Ray’s Daily
March 5, 2019
“You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.”
George Bernard Shaw
Time flies, we have been in our Independent Living apartment now for more than six months. I am still adjusting to our community which reminds me of small-town living. We have a beauty parlor, a convenience store, periodic movies, entertainment and a fine restaurant where we gather, socialize and eat. And just like in a village, everyone knows most everyone else.
While I don’t drive anymore I do get out. In fact last week three of my favorite people each picked me up and we met for conversation and brain storming. Thursday my favorite professional actress is coming by so we can go out and lay plans to tilt a few windmills as we reminisce about our past in New York City.
I have learned that the best medicine that we have to overcome creaky bones and other infirmities is avoiding excessive seriousness while laughing often.
There are some advantages to life in the slow lane, here a few of them for your review.
The Special Advantages that Come with Age
- Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
- You can quit trying to hold in your stomach no matter who walks into the room.
- Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the guy on the television.
- You can sing along with elevator music.
- There is nothing left anymore to learn the hard way.
- Things that you buy now won’t wear out.
- You no longer think of the speed limit as a challenge.
- People call you at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you???? ”
- Your investment in health insurance is finally paying off.
- You can sing along with elevator music. (That sounds familiar)
- Your eyes won’t get too much worse.
- Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
- You can eat dinner at 4:00 in the afternoon.
- In a hostage situation you are the most likely to be released first.
- No one expects you to run — anywhere.
~~~
“The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.”
Robert Frost
~~~
Jim had an awful day fishing, sitting on the lake all day without a single bite. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish.
He told the fish salesman, “Pick out the four largest ones and throw them at me, will you?”
“Ok. But, why do you want me to throw them at you?”
“Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them.”
~~~
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
~~~
My friend wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept refusing, but he bought one anyway. “I’ll tell you what,” he told her. “In the spirit of compromise, why don’t you name the boat?”
Being a good sport, she accepted. When her husband went to the dock for his maiden voyage, this is the name he saw painted on the side:
“For Sale.”
~~~
She said: My husband and I married for better or worse…
He couldn’t do better and I couldn’t do worse
~~~
What is a grand-parent? (taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)
A grandfather is a man grandmother.
Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the store and have lots of quarters for us.
Grandparents don’t have to be smart.
When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the same story over again.
Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have television, because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us.
~~~
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says “dam.”
~~~
Aging gracefully means being flexible, being open, allowing change, enjoying change and loving yourself.
Wendy Whelan
~~~
Ray Mitchell
Indianapolis, Indiana
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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