Ray's musings and humor

Archive for March, 2019

Be Happy Today

Ray’s Daily

March 15, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

“It’s been my experience that you can nearly always enjoy things if you make up your mind firmly that you will.”

L.M. Montgomery

Be Happy

Yippee it is Friday and this is St. Patrick’s Day weekend. I have no special big plans other than to happily enjoy the days with my wife and our new friends.

I have learned that happiness is up to ourselves. So again, this weekend I will focus on the good stuff, enjoy the days and ignore any stormy weather. Let’s just have fun and enjoy what we have.

Raise your spirit to the light,

Then your smile you must employ,

Swiftly expelling the gloomy night.

 

A new day comes into view,

To be shaped and to redesign,

And each move will be, by you

So perfect, so right and fine.

 

The birds will start their song,

And delight in this newborn day,

And with your courage so strong,

Exhilaration will come your way.

 

Greet the bright dawn with joy,

Don’t give in to tears and stress,

Find nothing that might annoy,

Come to know complete happiness.

 

         Ernestine Northover

~~~

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”

Epictetus

~~~

** The Biggest Lies In The World **

It’s a good thing you came in today. It’s the last one we have.

I promise to pay you back on my next paycheck.

You made it yourself? I would have never guessed.

Your hair looks just fine.

It’s delicious but I can’t eat another bit.

Go ahead and tell me, I won’t tell another soul.

The doctor will call you right back.

You don’t look a day over 50.

Your baby is just beautiful.

I gave at the office.

Put the map away. I know where we’re at.

Having a great time. Wish you were here.

~~~

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

~~~

Seven Ages of the Married Cold

1st Year – The husband says, “Oh, sweetie pie, I’m really worried about those nasty sniffles you have! There’s no telling what that could turn into with all the strep throat that’s been going around. I’m going to take you right down to the hospital and have you admitted for a couple days of rest. I know the food is lousy there, so I’m going to bring you some take-out from Tosini’s. I’ve already arranged it with the head nurse.”

2nd Year – “Listen, honey, I don’t like the sound of that cough. I called the doctor, and he’s going to stop by here and take a look at you. Why don’t you just go on to bed and get the rest you need?”

3rd Year – “Maybe you better go lie down, darling. When you feel lousy, you need the rest. I’ll bring you something –do we have any canned soup around here?”

4th Year – “No sense wearing yourself out when you’re under the weather. When you finish those dishes and the kids’ baths and get them to bed, you ought to go to bed yourself!”

5th Year – “Why don’t you take a couple aspirin?”

6th Year – “You oughta go gargle or something instead of sitting around barking like a dog!”

7th Year – “For Pete’s- sake, stop sneezing. Are you trying to give me pneumonia? You’d better pick up some tissues while you’re at the store.”

~~~

Success is just a matter of luck, just ask any failure.

~~~

A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked, “Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?” The father replied, “It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean.” With that the father went to the telephone an dialed a number at random. To the man who answered the phone, he said, “Hello, is Melvin there?” The man answered, “There is no one living here named Melvin. Why don’t you learn to look up numbers before you dial them?” “See,” said the father to his daughter. “That man was not a bit happy with our call.

He was probably very busy with some- thing and we annoyed him. Now watch….” The father dialed the number again. “Hello, is Melvin there?” asked the father. “Now look here!” came the heated reply. “You just called this number and I told you that there is no Melvin here!

You’ve got a lot of nerve calling again!” The receiver slammed down hard. The father turned to his daughter and said, “You see, that was anger. Now I’ll show you what exasperation means.” He dialed the same number, and when a violent voice roared, “Hello!” The father calmly said, “Hello, this is Melvin. Have there been any calls for me?”

~~~

“Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody is looking.”

Henry Louis Mencken

~~~

The widow lay crying on her psychiatrist’s couch. “We were married twenty-five years before he died,” she said, dabbing away a tear. “Never had an argument in all those years.”

“Amazing,” said the doctor. “How did you do it?”

“I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward.”

~~~

“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”

Stacey Charter

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Do it anyway

Ray’s Daily

March 14, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

“Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions.”

Dalai Lama XIV

Do it anwayjpg

I now live in a close and diverse community. The one thing we have in common is our ages and our need to adjust to a more sedentary lifestyle. Our community is made up of folks from all walks of life and as you might expect a wide variety of feelings and beliefs. Some of us are generally happy while others stay fairly negative.

The secret to enjoying our stay here is to not let others influence how we behave. As always doing your best provides the happiest existence. And do you know what? When you do your best often you will find that the negative folks appreciate your efforts.

I have always liked the following piece, I hope you will too.

“The Paradoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. – Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. – Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. – Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. – Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. – Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. – Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. – Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. – Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. – Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth. – Give the world the best you have anyway.”

Kent M. Keith

~~~

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

~~~

A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector. Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up.

“You’ve been on for five miles–that’ll be 50p, please, and 10p for your suitcase.”

The Scotsman responds, “I ha’not, I want a ha’penny fare, just got on this vera moment.”

They begin to argue, and the ticket collector becomes more and more enraged, and finally, as the bus is passing over London bridge, he grabs the Scotsman’s suitcase and hurls it out of the bus. It lands in the river and sinks without a trace.

The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the ticket collector, “Not only are ye tryin’ to overcharge me for the ticket–but now ye’ve gone an’ drowned me boy Angus!”

