Ray's musings and humor

Archive for January, 2019

You make a difference

Ray’s Daily

January 17, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Aesop

kindness

I had breakfast with a friend the other day. He is a guy with a good heart who has been helping others for as long as I have known him. He, like the rest of us has good days and bad days, what I like is that the bad days don’t slow him down.

Some of us let our troubles bog us down, my friend never seems to let that happen. His unrecognized philanthropy and quiet humanity is inspiring. He does not look for accolades, he just always quietly does his best. It is folks like my friend who make the world a better place.

My life has been enriched by knowing the many of you who are like my friend. The following poem reminds me of you all.

 

        Outlook

  By Priscilla Leonard

 

Forget each kindness that you do

As soon as you have done it.

Forget the praise that falls to you

The moment you have won it.

Forget the slander that you hear

Before you can repeat it.

Forget each slight, each spite, each sheer

Wherever you may meet it.

 

Remember every kindness done

To you, whate’er its measure.

Remember praise by others won

And pass it on with pleasure.

Remember every promise made

And keep it to the letter.

Remember those who lend you aid

And be a grateful debtor.

 

Remember all the happiness

That comes your way in living.

Forget each worry and distress;

Be hopeful and forgiving.

Remember good, remember truth,

Remember Heaven’s above you,

And you will find, through age and youth,

True joys and hearts to love you.

~~~

Be nice to strangers. Be nice even when it doesn’t matter.

Sam Altman

~~~

A wife, one evening, drew her husband’s attention to the couple next door and said, “Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet.

Why don’t you do that?”

“I would love to,” replied the husband, “but I don’t know her well enough.”

~~~

Mom, I’ll always love you, but I’ll never forgive you for cleaning my face with spit on a hanky.

~~~

So true in the 21st Century …

Our communication – Wireless

Our telephone – Cordless

Our cooking – Fireless

Our youth – Jobless

Our food – Fatless

Our labour – Effortless

Our conduct – Worthless

Our relationship – Loveless

Our attitude – Careless

Our feelings – Heartless

Our politics – Shameless

Our education – Valueless

Our follies – Countless

Our arguments – Baseless

Our boss – Brainless

Our Job – Thankless

Our Salary – Much Less

~~~

“When I die, I want to die like my grandmother who died peacefully in her sleep.

Not screaming like all the passengers in her car.”

~~~

The holiday bowl games were in full swing and we had invited some other football fans over.

One couple brought their active two-year-old son, who began playing with a dish that was filled with antique buttons. After a few near disasters, my husband quietly removed the temptation.

The next morning, I realized the bowl was gone and went upstairs. “Don, where is the button bowl”? I asked my just-awakening husband.

“Gee, I don’t know for sure,” replied my spouse, who prides himself on knowing the answer to any sports trivia question.

“I think it’s in Florida.”

~~~

It is impossible to gain a toehold when acting like a heel.

~~~

She said: Stopping to pick up my daughter from Kindergarten, I found out that the topic of “Show and Tell” that day had been parents’ occupations. The teacher pulled me aside. Whispering, she advised, “You might want to explain a little bit more to your daughter what you do for a living.”

I work as a training consultant and often conduct my seminars in motel conference rooms.

