Ray's musings and humor

Do you see what I see?

Ray’s Daily

February 7, 2019

“Choose to be optimistic, it feels better.”

Dalai Lama XIV

Looking Good

A friend told me the other day that what I wrote about my new residence being as good as I think it is, is not shared by some of my fellow tenants. That reminded me of something my wife said to me years ago when I told her how beautiful our former home’s landscape had become, she said it was because I could not see the weeds.

On another occasion a close friend said I saw things others often miss. I do think what we see is often filtered by who we are. I am sure that some folks make sure they see the flaws around them and love to point them out to others. Sure, I may miss some defects but it is only because I appreciate most of what I do see and what I have is really pretty good. I may miss the flaws but I love what I do see.

I subscribe to what Ella Wilcox offers in the following poem.

 

Optimism

Talk happiness. The world is sad enough

Without your woes. No path is wholly rough;

Look for the places that are smooth and clear,

And speak of those, to rest the weary ear

Of Earth, so hurt by one continuous strain

Of human discontent and grief and pain.

 

Talk faith. The world is better off without

Your uttered ignorance and morbid doubt.

If you have faith in God, or man, or self,

Say so. If not, push back upon the shelf

Of silence all your thoughts, till faith shall come;

No one will grieve because your lips are dumb.

 

Talk health. The dreary, never-changing tale

Of mortal maladies is worn and stale.

You cannot charm, or interest, or please

By harping on that minor chord, disease.

Say you are well, or all is well with you,

And God shall hear your words and make them true.

 Ella Wheeler Wilcox

~~~

Those who wish to sing, always find a song.”

Swedish Proverb

~~~

Words That Don’t Exist, But Really Should

  1. AQUADEXTROUS – Possessing the ability to turn the bathroom faucet on and off with your toes.
  2. CARPERPETUATION – The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
  3. DISCONFECT – To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow ‘remove’ all the germs.
  4. ELBONICS – The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater or airplane.
  5. FRUST – The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he or she finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
  6. PEPPIER – The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
  7. PHONESIA – The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
  8. PUPKUS – The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
  9. TELECRASTINATION – The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you’re only six inches away.

~~~

A bar in NYC is installing a breathalyzer. If you’re drunk, it advises you not to drive. If you’re really, really drunk, it advises you not to call your old girlfriend.

~~~

A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on the first hole when a second fellow approaches and asks if he can join him. The first says that he usually plays alone but agrees to let the second guy join him.

Both are even after the first couple of holes. The second guy says, “Say, we’re about evenly matched, how about we play for five bucks a hole?”

The first fellow says that he usually plays alone and doesn’t like to bet but agrees to the terms. Well, the second guy wins the rest of the holes and as they’re walking off of the eighteenth hole, and while counting his $80.00, he confesses that he’s the pro at a neighboring course and likes to pick on suckers.

The first fellow reveals that he’s the Parish Priest at the local Catholic Church to which the second fellow gets all flustered and apologetic and offers to give the Priest back his money. The Priest says, “No, no. You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings.”

The pro says, “Well, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

The Priest says, “Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. Then, if you bring your mother and father by after Mass, I’ll marry them for you.”

~~~

“I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly.”

Michel de Montaigne

~~~

A minister in a little church had been having trouble with the collections.

One Sunday he announced,

“Now, before we pass the collection plate, I would like to request that the person who stole the chickens from Brother Martin’s henhouse please refrain from giving any money to the Lord.  The Lord doesn’t want money from a thief!”

The collection plate was passed around, and for the first in months, everybody gave.

~~~

Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.”

Marcus Aurelius

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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