Ray's musings and humor

Here comes October

Ray’s Daily

September 30, 2019

http://rays-daily.com

“Even if something is left undone, everyone must take time to sit still and watch the leaves turn.”

Elizabeth Lawrence

Leaves

I am running behind this morning so here is another reprint.

Ray’s Daily first published on September 30, 2010.

My special assignment yesterday took me to an Orchid Nursery and to a large colorful garden in another location that hosts weddings and other events for people from all over the world. I also visited one of the Midwest’s largest landfills. Why the mix? It was because they were all located in the center of the state well off the beaten track and near each other. I saw a lot and I learned a lot. I am glad that I am provided opportunities to discover things I would never select to visit on my own.

Can you believe it, October tomorrow? I think I am in some kind of time warp things are moving so fast. If you are in the right region make sure you stop and listen to the leaves turn color in the weeks ahead, you’ll need to listen with your eyes.

Since I thought I better get a jump on planning I downloaded some of the October opportunities to consider. October is:

Dental Hygiene Month – In my cast this is a “protect your investment” exercise since I have spent a lot more than I paid for my first new car on dental work this year.

Let’s Talk Month – Advocates for Youth – This is worthy effort if you can find a kid that will talk to you and also explain what they said.

Talk About Prescriptions Month – What can this be about? I am an old guy so I am always talking about prescriptions with others my age. Hey, we have to talk about something that does not require memory.

Book Month – Only one book? I wonder which one.

Car Care Month – Let your car know you care, five it a hug.

Dessert, Pasta, Pizza, Sausage Month – Thanks a lot! Now that I have diabetes you offer to overload me on carbs.

Seafood Month – OK, this works. What I am sorry about is that it took me so long to find out just how good fish can be.

Energy Awareness Month – When ever I have any I am not only aware I am also surprised.

UNICEF Month – Seriously the years I worked on global projects with UNICEF proved to me how effective they are. If you are in the US there will be kids with orange boxes collecting as part of Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF, I hope when you get a chance you will donate. I know I will.

~~~

“Just before the death of flowers,

And before they are buried in snow,

There comes a festival season

When nature is all aglow.”

Author Unknown

~~~

The junior executive had been complaining to his wife of aches and pains. Neither one could account for his trouble. Arriving home from work one night, he informed her, “I finally discovered why I’ve been feeling so miserable. We got some ultra-modern office furniture two weeks ago and I just learned today that I’ve been sitting in the wastebasket.”

~~~

Seen on a headstone in a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

          Anna Wallace

The children of Israel wanted bread,

And the Lord sent them manna.

Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,

And the Devil sent him Anna.

~~~

A lawyer had successfully handled a difficult law case for a wealthy friend. Following the happy outcome of the case, the friend and client called on the lawyer, expressed his appreciation of his work and handed him a handsome Moroccan leather wallet.

The lawyer looked at the wallet in astonishment and handed it back with a sharp reminder that a wallet could not possible compensate him for his services. “My fee for that work, ” acidly snapped the attorney, “is five hundred dollars.” The client opened the wallet, removed a one-thousand dollar bill, replaced it with a five-hundred dollar bill and handed it back to the lawyer with a smile.

~~~

“Happy laughter and family voices in the home will keep more kids off the streets at night than the strictest curfew.”

~~~

SUCCESS

    At age 4 success is . . . . not peeing in your pants.

At age 12 success is . . . having friends.

At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.

At age 20 success is . . . having sex.

At age 35 success is . . . having money.

At age 50 success is . . . having money.

At age 60 success is . . . having sex.

At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.

At age 75 success is . . . having friends.

At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

~~~

She said, my mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was on Jury duty…

They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.

~~~

What the Store-employees really mean…

  1. “Can I help you get a size?”

Don’t touch that, I just spent an hour folding it and I don’t need your hands messing it up again.

  1. “Do you need help with anything?”

Quick, my manager is coming around the corner and I need to look busy.

  1. “Welcome to <<Store Name Here>>”

Good, another customer to mess up my entire store just to buy a pair of socks.

  1. “Have a nice day!”

Now that you ruined mine

  1. “Thank you for shopping at <<Store Name Here>>”

Thanks for emptying your wallet with us!

  1. “Do you need a shopping cart to help you carry your items?”

The more you can carry, the more you can buy!

  1. “I love your shirt! Where did you get it?”

Your shirt is much nicer than the clothes we sell here, why are you even shopping here?

  1. “Can I help you get something down?”

I’ll get a ladder and put it up for you since this other nice customer put in the absolute wrong place.

  1. “Don’t worry about folding it, I can do it”

You would just mess it up again if you folded it.

  1. “No, we don’t have any more in the back”

I just don’t want to check

~~~

“October is the fallen leaf, but it is also a wider horizon more clearly seen.

It is the distant hills once more in sight, and the enduring constellations above them once again.”

Hal Borland

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

 

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