Ray's musings and humor

The best is yet to come

Ray’s Daily

February 6, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

“Getting old is like climbing a mountain; you get a little out of breath, but the view is much better!”

Ingrid Bergman

Aging

As most of you know my wife and me left our old life behind a few months ago. While we hated to leave a home that provided us so many years of pleasure it was time to move to a more practical living arrangement.

Our no longer being able to drive and health limitations made a move to a senior independent living facility a practical answer to meet our needs. Our children and their families researched various facilities and helped us chose the one best for us. They also turnkeyed the move so we had to do no more than just move in. They have been a blessing to us both.

Recently I was asked to share my thoughts about our new life and what follows is what I submitted. I am glad we did not wait until too late to start to enjoy the rest of our lives.

Life at the Forum

My wife and I chose to move to The Forum at the Crossings a few months ago. We were impressed with the classic structure and the size and quality of the common areas. We also are pleased that our apartment is spacious, well equipped and comfortable.

I have a den/office, two baths, large living area, a good-sized master bed room and a fully equipped kitchen. This is much more than we found elsewhere. The main dining room is high quality, manned by friendly staff who provide us excellent menu choices at every meal.

Best of all has been the friends we have made, the services we have received and the amenities provided to the residents. We are most appreciative of the transportation that is provided to doctor appointments, local stores and more. The talented caring staff make our days pleasant.

We, like many our age was not sure what our future would be like when we left our old life behind. We no longer have any concerns since the Forum has provided us a great worry-free living and for that I will always be grateful.

~~~

“For the unlearned, old age is winter; for the learned, it is the season of the harvest.”

Hasidic saying

~~~

A young woman decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn’t sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her friend next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size.

“Buffy,” she said, “how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?”

“Ten,” said Buffy.

So the girl bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job, but she had 2 rolls leftover.

“Buffy,” she said. “I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I’ve got 2 leftover!”

“Yeah!” said Buffy. “So did I.”

~~~

The important thing is to learn a lesson every time you lose.

John McEnroe

~~~

St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys. “Very well,” said the gatekeeper of Heaven. “But you realize, I hope, that we’ve got all the good players and the best coaches.” “I know, and that’s all right,” Satan answered, unperturbed; “We’ve got all the umpires.”

~~~

Two nuns are out driving when a vampire drops onto the bonnet of their car. “Quick sister,” screams one nun, “Show him your cross!”

So the other nun leans out of the window and shouts, “Hey! You! Buzz off!”

~~~

I can’t go back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.

~~~

Two cars are waiting at a stoplight. The light turns green, but the man in front doesn’t notice it. A woman in the car behind him is watching traffic pass around them. The woman begins pounding on her steering wheel and yelling at the man to move. The man doesn’t move. The woman is going ballistic inside her car, ranting and raving at the man, pounding on her steering wheel and dash.

The light turns yellow. The woman begins to blow the car horn, flips him off, and screams curses at the man. The man, hearing the commotion, looks up, sees the yellow light and accelerates through the intersection just as the light turns red. The woman is beside herself, screaming in frustration as she misses her chance to get through the intersection. As she is still in mid-rant she hears a tap on her window and looks up into the barrel of a gun held by a very serious looking policeman.

The policeman tells her to shut off her car while keeping ! both hands in sight. She complies, speechless at what is happening.  After she shuts off the engine, the policeman orders her to exit her car with her hands up. She gets out of the car and he orders her to turn and place her hands on her car. She turns, places her hands on the car roof and quickly is cuffed and hustled into the patrol car. She is too bewildered by the chain of events to ask any questions and is driven to the police station where she is fingerprinted, photographed, searched, booked and placed in a cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approaches the cell and opens the door for her. She is escorted back to the booking desk where the original officer is waiting with her personal effects. He hands her the bag containing her things, and says, “I’m really sorry for this mistake, but you see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping that guy off, and cussing a blue streak at the car in f! ront of you.  Then I noticed the “Choose Life” license plate holder, the “What Would Jesus Do” and “Follow Me to Sunday School” bumper stickers, and the chrome plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally I assumed you had stolen the car.

~~~

The worst thing about censorship is ___________ !

~~~

THE DUMBEST SPORTS QUOTES OF ALL TIME

The list covers all major sports and features such gems as:

“We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.” –Jason Kidd

“You guys line up alphabetically by height.” –Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

“As I remember it, the bases were loaded.” –Baseball player Garry Maddox, asked his reaction to hitting a grand slam.

~~~

“Know that you are the perfect age. Each year is special and precious, for you shall only live it once. Be comfortable with growing older.”

Louise Hay

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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