December 12, 2019
Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
One of the things I find most distressing these days is our societies polarization. Some folks let their biases blind them to more reasoned alternatives. In some settings it has gotten so bad that folks are afraid to talk to each other out of fear that the conversations will turn into angry debates.
It is especially tragic when families and friends split because of entrenched beliefs which often are not based on reality. During this holiday season I am hoping people will set their differences aside and focus on appreciating each other.
Here is an edited piece offered as strategies we can use to help keep our get-togethers’ friendly and stress free.
Holiday Stress by Managing What Your Mouth and Your Body Language Says
by Sharon Sayler
Seven Nonverbal Strategies for a Stress-less Holiday
Strategy One: No response can be the best response. A smile and a change of subject or your location might be all that is needed.
Strategy Two: Have a great memory already selected, what I call “go to your happy place” ready. When that stressor moment begins, think of the happiest memories you have. Holding those happy thoughts changes your body language and the thoughts around the current situation.
Strategy Three: Have a buddy. Let your buddy know how to intervene when “that family member starts….” Have them intervene by asking a question or having a task for you.
Strategy Four: Use positive gestures of relationship to set the tone. Using an open, upward facing palm, gesture with your forearm and hand to the person most likely to start the negative situation. While you slowly gesture – remember palm up and open – comment on how wonderful the decorations are this year. Continue the day assigning all the positive words you say, you’ll be amazed how it can reset the tone.
Strategy Four (and half): The opposite is true, you want to “aim” negativity AWAY from the person you’re talking to—no matter what you’re talking about. You can hurt feelings with your gestures and not even know it.
Strategy Five: Many situations can be diffused (or inflamed) by intentionally using your voice. Besides the words you choose, the emphasis, tone, volume, speed play a crucial role in how someone listens, interprets and reacts to what we say.
Strategy Six: Your facial expressions tell the world what you are feeling. Monitor those reaction facial expressions such as the ever so easy and favorite eye roll or pouty frown.
Strategy Seven: My favorite and the most powerful — your breathing. Train yourself to maintain low, abdominal (natural) breathing. The more you experience the calming effect that low, abdominal breathing has on your body, brain and voice, the easier it is to do in all situations. The goal is to maintain balanced breathing even while others around you are not.
Remain calm, serene, always in command of yourself. You will then find out how easy it is to get along.
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Roumania.
Dorothy Parker (1893 – 1967)
You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
Andy Rooney On Phone-In-Polls:
You know those shows where people call in and vote on different issues? Did you ever notice there’s always like 18% that say, “I don’t know.” It costs 90 cents to call up and vote and they’re voting “I don’t know.” “Honey, I feel very strongly about this. Give me the phone.” (Says Into Phone) “I DON’T KNOW!” (Hangs up looking proud.) “Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe you’re not sure about.”
If a thing is done wrong often enough, it becomes correct.
An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class.
“How did that happen?” gasped her mother.
“It wasn’t easy,” admitted the young lady, “but 3 girls helped me catch him.”
When your wife says, “Well, what do you think?” she is not asking for YOUR opinion.
She is asking for HER opinion, from your mouth.
A young lady applied for a job and when she returned home, her mother asked how the interview went. She said, “Pretty good, but if I get the job, I won’t get a vacation unless I’m married.”
Her mother had never heard of such a thing and asked, “Is that what they told you?”
The young lady replied, “No, they didn’t tell me that, but on the application it said that vacation time is not available until after your first anniversary.”
She asked, if men are so competent, how come you always see signs reading “DANGER – MEN WORKING”?
“Mr. Goldblatt,” announced little Joey, “there’s something I can’t figure out.”
“What’s that, Joey?” asked Goldblatt.
“Well, according to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?”
“And the Children of Israel beat up the Phillistines, right?”
“And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?”
“Again you’re right.”
“And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptians, and the Children of Israel fought the Romans, and the Children of Israel were always doing something important, right?”
“All that is right, too,” agreed Goldblatt. “So what’s your question?”
“What were all the grown-ups doing?”
“A mother never realizes that her children are no longer children.” James Agee
She said, let’s celebrate each other for each other’s sake!
TO MY GIRLFRIENDS!
It is good to be a woman:
- We got off the Titanic first.
- We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
- Taxis stop for us.
- We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
- No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
- We don’t have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
- If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
- We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
- We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
- We have the ability to dress ourselves.
- We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
- If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
- We will never regret piercing our ears.
- There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
- We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren’t listening anyway.
Robert Benchley is one of my all time favorite humorists. He once said in a cable from Venice to Harold Ross, “Streets full of water. Please advise.”
Her Bathroom Scale Tips
- Weigh yourself with clothes on, after dinner…as well as in the morning, without clothes, before breakfast, because it’s nice to see how much weight you’ve lost overnight.
- Never weigh yourself with wet hair or beard.
- When weighing, remove everything, including glasses. In this case, blurred vision is an asset. Don’t forget the earrings, these things can weigh at least a pound.
- Use cheap scales only, never the medical kind, because they are always five pounds off…to your advantage, of course.
- Always go to the bathroom first.
- Stand with arms raised, making pressure on the scale lighter. (Waving them is optional but occasionally helps!)
- Don’t eat or drink in the morning until AFTER you’ve weighed in, completely naked, of course.
- Weigh yourself after a haircut; this is good for at least half a pound of hair (hopefully).
- Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the scale (air has to weigh something, right?)
- Start out with just one foot on the scale, then holding onto the towel rack in front of you, slowly edge your other foot on and slowly let off of the rack. Admittedly, this takes time, but it’s worth it. You will weigh at least two pounds less than if you’d stepped on normally.
I find I get the most accurate weight if I hold on to the towel rack and not let go. Ray
Being relaxed, at peace with yourself, confident, emotionally neutral loose, and free-floating – these are the keys to successful performance in almost everything.
Wayne W. Dyer
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at email@example.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.