March 21, 2019
“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.”
The other day I attended a meeting of my fellow residents who live in our Senior Living facility. It was attended by about 40 of my neighbors.
The meeting showed us ways we could make our community even better than it already is while giving us an alternative to hibernating in our apartments. I was impressed with how volunteers operated the convenience store where we purchase necessities and more. A member told how our library was staffed by fellow residents. Others reported on what they do to welcome new residents.
We were invited to participate by helping those with memory issues, meeting with prospective and new residents and much more. I liked the idea that we had things we could do while helping our residents. It is great to have the opportunity to do something worthwhile rather than just rest and eat.
I am glad I am here and I did sign up to get more involved. There is not much more rewarding than helping others. When I read the following story it reminded me of what some of my neighbors would do.
The Man at the Market
When the supermarket clerk tallied up my groceries, I was $12 over what I had on me. I began to remove items from the bags, when another shopper handed me a $20 bill. “Please don’t put yourself out,” I told him. “Let me tell you a story,” he said. “My mother is in the hospital with cancer. I visit her every day and bring her flowers. I went this morning, and she got mad at me for spending my money on more flowers. She demanded that I do something else with that money. So, here, please accept this. It is my mother’s flowers.”
“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.”
He said that with the divorce rate so high in America, a new organization has been formed called, “Marriage Anonymous.” Whenever a man feels like getting married, they send over a woman wearing a torn housecoat, with curlers in her hair and cream on her face, and she tries to nag him out of it.
She said if you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his workmen.
“Paddy,” he asked casually, “didn’t you once tell me that you had a brother who was a bishop?”
“That I did, sir.”
“And you are a bricklayer! It sure is a funny world. Things in life aren’t divided equally, are they?”
“No, that they ain’t sir,” agreed Paddy, as he proudly slapped the mortar along the line of bricks. “Me poor brother couldn’t do this to save his life!”
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
Several women were visiting elderly Mrs. Diamond who was very ill. After a while, they rose to leave and told her, “Esther, we will keep you in our prayers.”
“Just wash the dishes in the kitchen,” the ailing woman said, “I can do my own praying.”
People tell me I’m childish but I think they’re just being poopyheads.
Over a round of golf, two doctors were talking shop.
“I operated on Mr. Lee the other day,” said the surgeon.
“What for?” asked his colleague.
“What did he have?”
“Oh… About $17,000.”
“Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business.”
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying A dollar per point.” The next class the professor handed the tests back out.
This student got back his test and $64 change.
A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
During a service at an old synagogue in Eastern Europe, when the prayer was said, half the congregants stood up and half remained sitting. The half that was seated started yelling at those standing to sit down, and the ones standing yelled at the ones sitting to stand up.
The rabbi, learned as he was in the Law and commentaries, didn’t know what to do. His congregation suggested that he consult a homebound 98-year old man, who was one of the original founders of their temple. The rabbi hoped the elderly man would be able to tell him what the actual temple tradition was.
So he went to the nursing home with a representative of each faction of the congregation.
The one whose followers stood during prayer said to the old man, “Is the tradition to stand during this prayer?”
The old man answered, “No, that is not the tradition.”
The one whose followers sat asked, “Is the tradition to sit during prayer?”
The old man answered, “No, that is not the tradition.”
Then the rabbi said to the old man, “The congregants fight all the time, yelling at each other about whether they should sit or stand!”
The old man interrupted, exclaiming, “THAT is our tradition!”
The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does.
Herbert V. Prochnow
Laws Of Slow People
- Slow people always walk side by side, even if they don’t know each other.
- They drive side by side, too. If they can’t find another slow driver to pair up with, they drive in the fast lane.
- Slow walkers never look back. When they drive, they never look in their rearview mirrors, either.
- Slow people drift sideways so they’ll block the path of anyone trying to pass them. If two people or vehicles are trying to get around them at the same time, they drift into the path of the one that is moving at the highest speed.
- Follow behind a slow person in the grocery store and you’ll wind up with soggy ice cream every time.
“Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.”
Booker T. Washington
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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