When I asked why, the teacher explained, “Your daughter told the class she wasn’t sure what you did, but said you got dressed real pretty and went to work at motels.”

~~~

Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.

Og Mandino

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Leadership

Ray’s Daily

January 16, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

 

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

John Quincy Adams

leadership

I still have fond memories of my more than thirty years in the computer industry. I was especially proud of the people I worked with. Our team had low turnover, great customer appreciation and employee growth.

We did not strive to only satisfy our customers, we worked to please them. We also did all we could to make everyone around us and below us a success. I had the good fortune to be able to share our philosophy and commitment with other corporate managers in numerous management seminars over the years,

The following edited article describes some of the things we were doing.

10 Things Authentic Leaders Do

by Robin Sharma

Here are 10 things that authentic leaders do on a regular basis:

  1. They speak their truth. In business today, we frequently ‘swallow our truth’. We say things to please others and to look good in front of The Crowd. Authentic leaders are different. They consistently talk truth.
  2. They lead from the heart. Business is about people. Leadership is about people. The best leaders wear their hearts on their sleeves and are not afraid to show their vulnerability. They genuinely care about other people and spend their days developing the people around them.
  3. They have rich moral fiber. Who you are speaks far more loudly than anything you could ever say. Strength of character is true power — and people can feel it a mile away
  4. They are courageous. It takes a lot of courage to go against the crowd. It takes a lot of courage to be a visionary. It takes a lot of inner strength to do what you think is right even though it may not be easy. Authentic leadership is all about taking the road less traveled and doing, not what is easy, but what is right.
  5. They build teams and create communities. One of the primary things that people are looking for in their work experience is a sense of community. Authentic leaders create workplaces that foster human linkages and lasting friendships.
  6. They deepen themselves. The job of the leader is to go deep. Authentic leaders know themselves intimately. They nurture a strong self-relationship. They know their weaknesses and play to their strengths.
  7. They are dreamers. Einstein said that “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” It is from our imaginations that great things are born. Authentic leaders dare to dream impossible dreams.
  8. They care for themselves. Authentic leaders eat well, exercise, and care for the temples that are their bodies.
  9. They commit to excellence rather than perfection. No human being is perfect. Every single one of us is a work in progress. Authentic leaders commit themselves to excellence in everything that they do. They are constantly pushing the envelope and raising their standards.
  10. They leave a legacy. To live in the hearts of the people around you is to never die. Success is wonderful, but significance is even better. You were made to contribute and to leave a mark on the people around you. Authentic leaders are constantly building their legacies by adding deep value to everyone that they deal with and leaving the world a better place in the process.

~~~

“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

~~~

The Wonders of God

A boy was sitting on a park bench with one hand resting on an open Bible. He was loudly exclaiming his praise to God. “Hallelujah! Hallelujah! God is great!” he yelled without worrying whether anyone heard him or not.

Along came a man who had recently completed some studies at a local university. Feeling himself very enlightened in the ways of truth and very eager to show this enlightenment, he asked the boy about the source of his joy.

The boy replied with a bright laugh, “Don’t you have any idea what God is able to do? I just read that God opened up the waves of the Red Sea and led the whole nation of Israel right through the middle. “The enlightened man laughed lightly, sat down next to the boy, and began to try to open his eyes to the “realities” behind the miracles of the Bible. “That can all be very easily explained. Modern scholarship has shown that the Red Sea in that area was only 10-inches deep at that time. It was no problem for the Israelites to wade across.”

The boy was stumped. His eyes wandered from the man back to the Bible lying open in his lap. The man, content that he had enlightened a poor, naive young person to the finer points of scientific insight, turned to go. Scarcely had he taken two steps when the boy began to rejoice and praise louder than before. The man turned to ask the reason for this resumed jubilation.

“Wow!” Exclaimed the boy happily, “God is greater than I thought! Not only did He lead the whole nation of Israel through the Red Sea, He topped it off by drowning the whole Egyptian army in 10 inches of water!”

~~~

When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’

Sydney J. Harris

~~~

I learned a lesson in marketing from a man who bought an old boat, a trailer and a motor from me. “Thanks,” he said as he loaded them up. “I’m planning to resell them.”

Good luck, I thought. I had been trying to get rid of them for months. But when I ran into him a few weeks later, he’d sold everything.

“How did you manage that?” I marveled.

“I took out an ad: ‘Heavy-duty boat trailer with free boat.’ When the buyer came to get it, I asked if he had a motor. He said no. I told him I happened to have one in my garage. Bought that, too.”

