear of failure is one of the biggest things that holds us back from pursuing true happiness in our lives. Starting today, I want you to look at this through a different lens. Failure doesn’t exist! It’s just life moving you in a different direction.

Find Your Happiness I want you to find your happiness. It starts by defining what happiness looks like for you. Make a conscious effort to focus on what’s going right in your life. Take care of yourself; put your own oxygen mask on first. And finally, redefine failure so that fear can’t hold you back.


Roll with the punches and enjoy every minute of it.

Meghan Markle


She said: My husband, Michael, and I were at a restaurant with his boss, a rather stern older man. When Michael began a tale, which I was sure he had told before, I gave him a kick under the table. There was no response, so I gave him another poke. Still the story went on.

Suddenly he stopped, grinned and said, “Oh, but I’ve told you this one before, haven’t I?”

We all chuckled and changed the subject. Later, on the dance floor, I asked my husband why it had taken him so long to get my message.

“What do you mean?” he replied. “I cut the story off as soon as you kicked me.”

“But I kicked you twice and it still took you awhile to stop!”

Suddenly we realized what had happened. Sheepishly we returned to our table. The boss smiled and said, “Don’t worry. After the second one I figured it wasn’t for me, so I passed it along!”


The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool.

George Santayana


I was setting up a large, cast aluminum, decorative sundial in my yard that I had purchased from a garden catalog.

A neighbor, an old Florida fellow, was leaning on the fence watching my progress and asked, “What the heck’s that for?”

I explained, “It’s a sundial. See, the sun will hit that small triangular spike and cast a shadow on the face of the sundial. Then, as the sun moves across the sky, the shadow also moves across the calibrated dial, enabling a person to determine the correct time.”

My neighbor shook his head and muttered, “Huh, what will they think of next?!”


What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.

Yiddish proverb


Walpole had lived in his loft for six months, and by now it was filled with the paintings he had created. He worked day and night, stopping only occasionally for something to eat. He thought little about food and less about sleep. But what he thought about least of all was his rent. As a result, his landlord now stood before him, demanding the three months’ rent Walpole owed on the loft.

“Give me a couple of weeks,” Walpole pleaded. “I know I’m on the verge of making some sales.”

“Absolutely not,” the landlord said. “You gave me that story last month. You won’t get another day’s credit from me.”

“Look,” Walpole said, “think of it as an investment. Someday this loft will be famous, and you’ll be able to charge a fortune for it. In a few years, people will come into this disgusting loft and whisper, ‘Walpole used to paint here.'”

“Pay your rent now,” the landlord said, “or they’ll be able to say it tomorrow morning.”


For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press 3.

Alice Kahn


A woman rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items. She headed for the express line where the clerk was talking on the phone with his back turned to her.

“Excuse me,” she said. “I’m in a hurry. Could you check me out, please?”

The clerk turned, stared at her for a second, looked her up and down, smiled and said, “Not bad.”


Work: It isn’t just for sleeping anymore.


My dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my mom would be like.

It seems the minister asked my mom, “Do you take this man to be your husband?”

And she said, “I do.”

Then the minister asked my dad, “Do you take this woman to be your wife?” And my mom said, “He does.”


Life leaps like a geyser for those willing to drill through the rock of inertia.


One Sunday morning when my son was about 5, we were attending a church in our community. It was common for the preacher to invite the children to the front of the church and have a small lesson before beginning the sermon. He would bring in an item they could find around the house and relate it to a teaching from the Bible. This particular morning, the visual aid for his lesson was a smoke detector. He asked the children if anyone knew what it meant when an alarm sounded from the smoke detector. My child immediately raised his hand and said, “It means Daddy’s cooking dinner.”


“Happiness consists more in conveniences of pleasure that occur everyday than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom.”

– Benjamin Franklin


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.




Have You Met Yourself?

Ray’s Daily

May 8, 2020


Although men are accused of not knowing their own weakness, yet perhaps few know their own strength. It is in men as in soils, where sometimes there is a vein of gold which the owner knows not of.

Jonathan Swift

Do you know

Ray’s Daily published on May 8, 2006

I have been surprised to find out how few of us know who we are. We talk about what we have done, the nature of our jobs, the schools we have attended, the size and nature of our families, but not many of us know who we really are. Too often we take for granted the very things that make us special. Things like our love of others, the joy we get from hard work, our eye for beauty, our perseverance, our loyalty, our intelligence, our wisdom, our sense of adventure, and on and on and on.

