November 5, 2019
“With love and patience, nothing is impossible.”
One of the things that concerns me these days is how well me and others do to make the lives of folks who are experiencing cognitive disabilities as pleasant as possible. Even those who have been diagnosed as having dementia still retain much of their abilities.
The problem comes when friends, family and care givers lose patience with them as they struggle to recall something or take time communicating. I know that excessive help or even anger just makes things worse. I think it is important that we stop and listen and make sure we give them time to say what they want to say. I also find that too much criticism or correction can just make things worse.
Here is a short piece that I think could have been said by those who have memory problems. So, my friends I find that patience and understanding are the keys to caring for those in need.
Please listen to me
When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
All I ask is that you listen. Not talk or do, just hear me. Advice is cheap: 50 cents will get you both Dorothy Dix and Dr Spock in the same newspaper. And I can do for myself I’m not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself you contribute to my fear and weakness. But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling.
And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice. So, please listen and just hear me, and if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn; and I’ll listen to you.
“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.”
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Housekeeping Tips for Regular People. If you’re a Martha Stewart type of housekeeper, this is NOT for you. However, for the rest of you, this is your chance to learn 15 Secret Shortcuts to Good Housekeeping that your mother never told you.
SECRET TIP 1: DOOR LOCKS – If a room clearly can’t be whipped into shape in 30 days, much less 30 minutes, employ the Locked Door Method of cleaning. Tell anyone who tries to go in the room that you accidentally locked the door and can’t find the key. Of course, the locksmith can’t possibly come until tomorrow. CAUTION: It is not advisable to use this tip for the bathroom.
SECRET TIP 2: DUCT TAPE – No home should be without an ample supply. Not only is it handy for plumbing repairs, but it’s a great way to hem drapes, tablecloths, clothes, just about anything. No muss, no fuss.
SECRET TIP 3: OVENS – If you think ovens are just for baking, think again. Ovens represent at least 9 cubic feet of hidden storage space, which means they’re a great place to shove dirty dishes, dirty clothes, or just about anything you want to get out of sight when company’s coming.
SECRET TIP 4: CLOTHES DRYERS – Like Secret Tip 3, except bigger. CAUTION: Avoid hiding flammable objects here.
SECRET TIP 5: WASHING MACHINES & FREEZERS – Like Secret Tip 4, except even bigger.
SECRET TIP 6: DUST RUFFLES – No bed should be without one. Devotees of Martha Stewart believe dust ruffles exist to keep dust out from under a bed or to help coordinate the colorful look of a bedroom. The rest of us know a dust ruffle’s highest and best use is to hide whatever you’ve managed to shove under the bed. (Refer to Secret Tips 3, 4, 5.)
SECRET TIP 7: DUSTING – The 30-Minutes-To-A-Clean-House method says: Never dust under what you can dust around.
SECRET TIP 8: DISHES – Don’t use them. Use plastic and you won’t have to wash them.
SECRET TIP 9: CLOTHES WASHING – This secret tip is brought to you by an inventive teenager. When this teen’s mother went on a housekeeping strike for a month, the teen discovered you can extend the life of your underwear by two… if you turn it wrong side out and, yes, rerun it.
CAUTION: This tip is recommended only for teens and those who don’t care if they get in a car wreck.
SECRET TIP 10: IRONING – If an article of clothing doesn’t require a full press and your hair does, a curling iron is the answer. In between curling your hair, use the hot wand to iron minor wrinkles out of your clothes.
SECRET TIP 11: VACUUMING – Stick to the middle of the room, which is the only place people look. Don’t bother vacuuming under furniture. It takes way too long and no one looks there anyway.
SECRET TIP 12: LIGHTING – The key here is low, low, and lower. It’s not only romantic, but bad lighting can hide a multitude of dirt.
SECRET TIP 13: BED MAKING – Get an old-fashioned waterbed. No one can tell if those things are made up or not, saving you, oh, hundreds of seconds over the course of a lifetime.
SECRET TIP 14: SHOWERS, TOILETS, AND SINKS – Forget one and two. Concentrate on three.
SECRET TIP 15: – If you already knew at least 10 of these tips, don’t even think about inviting a Martha Stewart type to your home.
Forgive and remember.
Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. “What’s going on here, anyway?” he asked.
“This woman was found committing adultery, and the law says we should stone her!” one of the crowd responded.
“Wait,” yelled Jesus. “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”
Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head.
“Aw, c’mon, Dad…” Jesus cried, “I’m trying to make a point here!”
“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.”
Bryant H. McGill
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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