~~~

“A good objective of leadership is to help those who are doing poorly to do well and to help those who are doing well to do even better.”

Jim Rohn

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Smile

Ray’s Daily

January 15, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

A smile is a great way to start off your day. Good Morning.

smile

I have been invigorated by the many acts of kindness that I see around me these days. My elderly friends exhibit a high degree of compassion and understanding as they interact with their fellow residents. A caring server will read the evening menu items to those with limited sight and help them make choices.

We are not surrounded by the strident angry folks that seem to be so common these days. These are people who care for themselves and for those around them and we are lucky to know them. I just wish their kindness would infect everyone else in our nation.

Here are some things that I think are worthy of our attention.

Good Thoughts

Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.

To handle yourself, use your head, To handle others, use your heart.

Anger is one letter short of danger.

If someone betrays you once, it’s his fault. If they betray you twice, it’s your fault.

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.

God gives every bird it’s food, but He does not throw it into its nest.

He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses more.

Beautiful young people are acts of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

The tongue weighs practically nothing, but so few people can hold it.

Friends, you and me…you brought another friend, and then there were 3.

We started our group…Our circle of friends…and like that circle, there is no beginning…there is no end.

~~~

Here’s to the people who always have a smile on their face and no matter what they’re going through, they put others before them.

~~~

My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

~~~

She said: Curious when I found two black-and-white negatives in a drawer, I had them made into prints. I was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of a younger, slimmer me, taken on one of my first dates with my husband. When I showed him the photos, his face lit up. “Wow, look at that!” he said with appreciation. “It’s my old Plymouth!”

~~~

Regrets and recriminations only hurt your soul.

Armand Hammer

~~~

THE TODDLER’S RULES

* If it is on, I must turn it off.

* If it is off, I must turn it on.

* If it is folded, I must unfold it.

* If it is liquid, it must be shaken then spilled.

* If it is solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.

* If it is high, it must be reached.

* If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.

* If it is pointed, it must be run with full speed.

* If it has leaves, they must be picked.

* If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.

* If it is trash, it must be removed, inspected and thrown on the floor.

* If it is closed, it must be opened.

* If it does not open, it must be screamed at.

* If it has drawers, they must be rifled.

* If it is a pen or pencil, it must write on refrigerator, monitor, TV or table.

* If it is full, it will be more interesting empty.

* If it is empty, it must be more interesting full.

* If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.

* If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.

* If it is a paper, it must be torn.

* If it has switches, they must be pressed.

* If the volume is low, it must go high.

* If it is a bug, it must be swallowed. If it doesn’t stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.

* If it is not food, it must be tasted.

* If it is food, it must not be tasted.

* If it is dry, it must be made wet.

~~~

“I’m dating a guy who’s twenty-one. That’s seven in boy years.”

Lisa Goich

~~~

An evangelist had a great revival camp going.  One night he was up in front of a large audience, speaking on imperfection.  He asked his audience towards the end, “Has anyone ever known anyone who has come CLOSE to the perfection of our lord, Jesus Christ?”  Nobody, of course raised their hand.  So he issued the question again.  “Anybody! Has ANYONE ever known that kind of perfection?”

Finally a guy in the back raised his hand, so of course he was asked to stand up. “Tell us.  Tell us who you knew who was so close to perfection.”

The man responded, “My wife’s first husband.”

~~~

How would your life be different if you stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day you look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.

Steve Maraboli

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Let’s make it a good one

Ray’s Daily

January 14, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.

Grandma Moses

new week

Here we go again another week. We had over seven inches of snow this weekend but since we had no need to go out, we were fine. The bad news was the Indianapolis Colts football team ended their season with a loss to Kansas City. The good news is that my broken toe continues to heal and we are well.

I kick off my week with a lunch with an old friend who has her Doctorate in Nutrition, we are going to an especially healthy restaurant to catch up. Tomorrow I am off to the Doctors to see if I have healed enough to get out of my therapeutic boot.