I spend many hours listening to people think through their lives and in almost every case we find a seed that was planted in their youth that has grown to the point that it has become their nature today. It might have been their innate friendliness, their curiosity, or some other behavior that has grown through the years and that has become so normal to them that they overlook how much it defines who they are. Of course, we are the product of not just one thing but the aggregate of many things, all that add up to be who we are.

I honestly believe that self-knowledge is the ultimate key to happiness. Unfortunately, however, we think in such broad terms that we don’t see the important details. As an example, I like to travel. Cruising is travel, hiking is travel, seeing new sights is part of travel, and meeting new people is also part of the travel experience. For me I like to cruise, see new sights and meet new people, but hiking, forget it, it is not for me. It is the same for most things, we like people, who, all people? People who think the way we do? People who stimulate our interest? If I can define what I like, I can look for it.

One way to find out about yourself is to write down the year that you were 15 years old, and then write down the date of each year since. It might be 1955, 1956, 1957,…….1005, 2006. Once you have made the list spend time thinking back to that year, what were you doing? What did you like? What problems did you have? And anything else you can remember. Jot down a few notes and move on to the next year. When you are done I can almost guarantee you that you will find patterns, likes and dislikes, and more that will surprise you. It will detail who you are, and it also may very well tell you how to identify the things that give your life meaning. All you have to gain is a happier life ahead.


The most successful people are those who don’t have any illusions about who they are. They know themselves well and they can move in the direction of their best talents. They know the kind of culture they thrive in and how they can benefit from that culture. Unfortunately, most people don’t understand themselves. Most people don’t want to lose their illusions about themselves, although they say they want to take charge of their career.

Bud Bray


A Jewish father was concerned about his son who was about a year away from his Bar Mitzvah but was sorely lacking in his knowledge of the Jewish faith. To remedy this, he sent his son to Israel to experience his heritage. A year later the young man returned home.

“Father, thank you for sending me to the land of our Fathers,” the son said. “It was wonderful and enlightening, however, I must confess that while in Israel I converted to Christianity.”

“Oi vey,” replied the father, “what have I done.” So in the tradition of the patriarchs, he went to his best friend and sought his advice and solace.

“It is amazing that you should come to me,” stated his friend, “I too sent my son to Israel and he returned a Christian.”

So in the tradition of the patriarchs they went to the Rabbi. “It is amazing that you should come to me,” stated the Rabbi, “I too sent my son to Israel and he returned a Christian. What is happening

to our sons?”

“Brothers, we must take this to the Lord,” said the Rabbi.

They fell to their knees and began to wail and pour out their hearts to the Almighty. As they prayed the clouds opened and a mighty voice stated, “Amazing that you should come to Me. I, too, sent My Son to Israel…”


Question: Why don’t retirees mind being called Seniors?

Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.


He:  I have a complaint, dear.

She:  What is it, darling?

He:  We’ve been married twenty-five years and you still correct me every time I open my mouth, dear.

She:  Twenty-six years, darling.


People will believe anything if you whisper it.


Tower: “United 702, cleared for takeoff, contact departure on 124.7.”

United 702: “Tower, United 702 switching to departure …by the way, after we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.”

Tower: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff. Contact departure on 124.7; did you copy the report from United?”

Continental 635: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied United. We’ve already notified our caterers.”


If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.


She said: My husband and I have our two mothers sharing a double room in our community seniors’ home. One is 96, mentally alert, but has little sight; the other is 90, in good health, but is often confused and totally devoid of memory retention or recall. Together, they complement each other’s handicaps and help each other: one relates the messages; the other relates the vision.

While out on a drive one day, my mother was describing the passing scene, and said to my mother-in-law, “Too bad you aren’t able to see all this.”

My mother-in-law quickly replied: “That’s all right. At least I’ll remember where I’ve been.”


Love is blind — and it’s not too bright, either.


The minister gave his Sunday morning service, as usual, but this particular Sunday, it was considerably longer than normal.

Later, at the door, shaking hands with parishioners as they filed out, one man said,

“Your sermon, Pastor, was simply wonderful – so invigorating and inspiring and refreshing.”

