Ray's musings and humor

Those Were The Days

Ray’s Daily

April 16, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma.

Eartha Kitt

Old Radio

Today I feel like going back to the good old days, days I hope to see again one of these days.

Ray

Ray’s Daily first published on April 16, 2004

I don’t know if kids still listen to the radio through the night like I did during the 40’s. I was fortunate enough to live in Chicago were my favorite overnight disc jockey was Dave Garroway. His theme was a whistled version of Sentimental Journey the music he played was from the big bands and ballads from the singers of the day. He accompanied all this with soothing, intelligent patter. He also  announced for the NBC radio series The World’s Great Novels. The show featured dramatic readings of classic novels and later evolved into NBC University of the Air, which offered accredited radio-assisted degrees in literature. Life was simpler then, it was nice to be able to linger quietly and to explore together with this voice on the radio, the good things in life.

In 1949 he moved to TV, as the host of one of television’s earliest musical-variety shows. Garroway at Large was one of the two most important series to be made in Chicago, along with Kukla, Fran & Ollie, during the city’s brief period in the late 1940s as an important production center for network programs. Garroway at Large ran until 1951. Starting in 1952, Garroway became the longtime host of NBC’s Today show. It just seems to me there was more depth in the Garroway years, less sound bites and listeners with a longer attention span. I wish we had more than just public radio to find anything similar these days.

~~~

Carolyn sent me this, I figured I better share it with you.

To all my friends, thanks to you sending me chain letters in 2003:

I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it’s good for removing toilet stains.

I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

I don’t leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens they contain may turn me gay.

I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.

I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.

I think I’m turning gay because when I go to parties, I don’t look at any girl no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a  bathtub full of ice.

I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account.  A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.  Funny that girl, she’s been 7 since 1993…

I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.

My Erickson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.

But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain that I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse from hell.

IMPORTANT NOTE:  If you send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will crap on you today at 7 pm.

~~~

My wife can say more in a look than I can in a book.

Henny Youngman

~~~

Andy came to work one day, limping something awful. One of his co-workers, Josh, noticed and asked Andy what happened.

Andy replied, “Oh, nothing.  It’s just an old hockey injury that acts up once in a while.”

Josh, “Gee, I never knew you played hockey.”

Andy, “No I don’t. I hurt it last year when I lost $100 on the Stanley Cup play-offs. I put my foot through the television…”

~~~

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

-Charlotte Whitton

~~~

Dear Sir,

Since taking your body building course, I now have a 44 inch chest, a 32 inch waist, 17 inch biceps and an 18 inch neck. I feel absolutely marvelous but at the same time, I do feel that my chances of marriage are spoiled.

Yours faithfully,

Rachel Goldberg

~~~

There will always be a conflict between “good” and “good enough.”

Henry Martyn Leland

~~~

Morris had died.

His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris’ Last Will and Testament.

“To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 150 acres of land, and 1 million dollars.

To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the new Jaguar.

To my daughter Shirley, I leave my yacht and $250,000.

And to my brother-in-law Aaron, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my treadmill.”

~~~

Jewish curses

May you sell candles for a living and then may the sun never set.

May you be like a chandelier, hang by day and burn by night!

~~~

Did you know that Moses had to make a third trip up to the top of Mount Sinai?

Well, on this third trip, Moses arrived at the burning bush after much climbing, removed his sandals, kneeled and prayed to God.

“Oh mighty God, King of the Universe, your people have sent me back here to ask you a question about the Ten Commandments.”

“What question do they have for me?” roared the voice of God.

“They want to know whether the commandments are listed according to priority.”

~~~

Sign in restaurant: If you are over 80 and accompanied by your parents, we will cash your check.

~~~

He said: After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my recruiter what I could expect from jump school.

“It’s three weeks long,” he said.

“What else?” I asked.

“The first week, they separate the men from the boys,” he said. “The second week, they separate the men from the fools.”

“And the third week?” I asked.

“The third week, the fools jump.”

~~~

If you help a relative in need, he/she will remember you the next time they are in need.

~~~

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.

Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.

The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his Father always said: “Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn ….. and into the hole he gooooes.”

~~~

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.

Jeremy Kitson

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

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