I don’t know about you but at my age I realize I need to make the most of the weeks I have left, time seems to fly faster as the weeks go by. Here are some edited suggestions on how we make our weeks great.

7 Tips to Make This A Great Week

by Peter Clemens

Well Monday is here again. While this of course means the weekend is over, it also means a new week of unlimited potential lies ahead. The following are 7 ideas that will help you have a happy, productive and meaningful week:

  1. Set Goals – Ideally on Sunday (but Monday is ok), I like to take some time out to think about the week ahead. I follow Dr Covey’s approach to goal-setting as outlined in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. This involves the following:

Identifying Roles: identify the key roles in your life. If you haven’t given this much thought before, just write down what immediately comes to mind. Some of my roles, for example, are: father, husband, blogger, employee, and uncle.

Selecting Goals: next think of 2 or 3 important things you would like to accomplish in each of these roles in the coming week.

Scheduling: this basically involves taking the above goals, and scheduling time to do them. Be flexible though – in most cases some daily adapting is also needed.

  1. Get the Most Out of Every Day– This may sound like a cliche, but each and every day is a gift. Don’t indefinitely delay happiness in your life or settle for being bored. Be inspired. Live with vitality. Enjoy life every day.
  2. Do That Thing You Are Resisting – Almost everyone has at least one thing that they are resisting. Perhaps it is fixing something around the house, making an important phone call or re-starting the exercise habit. Get that thing done, and you will be sure to feel to feel as if you have accomplished something this week.
  3. Nurture Your Relationships – I truly believe that happiness is highly dependent on the quality of our relationships with other people. So be committed to nurturing these relationships.
  4. Stretch Yourself – Stretch yourself by trying something new this week.
  5. Be Disciplined – Starting the week by setting goals is a bit like making new year’s eve resolutions: they are easy to make, but as time progresses it can be hard to capture the same motivation that was present when you first made them.
  6. Make a Difference – This week commit to making a positive difference in the world. Even the following small actions can make a big difference in the life of another person and/ or the world:

Recycle

Plant a tree

Volunteer your time for a good cause

~~~

Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.

Albert Einstein

~~~

A man asks his guru, “Do you have anything that stops the aging process?”

The guru responds, “Sure. What kind of disease would you like?”

~~~

A husband and wife were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error. “I’ll admit I’m wrong,” the wife told her husband in a conciliatory attempt, “if you’ll admit I’m right.”

He agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted she go first.

“I’m wrong,” she said.

With a twinkle in his eye, he responded, “You’re right!”

~~~

My home church welcomes all denominations, but really prefers tens and twenties.

~~~

They tell me that:

Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don’t “HAVE” them but “PITCH” them.

Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up “a mess.”

Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of “yonder.”

Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long “directly” is – as in, “Going to town, be back directly.”

Even Southern babies know that “Gimme some sugar” is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.

All true Southerners know exactly when “by and by” is.  They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad.  (If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin’!)

Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between “right near” and “a right far piece.” They also know that “just down the road” can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol’ boy, and po’ white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A true Southerner knows that “fixin'” can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines.  We don’t do “queues,” we do “lines”; and when we’re “in line,” we talk to everybody!

Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they are related, even if only by marriage.

True Southerners never refer to one person as “y’all.”

True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every true Southerner knows that eating tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee is perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food and that fried green tomatoes are not.

When you hear someone say, “Well, I caught myself lookin’… ,” you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say “sweet tea” and “sweet milk.” Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it – we do not like our tea unsweetened.  “Sweet milk” means you don’t want buttermilk.

Only true Southerners ask for “light bread.” That means you don’t want cornbread or biscuits.

And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway.  You just say, “Bless her heart” and go your own way!

 

~~~

Each Monday is a canvas and only you choose with which colors you’ll paint it, you create your own mood.

