October 30, 2019
“The real dividing line between things we call work and the things we call leisure is that in leisure, however active we may be, we make our own choices and our own decisions. We feel for the time being that our life is our own.”
I have a lot going on so here is a daily from thirteen years ago.
Ray’s Daily first published on October 30, 2006
Here we go again, another full and interesting week for me. This morning I attended my first meeting at 6:45 and learned that two people I have met with in the past had found jobs and that was great news. Later I attended a great meeting with the leaders of our cities major Senior’s programs and a University friend. We ended up laying out plans for an exciting Senior Citizen/College Student intergenerational program that will be included in the curricula of a global studies course. This is an exciting first step in our effort to build bridges between the generations.
Shortly I am off to the second in a series of lectures on the history and development of China. Tonight I will be attending the Franciscan Center on Global Studies guest lecture series to hear a respected academic from Rutgers speak on “Uses of Just War Ideas in Recent American Debate.”
Tomorrow I will meet, for the first time, with someone who is involved in college level distance learning programs. Wednesday I am having coffee with one of my favorite medical buddies who is my Pacemaker guru. Later that day it will be on to one of our cities Colleges to discuss possible community partnerships.
OK, now the fun part. On Thursday morning I will be helping man the African Cultural Resources booth at the Indianapolis International Festival. It will be student day and we expect to be busy with kids wanting to learn more about the world. I might even wear my African shirt given me by a friend who recently returned from Ghana. I may have a hard time looking and acting African but I’ll do my best. It will be easier on Saturday since I will be working at the Nationalities Council booth from 10AM until 2PM. That assignment will be much simpler because of the many nationalities in my background. What is the word they use for humans? I don’t think it’s mongrel.
That is all I’ll be up to this week with the exception of a couple of meals with interesting people, a Kiwanis meeting, and other stuff that I will remember later. And of course there will be our daily visits. Life is full and I am pretty sure retirement is grand, although I sometimes wish I had a job so I could take some time off for work. Anyway, I will be looking for you out there and if you see me first stop and say hi.
“The life of a man consists not in seeing visions and in dreaming dreams, but in active charity and in willing service”
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Rules of Management
Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
If it’s really a “rush job,” run in and interrupt me every ten minutes to inquire how it’s going. That helps.
Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don’t open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors is good training.
If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is the priority. Let me guess.
Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do.
If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret.
If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversation.
If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done.
Be nice to me only when the job I’m doing for you could really change your life.
“One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake.”
Mike goes to a psychiatrist. “Doc, he says, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed I think there is somebody under it. I get under the bed and I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, under top. I’m going crazy!! Can you help me?
“Put yourself in my hands for two years, come to me three times a week and I’ll cure you,” says the shrink.
“OK, but how much do you charge for this? asks Mike.”
“A hundred dollars per visit,” says the psychiatrist.
And Mike replies, “I’ll think about it.” He never went back. Some time later he met the doctor on the street. “Why didn’t you come to see me again?” asks the psychiatrist.
“$100.00 a visit,” Mike says. “Why should I want to pay a hundred bucks a visit? My bartender cured me 100% for just ten dollars.”
“Is that so! says the shrink. “Just how did he do that?” And Mike says, “He told me to cut the legs off my bed.”
I know I’m not going to understand women. I’ll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
“A Love Poem”
I will seek and find you.
I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.
I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan and groan.
I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I’m finished with you.
And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.
All my love,
Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
Father Guffy roared from the pulpit to his parishioners: “The drink has killed millions– it rots their stomachs and they die in agony. Smoking has killed millions–it coats your lungs and you die in agony. Overeating and consorting with loose women have also killed millions…”
“‘Scuse me, Father,” hollered Reagan from the back, “but what is it that kills the people who live right?
The Bureau of Incomplete Statistics reports that one out of three.
She said: I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in the military. As I checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked me some standard security questions. “Has anyone given you any packages that you didn’t pack yourself?” he asked.
I told him that my mother-in-law had given me a parcel to take to her son.
He looked at me very carefully and asked: “Does she like you?”
Motherhood ~ If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with his son.
As I walked by, he checked something off his list, and I heard him whisper conspiratorially to the child, “You know, if we really mess this up, we’ll never have to do it again.”
The happiness that is genuinely satisfying is accompanied by the fullest exercise of our faculties and the fullest realization of the world in which we live.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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