The minister of course, broke out in a big smile, only to hear the man add, “Why I felt like a new man when I woke up!”


I wonder how long I would be on hold if my call WASN’T important to them?


Morris realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money. “How much do they cost?” he asked the salesperson.

“That depends,” he said. “They run from $2.00 to $2,000.”

“Let’s see the $2.00 model,” said Morris the miser.

The salesperson put the device around Morris’ neck. “You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket,” he instructed.

“How does it work?” , asked Morris.

“For $2.00 it doesn’t work,” the salesperson replied. “But when people see it on you, they’ll talk louder.”


“The difference between great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life takes them next. The difference between the two is the difference between living fully and just existing.”

Michael E. Gerber


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.




Must it be this way?

Ray’s Daily

May 7, 2020


We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.

Stacia Tauscher


Ray’s Daily published on May 7, 2002

This is truly a big week for us. The UN is going into special session in New York to hear the progress that has been made in the ten plus years since the global Summit for Children. There have been some significant successes, our effort to eliminate iodine deficiency is one of them. But there are still many challenges ahead and I am hoping that the heads of state and senior government leaders from around the world attending will rise to the challenge.

Every day I learn more about how devastating the warfare that is going on in various parts of the world is on children. We have all heard of kids killed in crossfire, kids losing limbs because of landmines, thousands dying of malnutrition, but there is more. Kids are dying from measles because health workers can’t reach them to give them the shots they need, polio persists in around 30 countries because kids are kept from receiving inoculations. Kids are forced into armies when they can barley hold a gun. They deserve better, they deserve a chance.

I have a number of friends and colleagues who will be in New York for meetings associated with the special session, and Kiwanis will have representatives in the audience at the general assembly. I wish I was with them, but I know their commitment to children is great.

I often wonder if we don’t care, why should anyone else care. The trauma created in the lives of children of the world will have devastating effect on the world in which my grandchildren will reside in the years ahead. I owe to them to do what I can.

Oh by the way I talked to a friend in the Philippines, our Kiwanis International President-designate, this morning and he told me to say hi to the queen when I am in London this weekend, I hope I can fit her in to my schedule.


He who merely knows right principles is not equal to him who loves them.



Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”

Customer: “Ok.”

Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

Tech Support: “Ok.  Right click again.  Do you see a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

Tech Support: “Ok, sir.  Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”

Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote click’.”


You’re getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn’t do anything the night before.


They have found, at the base of Mount Horeb, an ancient cave, unopened for three thousand years. Apparently this cavern was used by the Israelites to store and repair all the army’s rolling stock. There were hundreds of vehicles in all stages of repair that will keep archaeologists busy for years.

On of the mysteries was a container holding dozens of pieces of parchment that were apparently made to be carried on an upright spear into battle. The parchments were rolled into separate groups and, when the language scholars deciphered them they fell into several distinct groups — each containing a similar set of words.

The group with the most banners was a thick one with the same words on each. These apparently proclaimed, “Shout Huzzah if you love Moses.

Another group had wording which showed the Israelites grasp of the calendar, as they said, “In the name of Cain, Celebrate National Brotherhood Week.”

There were some that were apparently done to remind the people of the wrath of God, as they were printed with the slogan, “If you can see Sodom, you’re too darned close.”

It is amazing to find how safety minded the ancient people were. There were several banners which bore the writing, “Remember Goliath: support the ban on unlicensed slingshots.”

Finally, to indicate how the Israelites revered their elders, they found many banners that simply said, “In the name of Methuselah — be kind to senior citizens.”


The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

Josh Billings


A Jewish gentleman stood before a delicatessen display counter and pointed to a tray. “I’ll have a pound of that salmon,” he said.

“That’s not salmon,” the clerk said, “it’s ham.”

“Mister,” the customer snapped, “in case nobody ever told you, you got a big mouth!”


“I tell ya, my wife, we get along good cause we have our own arrangement. I mean, one night a week I go out with the boys and one night a week, she goes out with the boys.”

Rodney Dangerfield


The sermon had been going on too long, and the Minister should have been able to see the congregation getting more than a little restless; he droned on none-the-less for yet another 15 minutes.  Finally he paused and said, “What else can I say Brothers and Sisters?”