~~~

I have a very fine doctor. If you can’t afford the operation, he touches up the X-rays.

~~~

One day, Bill and Joe went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.

Joe slammed his fist on the table. “When are you going to learn to be polite?”

“If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?”

“The smaller piece, of course,” Joe replied.

“What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?”

~~~

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”

Dorothy Parker

~~~

A kangaroo kept escaping from his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty foot fence was put up. The next morning, the zoo officials found the kangaroo was wandering the zoo.

When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, “How high do you think they’ll go?”

The kangaroo said, “About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!”

~~~

A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal went to church to pray for the money. By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt.

The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man’s hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church.

The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed:

“And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention…”

~~~

“According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing, when you consider man’s best friend is his dog.”

Jay Leno

~~~

The balding middle-aged man asked his barber, “Why do I have to pay full price for a haircut — there’s so little of it.”

“Well,” said the barber, “actually I only charge a little for cutting it. What you’re paying for mostly is my time searching for it!”

~~~

Life’s a dance. Put on your dancing shoes.

Steve Winwood

~~~

Just before Rosh HaShana, a team of terrorists invades the shul and takes the rabbi, the cantor and the shul president hostage. Hours later, the governor stands tough, he won’t give them a million dollars, nor a getaway car nor a Jumbo Jet.

The terrorists gather the three hostages in a corner and inform them that things look bad and they’re going to have to shoot them. Nevertheless, to show that they’re not really a bad bunch, they’ll grant each hostage one wish.

“Please,” says the rabbi, “for the last two months I’ve been working on my Rosh HaShana Sermon. What a waste to die now without having carried it before an audience. I’ll go happily if you let me recite my sermon. It’s an hour – ninety minutes long tops.” They promise to grant him the wish.

“Please,” says the cantor, “after 50 years I’ve finally gotten the ‘Hinneni’ prayer just right. What a waste to die and not sing it to an audience. It’s only about 45 minutes long – then I’ll go happily.” The terrorists promise to grant the cantor his wish too and then turn to the shul president.

“Please,” says the president with tears in his eyes, “Shoot me first!”

~~~

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.”

Dale Carnegie

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

They are inspiring

Ray’s Daily

March 13, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.”

Resilienejpg

I think I have learned one of the secrets of a long life, it is having a positive attitude. My new friends in my retirement community are a mixed lot. Many face physical difficulties that would be daunting to you and I. Yet these folks retain their intelligence, humor and empathy for others.

I think they have learned that there is little use in agonizing over what they cannot change or what is but a temporary setback. My fellow residents inspire all of us not to give into our woes.

Today I have extracted the highlights of an article that offers tips on how we too can ride out the difficulties we encounter.

Ways to Lift Your Mood When You’re Feeling Down in the Dumps

Dennis R. Tesdell

  1. Socialize & Think Positively! – When a person is feeling blue or *depressed,* often the LAST thing they want to do is be around others or socialize. The fact is, however, when we are feeling blue or down, if we choose to isolate ourselves and hold up in our room or home, we will tend to focus on the same mental *tapes* that are causing us to feel down in the first place! If you will force yourself to call a friend and meet for coffee, a movie, a walk, a talk–anything to get out and change your atmosphere, the chances are good that will have a good effect on changing your mood for the better.
  2. Do Something Just For YOURSELF! – Be totally selfish here. Think of something you want to do for yourself…a short trip, a manicure, a haircut, buying yourself the coat or scarf you have been wanting. It does not have to be extravagant nor costly. The point is you are being GOOD to yourself.
  3. Give Something To Another Person. – One of the best ways we can get beyond our own physical and emotional Self is to find something *bigger* than our own familiar problems upon which to concentrate! Think about your friends, relatives, the poor people in your church, or the local charities. Pick a person or cause that appeals to you and decide to give to that person or that cause.
  4. Rent Or Go See A Happy/Funny Movie.- Laughter has long been a quick and effective panacea for ills of all kinds.
  5. Volunteer Your Time.- One of the best ways we can help pull ourself out of feeling sorry for ourselves, or feeling blue, or concentrating on our own aches and pains, is by helping other people who have problems of their own
  6. Get Out Of The Past & Into The Present! – Most bad moods and mental attitudes are a result of what has happened to us in the PAST. This can be the recent past, or long ago. It is vital to your body and energy and Life as a whole that you stay in the PRESENT with your thoughts and feelings.
  7. Walk Or *Mall Walk* To Cheer Up. – Walking is prescribed by many doctors to help depression. REALIZE that EVERY person you see has their own problems, and has days when THEY are blue or down. Some may feel much worse, and even be clinically depressed. *To do* is to take action. You are NOT alone. Life will go on…things can get better, You must make the choice to help MAKE them better however.
  8. Call Someone You Like Who Is A “Positive” Person And Chat. – This option is alright as long as you do not *dump* on your friend, and as long as you do not abuse it. The idea here is to get OUT of yourself, and have some interaction, and hear about someone else’s life, and take your mind off your own *stuff* for awhile.