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Lucky Me

Ray’s Daily

January 11, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

Life without friendship is like the sky without the sun.

friends

I am off this morning to a very early breakfast with a relatively new friend. Earlier this week I had lunch with a highly regarded community leader who I greatly admire. And yesterday I lunched with an old friend who is an author, editor, teacher and social commentator.

These friends and those here in my new residence keep my days stimulating and interesting. The older I get the more I realize that the material things offer little when compared to human companionship. The lack of many things I once had has allowed me to place more value on what I do have, especially my friends.

 

Friends

Author Unknown

  • Friends love you tops when you are at the bottom.
  • Friends look up to you when the rest of the world is looking down.
  • Friends lets you step on their toes to help you get on your feet.
  • Friends show you the meaning of true friendship, not the meaningless of it.
  • Friends shoot straight with you, not at you.
  • Friends know most of your faults and care the least.
  • Friends tell you when you are wrong, and not everybody else.
  • Friends don’t complain when you neglect them, only when you neglect yourself.
  • Friends let you worry them more than their enemies.
  • Friends want to know about your achievements as well as your losses.
  • Friends are behind you when you’re taking bows and beside you when taking boos.
  • Friends don’t split with you, when you flop, but split what they have.
  • Friends are your best press agents and they do this for free.
  • Friends have no greater love than to lay down their lives for their Friends.

Thank you for being my Friend.

~~~

A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.

~~~

A man and woman were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.

“Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad,” gushed son number one… “Sorry I’m running late… had an emergency, you know how it is, didn’t have time to get you both a present.”

Not to worry,” said the dad…”the important thing is that we’re all here together today.”

Son number two arrived and announced, “You and Mom still look great, Dad. Just flew in from L.A. and didn’t have time to get you a present… Sorry.”

It’s nothing,” said the father, “Glad you were able to be here.”

Just then the daughter arrived, “Hello both of you, Happy Anniversary! I’m sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing… so I didn’t have time to get you guys anything.”

Again the father said, “I really don’t care, at least the five of us are together today.”

After they had all finished dessert, the father put down his knife and fork, looked up and said, “Listen up, all three of you, there’s something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to raise each of you and send you to college. All through the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much but… we just never found the time to get married.”

The three kids gasp and said, “You mean we’re bastards?”

“Yep,” said the dad…”and cheap ones too!”

~~~

My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

~~~

Three businessmen were having dinner at a club. When it came time to pay the check, each grabbed for it.

“It’s a business expense,” said one.

“I’ll pay,” said the second. “I’m on cost plus.”

“Let me have it,” argued the third. “I’m filing for bankruptcy next week.”

~~~

She:  “I’m not looking to get involved with one particular guy right now.”

He: “Well, luckily for you, I’m not exactly known for being particular.”

~~~

She said: For years my husband denied he was an aggressive driver. That changed one day when we were out for a ride with our three-year-old, Matthew. Seeing a teaching opportunity, I began quizzing Matthew about traffic lights.

“What does a red light mean?” I asked.

“Stop.”

“How about green?”

“Go.”

“And yellow?”

In his best impression of Daddy, Matthew bellowed, “Hang on!”

~~~

Happiness is the delicate balance between what one is and what one has.

H. Denison

~~~

She said: One of my third-graders came to school crying. “Jonathan’s upset because he couldn’t complete his math homework,” his mother explained.

“Why’s that?” I asked.

“Unfortunately,” she said, “our computer doesn’t have Roman numerals.”

~~~

He who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger.

Japanese proverb

~~~

She said: As a switchboard operator in one of Philadelphia’s busiest hotels, I often relay messages to guests.

One evening a gentleman called me because the message light on his phone was flashing. “This is Mr. Grant in Room 1162. Do you have a message for me?”

“Yes,” I replied, “the message is from Sue. She says she loves you and misses you.”

