August 21, 2019
“Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.”
If you are like I am you know some folks who go out of their way to find out what is wrong. They seem to have lost their ability to appreciate what is right in their world. It seems that in todays polarized and somewhat uncivil society the loudest voices are those of the chronic complainers.
I don’t have much interest in wasting time focusing on the negative. I do appreciate constructive criticism when it offers the opportunity for improvement and when it is offered in good faith.
I, like most others, put little stock in what is offered by those who only complain. Like the boy that cried wolf so often that no one listened, we learn to ignore the constant naysayers.
Stop wasting your time complaining
“People visit a wise man complaining about the same problems over and over again. One day, he decided to tell them a joke and they all roared with laughter.
After a few minutes, he told them the same joke and only a few of them smiled.
Then he told the same joke for a third time, but no one laughed or smiled anymore.
The wise man smiled and said: ‘You can’t laugh at the same joke over and over. So why are you always crying about the same problem?’”
“When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness.”
When one wishes to unlock a door but has only one hand free, the keys are in the opposite pocket. (Von Fumbles Law)
A door will snap shut only when you have left the keys inside. (Yale Law of Destiny)
When one’s hands are covered with oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch. (Law of Ichiban)
Your insurance will cover everything but what has happened. (Insurance So Sorry Law)
When things seem to be going well, you’ve probably forgotten to do something. (Cheney’s Second Corollary)
When things seem easy to do, it’s because you haven’t followed all the instructions. (Destiny Awaits Law)
If you keep your cool when everyone else is losing his, it’s probably because you have not realized the seriousness of the problem. (Law of Gravitas)
Most problems are not created or solved; they only change appearances. (Einstein’s Law of Persistence)
You will run to answer the telephone just as the party hangs up on you. (Principle of Dingaling)
Whenever you connect with the Internet, the call you’ve been waiting for all day will arrive. (Principle of Bellsouth)
If there are only two programs on TV that are worth your time, they will always be at the same time. (Law of Wasteland)
“My Dad used to say ‘always fight fire with fire’, which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire department.”
When the heir to the Rothschild fortune visited a poor Jewish village near Budapest, the locals poured out to greet him. With all due ceremony, he was given a small parade, met with the mayor, and awarded a key to the city.
At the local inn, he ordered some roast chicken for brunch. When he finished, he received a bill larger than the most expensive bottle of wine his family sold.
“This is outrageous!” Rothschild shouted at the innkeeper. “Never in my life have I been charged so much for a roast chicken! Are chickens that rare around here?”
“Not at all,” said the innkeeper reassuringly. “But millionaires — ah, they are a rarity!”
I am always doing things I can’t do, that’s how I get to do them.
Billy’s dad was away on a business trip. So he wanted to sleep with his mother. The first night she refused. The second night she refused again. On the third night she decided to let him lay there for a while and take him to bed when he fell asleep.
So Billy put on his pajamas and jumped into bed on his father’s side. With both his hands behind his head, he said to his mother just before she fell asleep: “With Christmas approaching, don’t you think it would be a good idea if we buy Billy a bicycle?”
When you walk with wise men, you will become wise, but a companion of fools will be destroyed.
My 17-year-old niece asked me if she could use my name as a reference on her resume, which she planned to submit to a local fast food restaurant. I agreed.
A few days later, she called and asked me to meet her at the restaurant later that afternoon. When I asked her why, she replied, “The manager wants me to come in for an interview and she told me to bring my references.”
The main trouble with mental notes is the ink fades so fast
A lady answered her front door to find a plumber standing there. “I’m here to fix the leaky pipe,” he announced.
“I didn’t call a plumber,” said the lady.
“What?” huffed the plumber. “Aren’t you Mrs. Snyder?”
The Snyders moved out of this house over a year ago,” explained the lady.
“How do you like that?” grunted the plumber. “They call you up and tell you it’s an emergency and then they move away!”
Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining – it bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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