~~~

“It’s your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself that determines how your life’s story will develop.”

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

~~~

While leading a tour of kindergarten students through our hospital, I overheard a conversation between one little girl and an x-ray technician.

“Have you ever broken a bone?” he asked.

“Yes,” the girl replied.

“Did it hurt?”

“No.”

“Really? Which bone did you break?”

“My sister’s arm.”

~~~

I’ve learned that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

Andy Rooney

~~~

Two mathematicians were having dinner in a restaurant, arguing about the average mathematical knowledge of the American public. One mathematician claimed that this average was woefully inadequate, the other maintained that it was surprisingly high. “I’ll tell you what,” said the cynic, “ask that waitress a simple math question. If she gets it right, I’ll pick up dinner. If not, you do.” He then excused himself to visit the men’s room, and the other called the waitress over.

“When my friend comes back,” he told her, “I’m going to ask you a question, and I want you to respond `one third x cubed.’ There’s twenty bucks in it for you.” She agreed.

The cynic returned from the bathroom and called the waitress over. “The food was wonderful, thank you,” the mathematician started. “Incidentally, do you know what the integral of x squared is?”

The waitress looked pensive; almost pained. She looked around the room, at her feet, made gurgling noises, and finally said, “Um, one third x cubed?”

So the cynic paid the check. The waitress wheeled around, walked a few paces away, looked back at the two men, and muttered: “…plus a constant.”

~~~

The clearest indication of the complexity of modern relationships is the greeting cards that are blank on the inside. It’s like the card company says, “We give up, you think of something. For seventy-five cents it’s not worth us getting involved.

Jerry Seinfeld

~~~

“I spent my young adult years postponing many of the small things that I knew would make me happy…I was fortunate enough to realize that I would never have the time unless I made the time. And then the rest of my life began.”

Chris Peterson

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

You can do it

Ray’s Daily

March 12, 2019

“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Believe in yourself

The people I respect the most are those who don’t let adversity take them down. These are folks who believe in themselves to the point that they exhibit the strength needed to cope with whatever happens in their lives.

These people are people just like you and me. The difference from some of us is that they have decided not to waste time agonizing over difficulties, they just deal with whatever is going on the best they can and move on. Those who believe in themselves do not depend on others to solve their problems they do it themselves.

Here is apiece I picked up that I think is right on, I hope you will too.

Believe in Yourself

There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren’t the way you had hoped they would be.

That’s when you have to tell yourself that things will get better. There are times when people disappoint you and let you down.

But those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are.

So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be.

Because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep Believing in Yourself!

~~~

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.

Norman Vincent Peale

~~~

Patient:  It isn’t possible that I’m as overweight as you say I am.

Doctor:  Maybe you would prefer to look at it in a different way.  According to this chart, you’re about 10 inches too short.

~~~

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

~~~

A troop of Boy Scouts was being used as “guinea pigs” in a test of emergency systems. A mock earthquake was staged, and the Scouts impersonated wounded persons who were to be picked up and cared for by the emergency units.

One Scout was supposed to lie on the ground and await his rescuers, but the first-aid people got behind schedule, and the Scout lay “wounded” for several hours.

When the first-aid squad arrived where the casualty was supposed to be, they found nothing but a brief note: “Have bled to death and gone home.”

~~~

“Little minds are interested in the extraordinary; great minds in the commonplace.”

Elbert Hubbard

~~~

The flower vendor was an old hand at unloading his last few bunches. Appealing to a businessman on his way home, the vendor said, “How about a nice bunch of roses to surprise your wife?”

“Haven’t got a wife,” responded the businessman gruffly.

“Then how about some carnations for your girlfriend?” proposed the vendor without missing a beat.

“Haven’t got a girlfriend.”

“You lucky guy!” The vendor broke into a big smile. “Buy both bunches to celebrate!”

~~~

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

~~~

The ninety five year old woman at the nursing home received a visit from one of her fellow church members.

“How are you feeling?” the visitor asked.

“Oh,” said the lady, “I’m just worried sick!”

“What are you worried about, dear?” her friend asked. “You look like you’re in good health. They are taking care of you, aren’t they?”

“Yes, they are taking very good care of me.”

“Are you in any pain?” she asked.

“No, I have never had a pain in my life.”

“Well, what are you worried about?” her friend asked again.

The lady leaned back in her rocking chair and slowly explained her major worry – “Every close friend I ever had has already died and gone on to heaven. I’m afraid they’re all wondering where I went and why.”

