March 28, 2019
“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
Today I would like to share with you a Daily I wrote 12 years ago, I think many of us don’t stop to listen or clarify what has been said which results in misunderstanding and even conflict.
Ray’s Daily first published on March 28, 2007
Misunderstanding seems like too mild a word for what I often see around me. More often than not deep hurt or anger comes from misunderstood communications. Each of us hears through years of conditioning and our own attitudes and prejudices resulting in disconnects because someone else has a whole different set of filters. It sometimes seems as if we need a translator to have our words mean the same to someone else as they do to ourselves. It is sad how often turmoil is created because we walked away with a different understanding.
When I hear someone heatedly say “Oh, I understand alright”, it means they probably don’t, but at least they are letting you know there is a problem. It is worse when we quietly walk away with our own idea of what was said and it is different than what someone meant. Some of us hear instructions from someone, think we understand what they want and walk away without verifying that there truly are mutual expectations. I’ll tell you the only thing dumber than asking for clarification or verification is not doing so. I think the secret to better personal and professional cooperation and understanding is the question “If I heard you correctly you said…….,”, yep, just the simple stopping and feeding back to someone else your understanding of what was said can make a world of difference.
Sure sometimes it takes patience and work to assure total understanding but just remember the alternative is often chaos and anger. Here is what motivator, Ralph Marston has to say about the value of the patience that is often needed in order to achieve understanding:
Here’s something to keep in mind as you go through this hectic day. The person who benefits most from your patience is you. Yes, you’ll come across many people who are rude, annoying and self-centered. But does it really serve any positive purpose for you to sink to their depths of negativity?
Instead, take the opportunity to rise to a higher level of peacefulness and understanding. Take the opportunity to practice and strengthen your patience. Patience and understanding will take you to places where anger, frustration, confusion and anxiety can never reach. Patience and understanding put you in a position of real power and effectiveness.
Practice patience, and you will build real strength. Live with patience and understanding, and a whole new world of valuable opportunities will open up to you. There’s nothing to be gained by reacting to rudeness and anxiety with more rudeness and anxiety of your own making. Respond instead with patience and understanding, and you’ll make your world a much better place.
“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
Funny Kids’ Opinions
On science: “We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won’t drown when we breathe.”
–Travis, age 11
On beauty: “If you want to be loved by someone who isn’t already in your family, it doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.”
–Anita, age 8
On beauty: “It isn’t always how you look. Look at me. I’m handsome like anything, and I haven’t got anybody to marry me yet.”
–Brian, age 7
On marriage: “Married people usually look happy to talk to other people.”
–Eddie, age 6
On marriage: “Twenty-three is the best age, because you know the person forever by then.”
–Cameron, age 10
On relationships: “Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.”
–Lynnette, age 8
On relationships: “Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.”
–Erin, age 8
On science: “One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in 1 second.”
–Harold, age 11
Don’t think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.
A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water.
Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their “freedom.” As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town.
Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover.
After the ladies had left, and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates.
The rabbi replied, “I don’t know about you, but in MY congregation, it’s my face they would recognize.”
Happiness: The result of being too busy to be miserable.
In a small town, farmers of the community had gotten together to discuss some important issues. About midway through the meeting, a wife of one of the farmers stood up and spoke her piece.
One of the old farmers stood up and said, “What does she know about anything? I would like to ask her if she knows how many toes a pig has?”
Quick as a flash, the woman replied, “Take off your boots sir, and count them yourself!”
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
There are three religious truths:
- a) Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
- b) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of The Christian faith.
- c) Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
Gracie Allen’s Classic Recipe for Roast Beef
1 large Roast of beef
1 small Roast of beef
Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one burns, the big one is done.
“Who is more busy than he who hath least to do?”
A state trooper stopped Jill for going 15 miles over the speed limit.
After he handed her a ticket, Jill asked, “Don’t you give out warnings?”
“Yes, Ma’am,” he replied. They’re all up and down the road. They say, ‘Speed limit 65.'”
Kindness is a language which the dumb can speak, the deaf can understand.
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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