Ray's musings and humor

Enjoy Your Life

Ray’s Daily

February 11, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

The minute you choose to do what you really want to do, it’s a different kind of life.

Buckminster Fuller

Enjoy Life

Many years ago I decided I was going to have a life that was not driven by career and obligations. It was the best decision I ever made, while I did not enrich my pocketbook, I did enrich my life.

When I was free to get involved in my community and to participate in a wide variety of activities, I made new friends, learned new things and found ways I could be useful to others. Far too many of us never start living the life we might have had and that to me is tragic.

Here is a story I may have sent you in the past but if I did it is worth repeating.

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

This is the story of an 85-year-old man imagining how he would’ve lived his life differently if given the chance.

He said, “If I had my life to live over again, I’d try to make more mistakes next time. I wouldn’t try to be so perfect. I would relax more. I’d limber up. I’d be sillier than I’ve been on this trip. In fact, I know very few things that I would take so seriously, I’d be crazier. I’d be less hygienic. I’d take more chances, I’d take more trips, I’d climb more mountains, I’d swim more rivers, I’d watch more sunsets, I’d go more places I’ve never been to. I’d eat more ice cream and fewer beans. I’d have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones.

You see I was one of those people who lived prophylactically and sensibly and sanely hour after hour and day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had it to do all over again, I’d have more of those moments. In fact, I’d try to have nothing but beautiful moments- moment by moment by moment.

I’ve been one of those people who never went anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a gargle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had to do it all over again, I’d travel lighter next time. If I had to do it all over again, I’d start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I’d ride more merry-go-rounds, I’d watch more sunrises, and I’d play with more children, if I had my life to live over again. But you see, I don’t.”

~~~

It’s never too late to be what you might have been.

George Elliot

~~~

Struggling to make ends meet on a first-call salary, the pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought.

“How could you do this?!”

“I was outside the store looking at the dress in the window, and then I found myself trying it on,” she explained. “It was like Satan was whispering in my ear, ‘You look fabulous in that dress. Buy it!'”

“Well,” the pastor replied, “You know how I deal with that kind of temptation. I say, ‘Get behind me, Satan!'”

“I did,” replied his wife, “but then he said, ‘It looks fabulous from back here, too!'”

~~~

Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?

~~~

A mother and father were chatting with their eight-year-old son about his future. The youngster said he’d like to attend Cornell, as his parents and other members of the family had. Pleased with his response, they pressed on. “What would you like to take when you attend college?” they asked the little boy. After giving it some thought and glancing around the kitchen, he replied, “The refrigerator, if you can get along without it.”

~~~

The biggest seller is cookbooks, and the second is diet books about how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.

~~~

I was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly inconvenienced when the phone went out of commission. Repeated requests for repair brought only promises.

After several days, I again contacted the phone company and told them there was no longer a rush.  The phone was now working fine…  except that all money was being returned upon completion of each call. A repairman arrived within the hour!

~~~

Some neighbors of my grandparents gave them a pumpkin pie as a holiday gift.  As lovely as the gesture was, it was clear from the first bite that the pie tasted bad. It was so inedible that my grandmother had to throw it away.

Ever gracious and tactful, my grandmother still felt obliged to send the neighbors a note.  It read:  “Thank you very much for the pumpkin pie. Something like that doesn’t last very long in our house.”

~~~

Clerk in flower shop: “Sorry, we don’t have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets?”

Customer (sadly):  “No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone.”

~~~

Life-insurance salesman …

“Do you know the present value of your husband’s policy?” the life-insurance salesman asked his client.

“What do you mean?” countered the woman.

“If you should lose your husband, what would you get?” asked the salesman.

The woman thought a minute, then brightened up and said, “Probably a poodle.”

~~~

“That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”

Dorothy Parker

~~~

The weather was very hot and this man wanted desperately to take a dive in a nearby lake. He didn’t bring his swimming trucks, but who cared? He was all alone. So he undressed and got into the water. After some delightful minutes of cool swimming, a pair of old ladies walked onto the shore in his direction. He panicked, got out of the water and grabbed a bucket lying in the sand nearby. He held the bucket in front of his private area and sighed with relief. The ladies got nearby and looked at him. He felt awkward and he wanted to move. Then one of the ladies said to him, “You know, I have a special gift, I can read minds.”

“Impossible,” said the embarrassed man. “You really know what I think?”

“Yes,” the lady replied, “Right now, you are thinking that the bucket you’re holding has a bottom.”

~~~

Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

Harold Thurman

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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