~~~

I’m tired of reality – I want a fairy godmother!

~~~

Mrs. Smith was in the habit of having long conversations on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after only 25 minutes.

“What’s the matter?” asked her husband. “You had less than half an hour conversation on the phone.”

“I got a wrong number,” replied Mrs. Smith.

~~~

“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it, or leave it.”

Buddy Hackett

~~~

A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, “Read all about it.  Fifty people swindled!  Fifty people swindled!”

Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page.  Finding nothing, the man said, “There’s nothing in here about fifty people being swindled.”

The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, “Read all about it.

Fifty-one people swindled!”

~~~

“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles, and less than perfect conditions. So what? Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident, and more and more successful.”

Mark Victor Hansen

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Thanks for the memories

Ray’s Daily

March 11,2019

https://rays-daily.com/

Hold a true friend with both your hands.

Nigerian Proverb

Pindell breakfast

Last Saturday our two daughters joined us as we had breakfast with the Children of two of our dearest friends who are now deceased. The five children come together from around the country once a year to visit their parents grave site and to remember the good life they have shared.

We have known the family for more than fifty years. For the last few years they have invited us to join them to renew our friendships and to reminisce as we revisit the good times we have had together. These are truly good people, their parents left a great legacy, their children. We are privileged to continue to be their friends. I get great pleasure seeing how they continue to enjoy life as much as their parents did.

Friendship Story

You do not have to bother on being judged on the basis of differences that may be based on

There were two friends who were walking across a desert. While they were walking they got into an ugly argument and out of anger one of them slapped the other on the face. The one who was slapped, though was hurt he did not said anything and quietly wrote over the sand “I am hurt because today my friend hit me n my face”. They resumed walking and kept walking until they came across an oasis. They decided to take bath in the oasis then. While they were taking bath the one who had got slapped started drowning. The other friend came to his rescue and saved him. After he got rescued, he wrote on the stone “Today I was saved by my best friend”.

The other friend asked him, “Why did you write on the sand when I slapped you while you wrote on the stone when I saved you?” Upon this, the other friend replied that its better we write on sand when your friend hurts you as it will be gone with the wind but write it on stone when your friend does something good to you so that it could be engraved forever.

Moral of the Story

Your friend always sees the brighter side of you! No matter what your friend will always come to rescue you be it any circumstance!

~~~

Odd how much it hurts when a friend moves away — and leaves behind only silence.

Pam Brown

~~~

An accountant spends a week at his new office, with the accountant he is replacing. On the last day, the departing accountant tells him that he left two envelopes in the desk drawer, and that envelope No. 1 should be opened if he ever encounters any sort of crisis on the job and envelope No. 2 should be opened if a further crisis occurs.

Three months down the road there is a major drama: all the accounts are wrong (the usual stuff) and the accountant feels very threatened by it all. He remembers the parting words of his predecessor, and opens the first envelope. The message inside says: “Blame me!” He does this and gets off the hook.

Three months later, he encounters his next crisis and opens the second envelope.

The message inside says: “Write two envelopes.”

~~~

“My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $ 1.99 cents a can. That’s almost $7.00 in dog money.”

Joe Weinstein

~~~

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf – always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, “When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Moral of this story: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.

~~~

You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who can do nothing for them or to them.

Malcolm Forbes

~~~

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

His mother had an idea: “Why don’t you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home- cooked meal?”

He thought this was a great strategy and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone.

“The evening was a disaster,” he moaned.

“Why, didn’t she come over?” asked his mother.

“Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook…”

~~~

“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”

John Bright

~~~

When I managed a chemical plant, I instituted a rule that there would be no playing games on our computers. So I wouldn’t be a hypocrite, I had an information technologist get rid of the games on my laptop. Therefore I was surprised to find my grandson playing solitaire on it one weekend. I asked if he had loaded the game…

“No,” he answered, “it was already there. It was just hidden – taken off the main menu.”

On Monday I chided our information technologist for not getting rid of the game. “But,” he explained, “I thought I just had to keep it away from *you* – not from a nine-year-old!”

~~~

If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

~~~

Every morning during our coffee break, my co-workers and I listened to the culinary disasters of a newlywed colleague. We then tried to share some helpful hints and recipes.

One day, she asked us for step-by-step instructions on cooking sweet potatoes, which was one of her husband’s favorites. “I’ve finally been able to make them sweet,” she said, “but how do you make them orange?”

~~~

“Good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others.”

Plato

~~~

In Miami, the jurors in a multi-billion-dollar lawsuit against the tobacco industry were ordered by the judge to not see the new movie “The Insider”, because it might influence their verdict. He also ordered them not to see “The House on Haunted Hill”.