“How about ‘Amen’ Preacher?” said a hungry soul from the rear of the Church.


An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair.  One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”


The restaurant was so bad, the doggie bags had a warning: Not for consumption by real dogs.


Harry Epstein was downtown with his wife and four little children when he decided to take a taxicab home.

Approaching a cab driver, he demanded, “How much will you charge to drive us to the Bronx?”

“I figure $2 apiece for you and your wife,” said the driver. “I’ll take the four kids along for nothing.”

Harry Epstein turned to his children and said, “Jump in kids, and have a nice ride home. Momma and I will take the subway.”


Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.


I am passing this on to you because, I think I have found inner peace.

I read an article that said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish things I had started.

Today I finished two bags of potato chips, a chocolate pie, a bottle of wine, and a box of chocolate candy.

I feel better already.


Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.



Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.




Take Time For Yourself

Ray’s Daily

May 6, 2020


Sometimes it’s important to work for that pot of gold.  But other times it’s essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow.

Douglas Pagels


Ray’s Daily first published on May 6, 2005

I honestly think the real secret to success, both on the job and in life is the ability to just stop, drop out, and spend a little time with and for yourself. Later this morning I will be having breakfast with someone who is an achiever, she is dedicated, works hard and does good things, unfortunately never taking enough time for herself.

You know the feeling, I will be able to take some time this weekend, or after this project, or as soon as things lighten up. Lo and behold the weeks and months go by with no relief. The sad part is that most of us do much better when we keep things in balance, take some time for ourselves, and just rest once in awhile. I know it was always easier to come back to work than it was to never leave it. Maybe what a guy by the name of Will Pate wrote recently will help those who could use a reason to lighten up.


After 8 months as an entrepreneur I’m ready to give up on trying to squeeze more working hours out of the day. I’m absolutely convinced of the value of rest and recreation time. Without proper R&R the human mind experiences the law of diminishing returns; you simply cannot get more than 8 good hours of work out of a day. Intellectual and creative atrophy set in and work gets sloppy, details are missed and little overall progress is made. It’s a question of quality over quantity.

If I had a meeting the next day, I used to stay up as late as it took to get the work necessary done and then drag my corpse out of bed as late as possible the next day. Practice proved this was a bad idea. Now I do some personal reading, listen to something pleasing and drift off to sleep earlier than the returning bar hound. I get up early, do a little blog reading to get myself into the mental groove and start working. If inspiration strikes I do a little blogging as I sip (instead of chugging) coffee and listen to CBC Radio 3. I cut off work around 5 or 6 and then avoid the computer for the rest of the evening.

Weekends can be a chance for deeper renewal. This past weekend I went on a spiritual retreat, properly dubbed the “Weekend of Awesome”. Sure I lost some sleep but I made new friends, grew closer with older buds and played video games until my fingers hurt. The entire weekend I made a resolution to keep work out of my mind. Consequently, I’ve never been more ready to start the work week on a Monday morning.


Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.



What to say to phone solicitors who call to sell you credit cards, vacation packages, etc.:

The police photographer is still here, and the county medical examiner hasn’t released the body to the coroner yet. Can you call back a little later?

What’s that you say? Speak up, please, will you? The battery has run down on my hearing aid. Louder, please, louder. Is that the best you can do? I’m afraid we’re just not communicating.

I’m gonna have to put you on hold. The baby is due any minute now. Quick someone, get some hot water. Lots of it. Sorry, gotta hurry now, don’t go away.

Oh, it’s you again. I was hoping you’d call back. The better business people said I need more positive identification to file my complaint.  Now first let me have your name and telephone number…


There is more to life than increasing its speed. –

Mahatma Gandhi



  1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonalds
  2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tried to do
    3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage
    4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with
    5. CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate
    6. COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
    7. ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living
    8. EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist
    9. HEROES: What a guy in a boat does
    10. LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money
    11. MISTY: How golfers create divots
    12. PARADOX: Two physicians
    13. PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
    14. PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm
    15. POLARIZE: What penguins see with
    16. PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV
    17. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring
    18. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife
    19. SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does
    20. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official


The younger we are the more we want to change the world.  The older we are the more we want to change the young.


