Ray's musings and humor

Don’t It Get You Down

Ray’s Daily

March 3, 2020

http://rays-daily.com

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.

Winston Churchill

attitude

Everyone I know run into problems just like you and I do. The folks I like best are those who deal with the obstacles they run into and move on. They are not like some of us who let our troubles weigh us down.

I have learned over the years that one’s positive attitude is the key to a successful and happy life. I am inspired by some of my fellow residents in our senior living facility who while having significant physical problems stay upbeat.

Right now the world is dealing with a major epidemic and faltering economies. We get to make a choice, do we let what is going on get us down or do we continue to make the best of what we have. I have too many good things going on in my life to let external problems get me down. What about you?

Attitude on Life

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

It is more important than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than whatever anyone might say or do.

It is more important than appearances, giftedness or skill.

The remarkable thing is that we have the choice to create the attitude we have for that day.

We cannot change our past. We cannot change the way people act. We cannot change the inevitable.

The one thing we can change is the only thing we have control over, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what actually happens to us and 90% how we react to it.

Charles Swindoll

~~~

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.

Khalil Gibran

~~~

For those who remember the old Jewish Catskill comics from vaudeville days (Shecky Green, Red Buttons, Totie Fields, Milton Berle, Henny Youngman and others), here are some of the famous comedy lines.

  • I’ve been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife every finds out, she’ll kill me!
  • What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she’s making love? “Honey, I’m home”
  • We always hold hands.  If I let go, she shops.
  • My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
  • She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate.
  • She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
  • The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying “Mrs.  Cohen, your check came back.”
  • Mrs.  Cohen answered “So did my arthritis!”
  • The Doctor says “You’ll live to be 60!” “I AM 60!” “See, what did I tell you?”
  • A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man’s chest.  The man asks “Doc, how do I stand?” The doctor says “That’s what puzzles me!”
  • Doctor says to a man “You’re pregnant!” The man says “How does a man get pregnant?” The doctor says “The usual way, a little wine, a little dinner….”
  • “Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears.” “Don’t answer!”
  • A drunk was in front of a judge.  The judge says “You’ve been brought here for drinking.” The drunk says “Okay, let’s get started.”
  • A bum asked me “Give me $10 till payday.” I asked “When’s payday?” He said “I don’t know, you’re the one who is working!”
  • I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he’s out of.

~~~

Life’s most urgent question is: what are you doing for others?

Martin Luther King, Jr.

~~~

A New Yorker was being shown around the back country of Louisiana by his cousin. “Is it true that an alligator won’t attack you if you carry a flashlight?” he asked.

The cousin smirked, “Depends on how fast ya carry it.”

~~~

** HEADLINES, 2035 **

** Baby conceived naturally… Scientists stumped.

Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

** George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

** Postal Service raises price of First Class Stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

** 35 year study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

** Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

~~~

Always decide not to decide, unless of course you decide to change your mind.

~~~

While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand-printed sign . . . “Energy-efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust.”

~~~

“Learn to listen. Opportunity sometimes knocks very softly.”

  1. Jackson Brown, Jr.

~~~

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.” Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: “Then you used to kiss me.” Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: “Then you used to bite my neck.” Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. “Where are you going?” she asked.

“To get my teeth!”

~~~

In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

~~~

I think this is a repeat but what the heck.

As a single, never-married woman in my 40s, I have been questioned endlessly about my status by my friends, relatives, and co-workers. Over the years, I’ve noticed a subtle change in the nature of their inquiries.

In my teens, friends would ask, “Who are you going out with this weekend?”

In my 20s, relatives would say, “Who are you dating?”

In my 30s, co-workers might inquire, “So, are you dating anyone yet?”

Now people ask, “Where did you get that adorable purse?”

~~~

Our attitudes control our lives. Attitudes are a secret power working twenty-four hours a day, for good or bad. It is of paramount importance that we know how to harness and control this great force

Tom Blandi

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

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