The prosecutor was surprised to hear this instruction and he said “I understand why you’ve instructed the jurors to not see ‘The Insider, but why should they avoid the second movie, your honor?”.

Being quick and to the point, the judge firmly stated, “Because it stinks!”

~~~

Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.

Elbert Hubbard

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

We owe them a lot

Ray’s Daily

March 8, 2019

“The day will come when men will recognize woman as his peer, not only at the fireside, but in councils of the nation. Then, and not until then, will there be the perfect comradeship, the ideal union between the sexes that shall result in the highest development of the race.”

Susan B. Anthony

Women

I need to send you my thoughts from thirteen years ago today

 Ray’s Daily first published on March 8, 2006

 Today is International Women’s Day and I am afraid it will pass by in my country with little notice. That is due in part to how well women have excelled in almost every endeavor they have undertaken. In the organizations I work with women continue to bring energy, intelligence, and leadership to the table whenever they are asked to do so. Even though progress has been made there are still pockets of inequality both in salary and in access to better positions even in our country. All I can say about that is that the losers are those who fail to take advantage of all that women have to offer.

Many years ago I spoke to a meeting of Women in Business and when I had completed my final remarks one woman asked me to comment on the fact that she had worked in her position for fifteen years and came up with most of the ideas that her male boss presented to his superiors as his own. She asked me what I thought she should do, I gave her a couple of suggestions on how to raise the issue with her management and ended by suggesting she might want to consider quitting, I asked her if they continued to fail to recognize her talents if she thought they were the kind of people she wanted as employers the rest of her working life. The next day the women’s editor of our daily newspaper wrote that she thought I was a little naive since she probably would do no better somewhere else. Just think how much better off we would be today if so many of our best and brightest had not been kept from the table? I could go on and on, suffice it to say that over the years, in both business and humanitarian organizations I have found unbelievably talented women, I will always grateful for both their counsel and their achievements.

I especially appreciate my many female friends, they are women who find the time to do all they have to do for their families, their jobs, their outside commitments, and still take time for us to share our joys and sorrows.

Unfortunately far too many women in the world are treated as third class citizens. These women are abused, neglected, and barred from life in the mainstream. These are today’s heroes, for in spite of it all they survive and do all they can, even for those who are responsible for their plight. They need to be set free.

So to the women of the world, thanks for caring so much and for doing all that you do for others. And especially thank you for being there whenever we need you.

~~~

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.

Anaïs Nin

~~~

She said: Having just completed my training as the hospital’s switchboard operator, I was reasonably confident that I knew all the codes for emergencies:

Code Blue for cardiac arrest,  Code Red for fire, etc.

My first night on the job alone, however, a nurse phoned and asked me to page a  “Code Brown, Room 214.”

I had no idea what that was.  I called the page, then searched frantically through my emergency manual, but I couldn’t find any description of it anywhere.

Stumped, I finally called the nurse back and asked her about it.

“Relax,” laughed the nurse.   “Code Brown is what we page when a patient is discharged and leaves behind an unfinished box of chocolates!”

~~~

In the pursuit of happiness, the difficulty lies in knowing when you have caught up.

R.H. Grenville

~~~

A man is sitting in an airliner, which is about to take off when another man with a Labrador Retriever occupies the two empty seats beside him. The Lab is situated if the middle and the first man is looking quizzically at The dog when the second man explains that they work for the airline.

The airline rep said, “Don’t mind Sniffer; he’s a sniffing dog, the best there is. I’ll show you once we get airborne when I put him to work.” The plane takes off and levels out, when the handler says to the first man, “Watch this.”

He tells the dog, “Sniffer, search.” Sniffer jumps down, walks along the aisle, and sits next to a woman for a few seconds. The dog next returns to its seat and puts one paw on the handler’s arm.

He says, “Good boy.” The airline rep turns to the first man and says, “That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I’m making a note of this and her seat number for the police who will apprehend her on arrival.

“Fantastic!” replies the first man.

Once again the handler sends Sniffer to search the aisles. The Lab sniffs about, sits down beside a man for a few seconds, returns to its seat, and places two paws on the handler’s arm. The handler says, “That man is carrying cocaine, so again I’m making a note of this and the seat number”

“Wow, that’s really something!” says the first man.

A third time the rep sends Sniffer to search the aisles. Sniffer goes up and down the plane and after a while sits down next to a man. He then comes racing back, jumps up onto this seat, and pees all over the seat. The first man is really grossed out by this behavior from a supposedly well-trained sniffing dog and asks, “What’s going on?”

The handler nervously replies, “He just found a bomb.”

