Ray's musings and humor

Ray’s Daily

May 7, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

“He who laughs, lasts.”

Mary Pettibone Poole

humor 2

Since I wrote the first Ray’s Daily in 2000 I have always included some humor to lighten our days. I know some of our readers enjoy the levity, often sharing it with others.

Now that I am living with so many seniors older than me, I have seen the value that keeping a sense of humor has in dealing with age and infirmities. Laughter makes the days a lighter brighter and the heart a little lighter. So my friends I hope you enjoy the Daily as much as I enjoy putting it together.

The Five Most Important Reasons to Laugh

Barbara Lee

  1. Laughter Makes Us Healthier – Laughter is a good thing. Scientists tell us that laughter, humor and joy are an important part of life. Laughing lowers blood pressure, reduces stress hormones, and increases muscle flexion. It increases the circulation of antibodies in the blood stream and makes us more resistant to infection.
  2. Laughter Touches Our Soul – Laughter is good for us physically, but that is just the beginning. Laughter is good for the soul. There is a holiness in laughter. Laughter brings us closer to each other – and there is something holy about people coming together.
  3. Laughter Keeps Things in Perspective – Laughter helps us to transcend ourselves, and I need that help. Too often I take myself far too seriously. There is a danger of taking ourselves, our beliefs and our life too seriously.
  4. Laughter Helps Us Stay Positive – Laughter can be an important tool for keeping our troubles in proportion, for realizing that things aren’t always as bad as we think they are. But even when things are as bad as we think they are, laughter helps create positive emotions and helps us find a frame of mind in which we can more easily cope with the struggles of life.
  5. Laughter Is Loving – If I am able to laugh with you in my mistakes as well as with you in yours, it suggests we are all flawed and imperfect. Embracing good natured humor, we find the humility to see the foolishness of trying to be perfect and the gift of enjoying the smiles and laughter of love.

~~~

“Laugh as much as possible, always laugh. It’s the sweetest thing one can do for oneself & one’s fellow human beings.”

Maya Angelou

~~~

Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”

Customer: “Ok.”

Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

Tech Support: “Ok.  Right click again.  Do you see a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

Tech Support: “Ok, sir.  Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”

Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote click’.”

~~~

You’re getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn’t do anything the night before.

~~~

A Jewish gentleman stood before a delicatessen display counter and pointed to a tray. “I’ll have a pound of that salmon,” he said.

“That’s not salmon,” the clerk said, “it’s ham.”

“Mister,” the customer snapped, “in case nobody ever told you, you got a big mouth!”

~~~

“I tell ya, my wife, we get along good cause we have our own arrangement. I mean, one night a week I go out with the boys and one night a week, she goes out with the boys.”

Rodney Dangerfield

~~~

The sermon had been going on too long, and the Minister should have been able to see the congregation getting more than a little restless; he droned on none-the-less for yet another 15 minutes.  Finally he paused and said, “What else can I say Brothers and Sisters?”

“How about ‘Amen’ Preacher?” said a hungry soul from the rear of the Church.

~~~

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair.  One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: “What chair?”

~~~

The restaurant was so bad, the doggie bags had a warning: Not for consumption by real dogs.

~~~

Harry Epstein was downtown with his wife and four little children when he decided to take a taxicab home.

Approaching a cab driver, he demanded, “How much will you charge to drive us to the Bronx?”

“I figure $2 apiece for you and your wife,” said the driver. “I’ll take the four kids along for nothing.”

Harry Epstein turned to his children and said, “Jump in kids, and have a nice ride home. Momma and I will take the subway.”

~~~

Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

~~~

I am passing this on to you because, I think I have found inner peace.

I read an article that said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish things I had started.

Today I finished two bags of potato chips, a chocolate pie, a bottle of wine, and a box of chocolate candy.

~~~

“A sense of humor… is needed armor. Joy in one’s heart and some laughter on one’s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.”

Hugh Sidey

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Comments on: "A dose a day keeps the blues away" (1)

  1. […] via A dose a day keeps the blues away — Ray’s Daily […]

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