There was silence on the other end before he asked, “Did she leave a last name?”

~~~

I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy.

Charles R. Swindoll

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Those were the days

Ray’s Daily

January 10, 2018

https://rays-daily.com/

Travel, in the younger sort, is a part of education; in the elder, a part of experience.

Francis Bacon

ship

Good morning. I was so busy yesterday with calls from realtors wanting to sell our condo (we already have a realtor), a special luncheon and more that I did not get much else done. I am going dipping into the past and sending you what I wrote when we still cruised.

Ray’s Daily first published on January 10, 2005

There will only be four issues of our daily this week. I leave early Friday morning for Puerto Rico, were I will pick up a ship after a short stay on the island. After the cruise I am off to Central Florida for fun, frolic, and reminiscing with old friends. I will return to Indianapolis the first week in February when I will again start up the presses. Since my mailboxes load up quickly it probably is not a good idea to send me anything while I am gone. I will not have access to e-mail until late January.

This and That

  • Thanks to all who have been asking about my wife’s medical tests. The results were negative, she still has some yet to be explained symptoms, but potentially serious causes have been ruled out. The search for answers will continue when we return in February.
  • Jordan, one of my granddaughters, celebrated her tenth birthday on Saturday by finishing first all-around in a multi-state gymnastic meet held in Michigan. She continues to demonstrate that heredity is not everything.
  • Annie, please stay well, your patients need you, and I will see you when I get back.
  • Bob and Don, I look forward to seeing you while in Florida. It is important for us to get together once in a while since who knows how much longer we will be able to remember the past with at least some semblance of accuracy.
  • Terry has a back problem, Theresa has a back problem, Kelsey is mending, and there are many more of you that need to recover while I am gone, please do. By the way the large number of friends and acquaintances that have medical problems is not necessarily because of their ages, but rather due to their brilliant personalities.
  • When I am aboard ship, away from the world, I seldom learn what is going on. I would appreciate your solving all of the problems while I am gone so I can come back to a more peaceful world.

~~~

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.

Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.

Mark Twain

~~~

Having lived in Minnesota years ago I can appreciate the perils of Lena and Ole.

  • Lena called the airlines information desk and inquired, “How long does it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo?”  “Just a minute,” said the busy clerk.  “Vell, said Lena, “if it has to go dat fast, I tink I’ll just take da bus.”
  • The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. He said to Ole, “I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support.” “Vell, dat’s fine, Judge,” said Ole.  “And vunce in a while I’ll try to chip in a few bucks, myself.”
  • Ole is so cheap that after his airplane landed safely he grumbled, “Vell, dere gose five dollars down da drain for dat flight insurance!”
  • Lars: “Ole, stant in front of my car and tell me if da turn signals are working”.  Ole: “Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes, No….”
  • Ole and Lena got married.  On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena’s knee.  Giggling, Lena said, “Ole, you can go a little farther now if ya vant to.”  So Ole drove to Duluth.
  • Ole died.  So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries.  The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole.  Lena replied, “You yust put ‘Ole died.'”   The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, “That’s it?  Just ‘Ole died?’ Surely, there must be something more you’d like to say about Ole.  If it’s money you’re concerned about, the first five words are free.  We must say something more.”  So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said, “O.K. You put ‘Ole died.  Boat for sale.’ “
  • Ole and Lena went to the Olympics.  While sitting on a bench a lady turned to Ole and said, “Are you a pole vaulter?”  Ole said, “No, I’m Norvegian…and my name isn’t Valter.”

~~~

“No man is happy who does not think himself so.”

Publilius Syrus

~~~

A porter loaded down with suitcases followed the couple to the airline check-in counter.

As they approached the line, the husband glanced at the pile of luggage and said to the wife, “Why didn’t you bring the piano, too?”

“Are you trying to be funny?” she replied.

“No,” he sighed forlornly. “I left the tickets on it.”

~~~

Mary:  My last ex mastered the art of having the last word in an argument.

Jill:  You’re kidding!