~~~

You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

~~~

Working in a print shop, my co-worker and I sometimes forget how complex the equipment seems to clients. She explained to one woman how to use a copier that could enlarge, reduce, collate, change paper size and adjust the lightness or darkness of copies.

“It’s really so simple,” my colleague concluded. “All you have to do is tell it what you want, and it does it.”

The client’s anxiety vanished. Leaning close to the machine, she commanded, “Copy both sides, please!”

~~~

Show me a good loser, and I’ll show you a fellow playing golf with his boss.

~~~

“I had the strangest dream last night,” a man was telling his psychiatrist.  “I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face.

And you can imagine, I found this very disturbing, and in fact I woke up immediately, and couldn’t get back to sleep.  I just lay there in bed waiting for morning to come, and then I got up, drank a Coke, and came right over here for my appointment.  I thought you could help me explain the meaning of this strange dream.”

The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before responding: “A Coke? That’s a breakfast?”

~~~

Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths.

Lois Wyse

~~~

She also said: While I was working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her shot.

“NO!! NO!! NO!!” she screamed.

“Lizzie,” her mother scolded. “That’s not polite behavior.”

At that, the girl yelled even louder,

“NO, THANK YOU!! NO, THANK YOU!! NO, THANK YOU!!”

~~~

Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by an encounter with another human being. Each of us owes the deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this inner light.

Albert Schweitzer

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

I am glad it happened

Ray’s Daily

March-7-2019

https://rays-daily.com/

Not how long, but how well you have lived is the main thing.

Seneca

Detour

If you are like I am there have been times in your life when events deflected you from the path you were on. I know in my lifetime there have been a number of events that set me on the road that took me to where I am today.

What at the moment seemed to be a disaster just provided me the opportunity to adapt and move on. If I had not been put into a boarding school I would not have been left without close friends when I returned home years later. If that hadn’t happened, I probably would not have joined the US Navy Reserve. That resulted in my being called to active duty during the Korean war. That resulted in my meeting my wife on a blind date and led to sixty-five years of our happy marriage.

My list goes on and on where events took me to the next phase in my life. The thing I have learned is not to overreact to events, but to accept them and move on for often they result in something positive. The following article reminds me of how my life has developed.

If You Bring Love

Joseph Campbell 

At a certain moment in Nietzsche’s life, the idea came to him of what he called ‘the love of your fate.’ Whatever your fate is, whatever the heck happens, you say, “This is what I need.” It may look like a wreck, but go at it as though it were an opportunity, a challenge.

If you bring love to that moment – not discouragement – you will find the strength is there. Any disaster that you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature, and your life. What a privilege! This is when the spontaneity of your own nature will have a chance to flow. Then, when looking back at your life, you will see that the moments which seemed to be great failures followed by wreckage were the incidents that shaped the life you have now. You’ll see that this is really true.

Nothing can happen to you that is not positive. Even though it looks and feels at the moment like a negative crisis, it is not.

~~~

Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.

John Lennon

~~~

The math teacher posed this problem, “A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One fifth is to go to his wife, one fifth is to go to his son, one sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?”

The savvy student answered, “A lawyer!”

~~~

Did you hear about the gal that shot an arrow into the air?

She missed.

~~~

Three students are leaving their last classes of the day.

The law student is thinking, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have coffee.”

The engineering student is thinking, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have beer.”

The medical student is thinking, “I’m tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes.”

~~~

“I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.”

Bob Hope

~~~

A customer at Green’s Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor’s quick wit and intelligence.

“Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?”

“I wouldn’t share my secret with just anyone,” Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won’t hear. “But since you’re a good and faithful customer, I’ll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you’ll be positively brilliant.”

“You sell them here?” the customer asks.

“Only $4 apiece,” says Green.

The customer buys three. A week later, he’s back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn’t any smarter.

“You didn’t eat enough, ” says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he’s back and this time he’s really angry.

“Hey, Green,” he says, “You’re selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $2. You’re ripping me off!”

“You see?” says Green. “You’re smarter already.”

~~~

The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

~~~

The first grade teacher, Miss Johanson asked Little Bennie, “Bennie if I gave you two bunnies, and then two more bunnies and then two more bunnies, how many would you have?”

Bennie replied, “Seven bunnies, Miss Johanson.”

The teacher asked again, “Listen Bennie, If I gave you two bunnies, plus two more bunnies, plus two more bunnies, how many bunnies would you have altogether?”

Bennie smiled, “That’s easy, Teacher, I would have seven.”

“Ok Bennie,” Miss Johanson said. “Let’s try it a different way. If I gave you two cans of Coke, plus two more cans of Coke, plus two more cans of Coke. How many cans of Coke would you have?”

“Six cans,” Bennie answered.

“OK,” said the teacher. “Now think of that with this question. If I gave you two bunnies, then two more bunnies, then two more bunnies, how many would you have?”

“Seven, Teacher.” Bennie replied.

Exasperated, Miss Johanson asked, “Why seven?”

Bennie replied, “Because I already have one bunny at home!”

~~~

Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don’t get so worked up about things.

Kenneth Branagh

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Life is to be enjoyed

Ray’s Daily

March 6, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

“True happiness is to enjoy the present… without anxious dependence upon the future.”

Seneca

Choose your life

A recent article reported that the greatest malady affecting the elderly is lonesomeness. The article said one in three of those 70 and above feel isolated and alone. The report showed data indicating that the lonely are sicker and die sooner than those who stay engaged with society.

I regret that so many of the lonely have given up on life and have withdrawn into themselves. I think each of us can make a difference by our not giving up on them. Showing an interest in the wirdrawn can let them know someone cares. I have found that the seniors I have met in our community do well in part because of the friendships they continue to make.

The following provides some insight into how we can live fully and avoid isolation.

 

A Creed To Live By

Nancye Sims

  • Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
  • It is because we are different that each of us are special. Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only do what is best for you.
  • Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.
  • Don’t let life slip through your fingers by living in the past or in the future. By living one dayat a time you live all days of your life.
  • Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
  • Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is the fragile thread that binds us to each other.
  • Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
  • Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible. The fastest way to lose love is to hold to it tightly, and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
  • Don’t dismiss your dreams. To be without dreams is to be with out hope, to be without hope is to be without purpose.
  • Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been, but also where you are going. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

~~~

“The foolish seek happiness in the distance; the wise grow it under their feet.”

James Oppenheim

~~~

She said: It was the third day my husband, Joe, had been in the intensive care unit following his fifth surgery for the removal of most of his remaining small intestine. The surgery took many more hours than expected. Joe was older and weaker, and he wasn’t responding.

As I sat beside his bed, two nurses tried repeatedly to get him to cough, open his eyes, move a finger – anything to let them know he could hear them. He didn’t respond. I sat praying to God to please help Joe respond – any sign that he might survive.

Finally, one of the nurses turned to me and suggested that perhaps if she knew something personal about our family, she could try to stimulate his response with that knowledge. She said, “Maybe you, as his daughter, could help us with such information.”

I smiled and said, “I’ll be happy to give you personal information, and thank you for the compliment, but I’m his wife of forty-three years, not his daughter, and we’re about the same age.”

The nurse looked at me and said, “The entire staff thought you were his daughter and had even commented how wonderful they thought it was that his daughter was with him all the time.”

As they were expressing how I looked so young, a little cough came from my husband, and we all turned to stare at him. He didn’t open his eyes, but loud and clear he said, “She dyes her hair!”

~~~

“She had lost the art of conversation but not, unfortunately, the power of speech.”

George Bernard Shaw

~~~

An eighth grade teacher was leading a discussion on the qualifications for being president of the United States.

After the teacher commented that a person must be a natural born citizen. One of the students raised her hand, “Does that mean that if you were born by Caesarean section that you can’t be president?”

~~~

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me, there lay an invincible summer.

Albert Camus

~~~

One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her. “My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish,” said God. “Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways,” said the nun.

“There must be something you would have of me,” said God.

“Well, there is one thing,” she said.

“Just name it,” said God.

“It’s those blond jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blond jokes to stop.”

“Consider it done,” said God. “Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do just for you.”

“There is one thing. But it’s really small, and not worth your time,” said the nun.

“Name it. Please,” said God.

“It’s the M&M’s,” said the nun. “They’re so hard to peel.”

~~~

We should all swap problems; everyone knows how to solve the other fellow’s.

~~~

A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, “I suppose you will want some identification.”

He replied, without hesitation, “No ma’am, that won’t be necessary.”

“How come?” asked the woman.

“Crooks don’t buy peat moss.” answered the clerk.

~~~

I personally don’t mind growing old, but my body’s taking it badly.

~~~

Approaching the counter at a local post office, I said to the stern-faced woman on the other side, “Are you the Postmistress?”

“No!” she replied testily, “I’m the Postmaster – Uncle Sam doesn’t pay me enough to be anyone’s mistress.”

~~~

“We can go through our whole lives worrying about our future happiness, and totally miss where true peace lives- right here, right now.”

Peter Russell

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

Don’t be too serious

Ray’s Daily

March 5, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

“You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.”

George Bernard Shaw

Senior Fun

Time flies, we have been in our Independent Living apartment now for more than six months. I am still adjusting to our community which reminds me of small-town living. We have a beauty parlor, a convenience store, periodic movies, entertainment and a fine restaurant where we gather, socialize and eat. And just like in a village, everyone knows most everyone else.

While I don’t drive anymore I do get out. In fact last week three of my favorite people each picked me up and we met for conversation and brain storming. Thursday my favorite professional actress is coming by so we can go out and lay plans to tilt a few windmills as we reminisce about our past in New York City.

I have learned that the best medicine that we have to overcome creaky bones and other infirmities is avoiding excessive seriousness while laughing often.

There are some advantages to life in the slow lane, here a few of them for your review.

The Special Advantages that Come with Age

  • Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
  • You can quit trying to hold in your stomach no matter who walks into the room.
  • Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the guy on the television.
  • You can sing along with elevator music.
  • There is nothing left anymore to learn the hard way.  
  • Things that you buy now won’t wear out.
  • You no longer think of the speed limit as a challenge.
  • People call you at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you???? ”
  • Your investment in health insurance is finally paying off.
  • You can sing along with elevator music. (That sounds familiar)
  • Your eyes won’t get too much worse.
  • Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
  • You can eat dinner at 4:00 in the afternoon.
  • In a hostage situation you are the most likely to be released first.
  • No one expects you to run — anywhere.

~~~

“The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.”

Robert Frost

~~~

Jim had an awful day fishing, sitting on the lake all day without a single bite. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish.

He told the fish salesman, “Pick out the four largest ones and throw them at me, will you?”

“Ok. But, why do you want me to throw them at you?”

“Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them.”

~~~

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

~~~

My friend wanted a boat more than anything.  His wife kept refusing, but he bought one anyway.  “I’ll tell you what,” he told her.  “In the spirit of compromise, why don’t you name the boat?”

Being a good sport, she accepted.  When her husband went to the dock for his maiden voyage, this is the name he saw painted on the side:

“For Sale.”

~~~

She said: My husband and I married for better or worse…

He couldn’t do better and I couldn’t do worse

~~~

What is a grand-parent?  (taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)

A grandfather is a man grandmother.

Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the store and have lots of quarters for us.

Grandparents don’t have to be smart.

When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the same story over again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have television, because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us.

~~~

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says “dam.”

~~~

Aging gracefully means being flexible, being open, allowing change, enjoying change and loving yourself.

Wendy Whelan

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Who are you really?

Ray’s Daily

March 4, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

“Happiness depends upon ourselves.”

Aristotle

Be Yourself

Some of us have spent many years of our life trying to be someone other than our selves. It is like we were always in costume wearing a mask as we play a part written by someone else. One of the great things about aging is we can chuck the things that limit our happiness and can be ourselves.

I know for some it is not easy to choose to let go but it is truly worth doing so. That is one of the benefits of the freedom we have to do as we please as we celebrate the golden years. We may not be as nimble as we once were but we can recapture the feelings we had when we were kids. It is time we all quit being someone else a became ourselves.

Here is piece that I shared before but is worth repeating.

Steps To Happiness

Everybody Knows:

You can’t be all things to all people.

You can’t do all things at once.

You can’t do all things equally well.

You can’t do all things better than everyone else.

Your humanity is showing just like everyone else’s.

So:

You have to find out who you are, and be that.

You have to decide what comes first, and do that.

You have to discover your strengths, and use them.

You have to learn not to compete with others,

Because no one else is in the contest of *being you*.

Then:

You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.

You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.

You will have learned to live with your limitations.

You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.

And you’ll be a most vital mortal.

Dare To Believe:

That you are a wonderful, unique person.

That you are a once-in-all-history event.

That it’s more than a right, it’s your duty, to be who you are.

That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.

And we’ll be able to stay one up on what used to get us.

Father Pat

~~~

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”

Epictetus

~~~

Have you noticed in the movies that:

All teenage boys have some kind of “do not enter or else” sticker or sign on their bedroom door.

Something very very bad always happens when someone says “How bad can it be?” or “Can things get any worse?”

If the hero is running, the henchmen’s machine-guns will always give off sparks behind the hero’s feet and never actually hit him.

Heroes/villains, especially when wearing bulky, heavy, long black trench coats, can jump easily from rooftop to rooftop, always able to clear alleys ten to fifteen feet wide.

Be extremely cautious around cremation urns, because somehow it’s going to get knocked over.

If there is a dangerous man breaking into a house, only the mother and daughter will be home. The mother will then usher the child into a closet and tell her to stay there, and the closet will always have those blinds with little slits in them that the child can look through. The bad man will always approach the closet, but will never look inside before leaving.

If there is about to be a huge disaster like an alien invasion or the world is about to be plunged into a new ice age there will always be a smart character who can see what’s going to happen well before it does, but is ignored and made fun of by everyone until its too late.

In a gunfight, the hero can hide behind any object even if it is very thin and no bullets will pass through.

If a number of people are knocked out with gas or otherwise, they will all wake up at approximately the same time.

~~~

A baby first laughs at the age of four weeks. By that time his eyes focus well enough to see you clearly.

~~~

For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions:

“There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor,” he began, “but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being—a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one’s absolute own; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one’s joys and sorrows.”

To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes. Then she nodded in agreement.

Finally, she responded, “I think it’s a great idea! Can I help you choose which puppy to buy?”

~~~

“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.”

Ann Landers

~~~

A sign was placed at the entrance of the large machinery plant. It said:

“Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.”

~~~

“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”

Stacey Charter

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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