An attendant on a cross-country flight nervously announced: “I don’t know how this happened, but we have 103 passengers aboard and only 40 dinners.” When the passengers’ muttering had died down, she continued, “Anyone who is kind enough to give up his meal so someone else can eat will receive free drinks for the length of the flight.”

Her next announcement came an hour later.  “If anyone wants to change his mind, we still have 29 dinners available!”


Whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; hate less, love more; and all good things are yours.

Swedish Proverb


A voice on the office loudspeaker announced: “We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it will work properly in case of emergency. If you are unable to hear this announcement, please contact us.


Joyce:   I’ve been asked to get married hundreds of times.

Gloria:  (surprised) really?!  By whom?

Joyce:  My parents.


A man walked into a restaurant in a strange town. The waiter came and asked him for his order. Feeling lonely, he replied, “Meat loaf and a kind word.”

When the waiter returned with the meat loaf, the man said, “Where’s the good word?”

The waiter put down the meat loaf and sighed, bent down, and whispered, “Don’t eat the meat loaf.”


If The Phone Don’t Ring, You’ll Know It’s Me


It was a difficult subject to bring before his aged mother, but Morris felt that he must.  “Mom, you are no longer a spring chicken and you do need to think ahead of what will happen in the future.  Why don’t we make arrangements about when….. you know… when…. God Forbid …you pass on?”

The mother didn’t say anything, just sat there staring ahead.

“I mean, Momma, like…. how do you want to finally go? To be buried? Cremated?”

There was yet another long pause.  Then the mother looked up and said, “Son, why don’t you simply surprise me?”


A poor life this if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

William Henry Davies


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.






It’s Never Too Late

Ray’s Daily

May 5, 2020


The time for action is now.

It’s never too late to do something.

Carl Sandburg

Stop Waiting

Ray’s Daily first published on May 5, 2004

 Since fully retiring I have learned just how important Sandburg’s message is to those of us who have the ability to choose how we spend our time. I only wish I had taken his advice more seriously early in life. I cannot remember a period as full and rewarding as now. Possibly it is because I have not learned all the reasons why not, it seems that more is achievable than I ever thought possible. Maybe I am in my second childhood, if so I would recommend it to everyone.

I never would have thought that I would be able to participate in the rewards ceremonies at our region’s Special Olympics, work at an Art Fair helping people find out where they can buy great products made by third world artisans, help at a community outreach programs that will match volunteers with sixty of our local non-profit organizations, or help to secure what is needed to build a world class international facility here in my city. The list goes on and on. Yesterday I attended a seminar on China, signed up for a number of lectures and events that run the gamut from Ancient History, a Vaudeville retrospective, global issues discussion groups, to an evaluation of TV news in the 21st century, and more. In addition almost every week includes a service project or two. But the best part of my days are meeting with old and new friends over breakfast or lunch and getting with you via the daily.

Our cruises are exciting, our adventure trips are exciting, our visits to other countries is exciting, and best of all most days here are exciting. So give yourself a break today go out and play and do some good at the same time.


Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.

Chinese Proverb


Every morning Custer rode through the Indian Reservation on his horse accompanied by his faithful Indian scout. And every morning as he rode past the Indian chief he was greeted with the gesture of first a finger raised vertically – then the finger thrust horizontally.

Eventually Custer said to his scout “I know what the chief means by the vertical finger, but what’s the significance of the horizontal one?”

The scout replied “Chief, him no like your horse either!”


Noah was a trusting soul. Imagine going out in a wooden boat with two termites on board.


What we say, what we mean

Project slightly behind original schedule due to unforeseen difficulties–We got so sick of working on this that we decided to do something else.

Major Technological Breakthrough–Back to the drawing board.

Developed after years of intensive research–It was discovered by accident.

Customer satisfaction is believed assured–We are so far behind schedule that the customer will be happy to get anything at all from us.

The design will be finalized in the next reporting period–We haven’t started this job yet, but we’ve got to say something.

Test results were extremely gratifying–It works, and are we surprised.

Extensive effort is being applied on a fresh approach to the problem–We just hired three new guys; we’ll let them kick it around for a while.

Preliminary operational tests are inconclusive–The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.

The entire concept will have to be abandoned–The only guy who understood the thing quit.

