Ray's musings and humor

Ray’s Daily

May 13, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

Have you noticed how many people are so busy doing nothing that they never have enough time to do something?

We don’t have to regret what we didn’t do if we start now to do the things we may have missed.

Ray

Looking Ahead

I have a busy day today topped off with a preliminary visit to the oral surgeon that is going to work on me soon. After the extractions my Dentist will build me a new bridge to replace the one I broke. So here we go again a Daily from the past.

Ray

Ray’s Daily published on May 13, 2005

~~~

If I had my life to live over I’d like to make more mistakes next time. I’d relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual trouble, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones. You see, I’m one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day.

Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.

I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have. If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds, I would pick more daisies.

Nadine Stair

~~~

Life offers two great gifts–time, and the ability to choose how we spend it.

Planning is a process of choosing among those many options.

If we do not choose to plan, then we choose to have others plan for us.

Richard I. Winword

~~~

     COMPUTER PROVERBS

* Home is where you hang your @.

* The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.

* A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.

* You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks.

* Don’t put all your hypes in one home page.

* The modem is the message.

* Too many clicks spoil the browse.

* The geek shall inherit the earth.

* A chat has nine lives.

* Don’t byte off more than you can view.

* Fax is stranger than fiction.

* What boots up must come down.

* Windows will never cease.

* Virtual reality is its own reward.

* Modulation in all things.

* A user and his leisure time are soon parted.

* Know what to expect before you connect.

* Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.

* Speed thrills.

~~~

Wife to bill-paying husband:  “I slashed expenses last month.  Everything was charged on one credit card so that it will cost only one stamp to pay all of our bills.”

~~~

Little Sam was out shopping with his mother, something he didn’t like very much. But when they passed a toy store, Sam came to life. He saw a new toy in the window that he didn’t have but wanted. Sam begged, pleaded and nagged but to no avail. He got so rude that his mother firmly said, “I’m very sorry Sam, but we didn’t come out to buy you a toy.”

Sam angrily said, “I’ve never met a woman as mean as you.”

Holding his hand gently, she replied, “Sam, darling, one day you’ll get married and then you will … you really will, I promise you.”

~~~

After the funeral the Rabbi said, “I don’t think you’ll ever find another man like your late husband Morris.”

The widow replied, “So who’s looking for one?”

~~~

At the beginning of the grandparents’ class I teach, I ask participants if they would share the very first feelings they had when they learned they were going to be grandparents.

Most people say they were happy and excited. During one class, however, an expectant grandmother blurted, “I just hated it! I finally knew for certain that my daughter was having sex.”

~~~

We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.

-Anne Frank

~~~

A cyclone hit a Kansas farmhouse just before dawn one morning.

It tore off the roof, and picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept were sleeping.  By some miracle, the cyclone set them down unharmed the next county over.

The wife was sobbing uncontrollably.  “Don’t be scared, Mary,” her husband said.  “We’re not hurt.”

Mary continued to cry.  “I’m not scared,” she said between sobs.  “I’m happy…  this is the first time in 14 years we’ve been out together.”

~~~

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.

Erica Jong

~~~

Jill had applied for a job, and when she returned home, her mother asked how the interview went.

Jill replied, “Pretty good I think, but if I go to work there I won’t get a vacation unless I’m married.”

Her mother, of course, had never heard of such a thing and asked, “Is that what they told you?

Jill replied, “No, they didn’t tell me that, but on the application it said, “Vacation time may not be taken until you’ve had your first anniversary.”

~~~

Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Mark Twain

~~~

An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to a farmer.  “Look at it this way.” he said finally.  “How would your wife carry on if you should die?”

“Well…” drawled the weather-beaten man, “I don’t reckon that’d be any concern of mine — long as she behaves herself while I’m alive.”

~~~

Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it.

Leonardo Da Vinci

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: