Ray's musings and humor

I appreciate them

Ray’s Daily

November 26, 2019

http://rays-daily.com

Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.

Theodore Roosevelt

Kindnessx

This Thanksgiving week provides each of us the opportunity to recall the things that we appreciate and the folks that add meaning to our lives. In my case I have lots to appreciate, my family, supportive friends and most of all an understanding wife.

Lately I have been blessed by meeting folks who you would like as much as I do. These are warm people who care for others. They have kindness in common as well as doing what they can for others. I am sure you know others like these people, I hope you let them know how much they are appreciated.

Here is something I found some time ago that is a recipe for how we too can be one of the special good people.

Recipe for forever

Gather all of the ingredients together, so that they are close at hand! Get a clean cloth and wipe the bowl clean of any lingering dust from the past.

Take maturity, respect and friendship, and stir gently.

Add unlimited amounts of compassion and kindness, and mix well.

To this, add caring by the handfuls and fold in trust.

Continue stirring gently, adding listening, honesty, and large amounts of communication.

Slip in some dreams, goals, and firm pieces of keeping promises.

Bake in a home filled with peace, beauty and serenity.

Before you taste the finished product, sprinkle liberally with patience, love, and a touch of spice.

Serve very hot, with imagination on the side.

~~~

Caring about others, running the risk of feeling, and leaving an impact on people, brings happiness.

Harold Kushner

~~~

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and flipped the woman off. “Man, that guy is stupid” I thought to myself.

I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here’s why: I drive 48 miles each way every day to work, that’s 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway so if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane.

That’s 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper to bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day.

Statistically, half of these are driven by females, that’s 18,000. In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That’s 642. According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That’s 449. According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That’s 98. And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That’s 33.

According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing. That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed. Flip one off?

I think not.

~~~

Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

~~~

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, “I clocked you at 80 mile per hour, sir.”

The driver says, “Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating.”

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the passenger seat, “Now don’t be silly, dear, you know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.”

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, “Can’t you keep your mouth shut for once?”

The wife smiles demurely and says, “You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.” As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, “Damn it, woman, can’t you keep your mouth

shut?!”

The officer frowns and says, “And I notice that you’re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That ‘s an automatic $75 fine.”

The driver says, “Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.” The wife says, “Now, dear, you know very well that you didn’t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you’re driving.”

As the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, “WHY DON’T YOU SHUT THE HELL UP?!”

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, “Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma’am ?”

“Oh, heavens no, officer. Only when he’s been drinking…”

So just don’t do it! Keep your Holiday Season safe! Ray

~~~

I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months – I don’t like to interrupt her.

~~~

In the men’s room at work, the boss placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it: “Think!”

The next day, when he went to the men’s room, he looked at the sign, and right below it, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read, “Thoap!”

~~~

“There was a robbery in Atlantic City at one of Donald Trump’s casinos. Thieves got away with $8 million dollars in debt.”

David Letterman

~~~

Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty four a.m. by his ringing telephone . . . “Your dog’s barking, and it’s keeping me awake,” said an angry voice.  Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up.

The next morning, at precisely four forty four a.m., Bernard called his neighbor back . . . “Good morning, Mr. Williams. I just called to tell you that I don’t HAVE a dog.”

~~~

We have to believe in free will.  We have no choice.

~~~

His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris’ Last Will and Testament.

“To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 150 acres of land, and 1 million dollars.

To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the new Jaguar.

To my daughter Shirley, I leave my yacht and $250,000.

And to my brother-in-law Aaron, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my treadmill.”

~~~

The eyes are the second thing to go. I forget the first …

~~~

He said, one Sunday morning when my son, David, was about 5, we were attending a church in our community. It was common for the preacher to invite the children to the front of the church and have a small lesson before beginning the sermon.  He would bring in an item they could find around the house and relate it to a teaching from the Bible.

This particular morning, the visual aid for his lesson was a smoke detector.  He asked the children if anyone knew what it meant when an alarm sounded from the smoke detector.

My child immediately raised his hand and said, “It means Daddy’s cooking dinner.”

~~~

Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.

Og Mandino

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: