Ray's musings and humor

Ray’s Daily

April 4, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

The truly generous is the truly wise, and he who loves not others, lives unblest.

Henry Home

Kiwanis

I am still adjusting to my life as a hermit. Unfortunately I don’t have a Walden Pond to sit by like Henry David Thoreau had many years ago. But since I am meditating this morning, I am sending you a past daily.

Ray’s Daily first published on April 4, 2003

It will be a working weekend for many of us in Indianapolis this weekend as we attend a gathering of UNICEF, US Committee for UNICEF, and Kiwanis leaders to develop a program that will make a difference in the health and welfare of millions of kids in the years ahead. I know I have told you before how fortunate I am for having a chance to participate in something as significant as our work to eliminate the world’s leading preventable cause of mental deficincy, iodine deficiency disorders (IDD).

We have been told each $1 million we contribute to country projects results in protecting millions of people from IDD. I heard the other day that some of the smart bombs being used in the current war cost about $1 million each. It really brings home to me how much we could do if we could eliminate global conflict. Just think $1 million could help millions of kids or could be used to buy a bomb that destroys one building or kills a handful of the enemy.

For those of you that have helped us in the past, I thank you. Together we may not be able to raise enough money to buy a bomb or two, but we can raise enough to change the world forever as we protect children from death and disability.

~~~

God, grant me the Senility

To forget the people

I never liked anyway,

The good fortune

To run into the ones I do,

And the eyesight

To tell the difference.

~~~

“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”

~~~

She said:

Mid-life is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone to look at you naked.

Mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wingspans…we are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life has hit you when you stand naked in front of a mirror and can see your rear end without turning around.

Mid-life brings the wisdom that life throws you curves…and that you’re now sitting on your biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, “Listen, honey, even the Roman Empire fell, and those things will too!

Mid-life is when you start to repeat yourself…and your chins follow suit.

You become more reflective in mid-life.  You start pondering the “big” questions — what is life, why am I here…how much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it’s no longer a healthy choice?

~~~

I’m planning to retire and live off my savings. What I’ll do the second day, I have no idea.

~~~

“Zen Judaism”

Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health or a life without problems. What would you talk about?

Let go of pride, ego, and opinions. Admit your errors and forgive those of others. Relinquishment will lead to calm and healing in your relationships. If that doesn’t work, try small-claims court.

The Torah says, “Love they neighbor as thyself.” The Buddha says there is no “self.” So maybe you’re off the hook.

There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?

Though only your skin, sinews, and bones remain, though your blood and flesh dry up and wither away, yet shall you meditate and not stir until you have attained full Enlightenment. But first, a little nosh.

Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

~~~

A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

~~~

“Headlines for 2043”

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops & livestock.

Baby conceived naturally…. Scientists stumped.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2044.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

~~~

An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, “Got any ID?” The driver says, “‘Bout what?”

~~~

You’re not a kid anymore when …

The only reason you’re awake at 4 a.m. is indigestion.

You are proud of your lawnmower.

8 a.m. is your idea of “sleeping in.”

People call you at 8 p.m. and ask: “Did I wake you?”

Your high school diploma is the color of buttermilk.

Nobody ever tells you to slow down.

You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.

~~~

“Live so that you wouldn’t mind selling your pet parrot to the town gossip.”

Will Rogers

~~~

Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they might have been.

William Hazlitt

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

Comments on: "We Helped Make The World a Better Place" (1)

  1. what a wonderful helper you are

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