Modifications are under way to correct certain minor difficulties–We threw the whole thing out and are starting from scratch.


If you wait for tomorrow, tomorrow comes. If you don’t wait for tomorrow, tomorrow comes.

African proverb


At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day’s lesson. It was now time for the usual question period.

“Mr. Goldblatt,” announced little Joey, “there’s somethin’ I can’t figger out.”

“What’s that Joey?” asked Goldblatt.

“Well accordin’ to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?”


“An’ the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?”


“An’ the Children of Israel fought the ‘gyptians, an’ the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an’ the Children of Israel wuz always getting in trouble somewhere, right?”

“Er, yes, you could say that,” agreed Goldblatt. “So what’s your question?”

“What I wanna know is this,” demanded Joey. “What wuz all the grown-ups doin”?


Women have many faults.

Men only have 2

Everything they say,

And everything they do.


Son:  Dad, would you do my arithmetic for me?

Dad:  No, son, it wouldn’t be right.

Son:  Well, at least you could try.


The trouble with current times is that the future is not what it used to be.


This will make you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.

A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family’s 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing two dollars.

Her mother said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar “pay” she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account for her.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, “I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us.”

My goodness gracious,” said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week, too?”

The little girl replied, “I will if those jerks at Home Depot ever deliver the darned sheet rock!”


The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.


To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children, to earn the approbation of honest critics; to appreciate beauty; to give of one’s self, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived–that is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.




I am taking a week’s mental vacation

Ray’s Daily

May 4, 2020

“Remember to light the candle of joy daily and all the gloom will disappear from your life.”

Djwhal Khul

http://rays-daily .com

I am going to take a week’s mental vacation. Rather than focusing on todays problems I will be sending Daily’s from happier days.


Happiness Habit

Good news from two of my Doc’s so far this week. First my urologist said my plumbing is good to go for another year, go being the operative word. Second my crack Pacemaker team told me that all systems are running well so I can now expect to walk more than a few yards without loss of breath, stagger steps or the like, now they will start beating on me to get back into my exercise and weight control mode. I’ll get more state of the body info when I get fondled and probed by my primary physician after she performs my annual physical in a few weeks. Later on the brain folks will look in my head to see how well my aneurism is doing. I feel 100 percent better than I did a month ago, thank you Medicare for keeping me out of the poor house. Ah life is good!

Of course the best part of all this is I can now rejoin you all and experience the joy that is ours for the asking. So soon I’ll be on the road again moving around the city hopefully doing more good than bad and sharing much of what my friends and my city have to offer. As an example a young art teacher friend has invited me to tour the great Indianapolis Museum of Art next week and I know I will enjoy the experience.

You know joy is truly worth acquiring as we move on, it enriches our lives. Our old friend Ralph Marston had this to say about our opportunity to find it.

Add a little joy

Whatever you’re doing, add a little joy to it. After all, you’re much more effective when you’re enjoying the moment you’re in.

It takes only the slightest effort to put a gentle smile on your face. And when you do, you instantly change your perspective to a more empowered one.

You don’t have to wait or beg or hope for joy to come to you. Simply allow joy to flow from you.

Remember that you’re in full control of your own attitude. So choose an attitude that supports you and affirms the positive value of the moment you’re in.

Whatever else the moment may contain, add a little joy to it. Choose to feel what feels best to you.

Add a little joy to each day. And add a lot of beauty to the world.


“Joy springs from within; no one makes you joyous; you choose joyfulness.”

Author Unknown


Politicians have a constant need to be diplomatic. Witness this candidate for the Senate who traveled to a small town community to address the single church there. Unfortunately, he had forgotten to ask which denomination so that when it was time for his speech, he inquired in this way: “My brethren, all. I must tell you that my great Grandfather was Presbyterian (absolute silence); but my Grandmother was an Episcopalian (more silence); I must tell you that my other Grandfather was a Christian Scientist (deep silence); while my other Grandmother was Methodist (continued silence). But I must tell you that I had an aunt who was a Baptist through and through (loud cheers!) and I have always considered my aunt’s path to be the right one!”


“If you think education is expensive, try ignorance!”

