Ray’s Daily
October 4, 2019
“Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn’t know possible.”
Tia Walker
I am trying to do what I can for my wife as she suffers from weakness and memory loss. I find it is not easy but I am glad I can do what I can. I have learned:
- Not to concentrate on my distress but focus on her needs.
- That it is OK to be wrong, there is no need to try to correct what is of no importance.
- To not expect more than is possible.
- To understand and not become angry.
- That it is alright to ask for help from family and others.
- To accept my own weakness and avoid trying to do what I can no longer do.
- To appreciate what we do have while remembering all we have had.
- To quit unnecessary activities while saving some time for myself.
- To hold hands often.
Here are tips on memory caregiving I picked up from The Family Caregivers Alliance. My wife is only in the early stages of dementia but I want to do all I can so I appreciate what is offered.
Ten Tips for Communicating with a Person with Dementia
Set a positive mood for interaction. Your attitude and body language communicate your feelings and thoughts more strongly than your words do. Set a positive mood by speaking to your loved one in a pleasant and respectful manner.
Get the person’s attention. Limit distractions and noise—turn off the radio or TV, close the curtains or shut the door, or move to quieter surroundings.
State your message clearly. Use simple words and sentences. Speak slowly, distinctly, and in a reassuring tone. Refrain from raising your voice higher or louder; instead, pitch your voice lower.
Ask simple, answerable questions. Ask one question at a time; those with yes or no answers work best. Refrain from asking open-ended questions or giving too many choices.
Listen with your ears, eyes, and heart. Be patient in waiting for your loved one’s reply. If she is struggling for an answer, it’s okay to suggest words.
Break down activities into a series of steps. This makes many tasks much more manageable. You can encourage your loved one to do what he can, gently remind him of steps he tends to forget, and assist with steps he’s no longer able to accomplish on his own.
When the going gets tough, distract and redirect. If your loved one becomes upset or agitated, try changing the subject or the environment.”
Respond with affection and reassurance. People with dementia often feel confused, anxious, and unsure of themselves. Further, they often get reality confused and may recall things that never really occurred. Avoid trying to convince them they are wrong. Stay focused on the feelings they are demonstrating (which are real) and respond with verbal and physical expressions of comfort, support, and reassurance. Sometimes holding hands, touching, hugging, and praise will get the person to respond when all else fails.
Remember the good old days. Remembering the past is often a soothing and affirming activity. Many people with dementia may not remember what happened 45 minutes ago, but they can clearly recall their lives 45 years earlier.
Maintain your sense of humor. Use humor whenever possible, though not at the person’s expense. People with dementia tend to retain their social skills and are usually delighted to laugh along with you.
~~~
“The closest thing to being cared for is to care for someone else.”
Carson McCullers,
~~~
TEN “IF’S” YOU NEED TO KNOW TO GET ALONG AT WORK
1) If it rings, put it on hold.
2) If it clunks, call the repairman.
3) If it whistles, ignore it.
4) If it’s a friend, stop work and chat.
5) If it’s the Boss, look busy.
6) If it talks, take notes.
7) If it’s handwritten, type it.
8) If it’s typed, copy it.
9) If it’s copied, file it.
10) If it’s Friday, FORGET IT!!!
~~~
“I want to know what good is a web search engine that returns 324,909,188 ‘matches’ to my key word. That’s like saying, “Good news, we’ve located the product you’re looking for. It’s on Earth.”
Bruce Cameron
~~~
The doctor finished his examination and asked the patient to step into his office. “Sit down, Mr. Kaysen. After looking at these test results,
I recommend that you have an operation immediately.” The man thought for a moment, “How will this affect my hobby, Doctor?”
“What’s your hobby?”
“Saving money!”
~~~
“Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.”
Scott Adams
~~~
She said: I was at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.
“Oh, we’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship,” the I explained. “He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts.
He communicates real well and I just act like I’m listening.”
~~~
“Oh, I was an ugly kid. My old man took me to the zoo. They thanked him for returning me.”
Rodney Dangerfield
~~~
Real Signs On Church Property
It is unlikely there’ll be a reduction in the wages of sin.
Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.
If you don’t like the way you were born, try being born again.
Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.
Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
In the dark? Follow the Son.
Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up.
If you can’t sleep, don’t count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.
~~~
“And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world it is best to hold hands and stick together.”
Robert Fulghum
~~~
Ray Mitchell
Indianapolis, Indiana
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.
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