Ray’s Daily
December 20, 2019
It is essential to our well-being, and to our lives, that we play and enjoy life.
Every single day do something that makes your heart sing.
Marcia Wieder
My day yesterday and today are keeping me busy so I am again sharing a Daily from long ago.
Ray’s Daily first published on December 20, 2005
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Our year is about to end and it does for most of us at the height of our holiday season. This is the time of the year when most of us will find enjoyment from those we are with and what we will do. It is also the time when we have the opportunity to put some joy into the life of others. Many will find inspiration coming from their beliefs, others from there humanity. So I hope you can take a little bit of time to make someone else a little better. What a wonderful thing it would be if we all took time out for a week each other to put our anger, hatred, and selfishness aside and truly had the chance to experience peace on earth and goodwill toward man. Sure, I know it won’t happen, but it will not be because of you and I that it does not.
This is also the time of year when many of us will reflect on the past, we reflect on what was good and what was not good as 2005 slowly slipped away. This is also the very best time for us to inventory our blessings, rethink our desires, and recognize the challenges ahead. As we plan the future, we have the opportunity to promise ourselves that next year we will set aside time to enjoy the world around us and what we already have, especially our friends and family. And please above all commit to doing something special for yourself for it is only you that can open the door to personal joy.
I honestly believe that if we chose to be happy, we will be. All we have to do is look around us, there is so much pain in the everyday lives of the billions of people who have no food, medicine, shelter, or safety that we, by contrast should be grateful for everything we have.
Next year each morning as I awake I plan on remembering that I am safe, I am free, and I am alive, and that a new day is beginning and it is going to be one that I will enjoy. You can do it too, and just think if we do it at the same time we will have shared another experience, and shared experiences are always the best kind.
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Enjoy the journey, enjoy every moment, and quit worrying about winning and losing.
Matt Biondi
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LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)
Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy’s Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
Brown’s Law: If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.
Oliver’s Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
~~~
“He had delusions of adequacy.”
Walter Kerr
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Two men were talking. “My son asked me what I did during the Sexual Revolution,” said one. I told him I was captured early and spent the duration doing the dishes.
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Jill: Mary, what exactly is an “oxymoron”?
Mary: It’s a phrase made up of contradictory terms, like “deafening silence.”
Jill: Oh, I get it. Like “Mr. Perfect”!
~~~
Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.
Albert von Szent-Gyorgyi
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A young boy enters the barber shop and Bill Soprovitch the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”
The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game’s over!!!!”
~~~
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
Phyllis Diller
~~~
Ken sent us some “Senior” personal ads seen in Florida and Arizona newspapers:
FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80’s, slim,5′-4″ (used to be 5-6), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn’t in running condition, but walks well.
LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband looking for someone to round out a six- unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flossier to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the air guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let’s get together and listen to my boss collection of eight-track tapes.
MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.
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If people weren’t meant to have midnight snacks, then why do they put a light in the refrigerator?
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In a department store, a difficult customer and a patient clerk were having a hard time getting together. Nothing the clerk provided was suitable.
Finally, the finicky shopper said in annoyance, “Can’t you find a smarter clerk to serve me?”
“No,” said the saleswoman. “The smarter clerk saw you coming and disappeared.”
~~~
The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you.
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When I stopped to visit a friend, I found her on the phone with a real estate agent. “That’s a little high!” she exclaimed. “What can I get for less than $500 a month?” The reply was evidently not to my friend’s liking. “I see,” she said abruptly, and hung up.
“What did the agent say you could get?” I asked.
“A car.”
~~~
My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither,
But just enjoy your ice cream while it’s on your plate.
Thornton Wilder
~~~
Ray Mitchell
Indianapolis, Indiana
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.
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