Andy McIntyre


A preacher of the old school was describing the events of Judgment Day and, of course, he used Biblical phraseology whenever he could. “Oh, my friends,” he intoned, “imagine the suffering of the sinners as they find themselves cast into the outer darkness, removed from the presence of the Lord and given to eternal flames. My friends, at such a time there will be weeping, wailing and a great gnashing of teeth!” At this point, one of the elders of the congregation interrupted to say, “But Reverend, what if one of those hopeless sinners has no teeth?”

The preacher crashed his fist on the pulpit, “My friends, the Lord is not put out by details. Rest assured… teeth will be provided!”


My Dog Can Lick Anyone


A little girl from Minneapolis came home from Sunday school with a frown on her face. “I’m not going back there anymore,” she announced with finality. “I don’t like the Bible they keep teaching us.”

“Why not?” asked her astonished mother.

“Because,” said the little girl, “that Bible is always talking about St. Paul, and it never once mentions Minneapolis.”


Happiness:  The result of being too busy to be miserable.


A guy goes to the psychiatrist. “Doctor,” says the guy, “I feel as if I’m two different people! Two totally different personalities. Do you think I need help? Can you help me? Am I doing the right thing seeing a psychiatrist?”

“Whoah! Whoah! Whoah!” says the doc. “Please, one at a time.”


I must have told you a zillion times, don’t exaggerate!


They say marriage is a contract. No, it’s not. Contracts come with warrantees. When something goes wrong, you can take it back to the manufacturer. If your husband starts acting up, you can’t take him back to his mama’s house. “I don’t know; he just stopped working. He’s just laying around making a funny noise.”

Wanda Sykes-Hall


Give me a sense of humor, Lord,

Give me the grace to see a joke,

To get some humor out of life

And pass it on to other folk


“We need Joy as we need air.

We need Love as we need water.

We need each other as we need the earth we share.”

Maya Angelou


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.




Don’t Quit

Ray’s Daily

May 1, 2020


“Tough times never last, but tough people do.”

Robert H. Schuller

never give up.pg

As states start to loosen their public health restrictions it is even more important that we do what is best for ourselves. Being in the vulnerable age group with a number of medical problems put my wife and me in the high risk category. So I do not see us leaving our sanctuary any time soon.

While the temptation is great we will persevere and wait for a better time to rejoin society. The following seems to be appropriate for these times.

Stick to it

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill.

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile but you have to sigh.

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As everyone of us sometimes learns.

And many a fellow turns about,

When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don’t give up though the pace seems slow,

You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man.

Often the struggler has given up,

When he might have captured the victor’s cup.

And he learned too late when the night came down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar.

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,

It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.

Author Unknown


“There is no armor like perseverance.”

Sogyal Rinpoche


This essay, by Hugh Gallagher, won first prize in the humor category of the 1990 Scholastic Writing Awards. It appeared in the May issue of Literary Cavalcade, a magazine of contemporary fiction and student writing published by Scholastic in New York City. Gallagher, who is eighteen, grew up in Newtown Square, Pennsylvania, and will attend New York University this fall.



I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention.

I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I can cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international circles.

Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to college.


Last night I dreamt I had insomnia.


It was a sunny Saturday morning on the course and I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualizing my upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker.

“Would the gentleman on the woman’s tee back up to the men’s tee please!!”

I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement, “Would the MAN on the WOMEN’S tee kindly back up to the men’s


I simply ignored the guy and kept concentrating, when once more, the man yelled:

“Would the man on the woman’s tee back up to the men’s tee, PLEASE!

I finally stopped, turned, looked through the clubhouse window directly at the person with the microphone and shouted back, “Would the person in the clubhouse kindly shut up and let me play my second shot?”


I had dinner with Garry Kasporov the chess master.

Problem was, we had a checkered tablecloth and it took him two hours to pass the salt.


A wild-eyed man dressed like Napoleon with his right hand inside his coat entered the psychiatrist’s office and nervously exclaimed, “Doctor, I need your help right away.”

“I can see that. Lie down on the couch and tell me about your problem.”

“I don’t have a problem. In fact, as Emperor of France, I have everything I could possibly want. Money, women, power, everything! But I’m afraid my wife, Josephine, is in deep mental trouble.”

“I see,” said the doctor. “And what seems to be her problem?”

“For some strange reason, she thinks she’s Mrs. Schwartz.”


“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained.”

Marie Curie


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

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