Mary:  I’m not!  He learned to say, “I’m sorry!”

~~~

Carolyn asks, did any of you married people out there ever wonder whether it’s better to have loved and lost, than to have loved and won?

~~~

Mrs. Goldberg was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood.  She approached the vendor and asked, “How much are these oranges?”

“Two for a quarter,” answered the vendor.

“How much is just one?” she asked.

“Fifteen cents,” answered the vendor.

“Then I’ll take the other one,” said Mrs. Goldberg.

~~~

He said: As we grow older, do we tend to gesture more or less with our hands while talking?

She said: Ask me one more growing old riddle and I’ll give you a gesture you won’t forget in a hurry.

~~~

You Know You’re Getting Old When

  • you find yourself standing next to your car with your keys in your hand, but you can’t remember whether you’re going somewhere, or you just got back.
  • you walk out to the parking lot of the mall, and not only did you forget where you parked, but you forgot what car you were driving.
  • your daughter takes you out to dinner, and the cashier takes one look and gives you both Senior discounts.
  • everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.
  • when you raise your arm, and you find your “muscle” is now on the bottom side.
  • when you sit down to the breakfast table, and the snap, crackle, pop you hear isn’t your breakfast cereal.
  • when you bend over to tie your shoes and ask yourself, “Is there anything else I need to do while I’m down here?”

~~~

You know you’re getting old when you order stewed prunes and the waiter say, “excellent choice!”

~~~

For over 40 years, he put in long hours at his job, so I was more than a little curious about the way he filled his days since his retirement. “How has life changed?” I asked.

A man of few words, he replied, “Well, I get up in the morning with nothing to do, and I go to bed at night with it half-done.”

~~~

My favorite thing is to go where I have never gone.

Diane Arbus

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

Thank You

Ray’s Daily

January 9, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

 

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

Marcel Proust

thank you

I am really appreciative of so many of you who have brightened my life over the years. I am especially grateful for all my children and their families have done for Nancy and me in recent years. They helped us choose where we will spend our old age together. They planned the move, installed the furniture and made our new home a great place to live. I have a den/office loaded with memorabilia from my past, a spacious living area, comfortable bed room and even a small kitchen.

If that wasn’t enough, our meals are provided in a warm dining room and we are surrounded by friendly people and a caring staff. As we age it is easy to fear what the unknown future holds, my children have helped us get on a path that has eliminated any fears we did have. Thank you, Debbie, Terry and Tracy for all you have done for us,

The following piece reminded me of my children as well as of many of you

Whose list are you on?

It’s the thing about caring for people. They get into your life, sometimes briefly, and manage to become a part of who you are. Not all people, but those special individuals who arrive unexpectedly and linger there.

How does it happen?

They are the ones who, the first time you meet them, touch you in such a way that they leave an imprint on your heart. They are the people you look for and hope to meet along the way. They make the journey easier. Some become close friends and share everyday happenings in your life. Others just pass through leaving behind bits and pieces of who they are.

Then there are those who are always there, but off in the distance somewhere within reach whenever you need them. You may only see them once in awhile, but when you do you are made better, lifted up, energized by the time you shared with them.’

After reading this I thought about the many people in my life who fit into this group. I realized how many people I depend on each day, sometimes just to get through it. I am blessed beyond measure.

It also brought up this question…

‘Am I one of those people?’

Wouldn’t it be great if we could become more like the people we personally depend on?

Like the old, ‘If you want a good friend, be one.’ or, ‘Be the change you want to see in the world.’

Written by Bob Perks

~~~

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

Melody Beattie

~~~

Flying Rules

  1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
  2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
  3. Flying isn’t dangerous. Crashing is what’s dangerous.
  4. It’s always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
  5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.
  6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
  7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
  8. A ‘good’ landing is one from which you can walk away. A ‘great’ landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
  9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won’t live long enough to make all of them yourself.
  10. You know you’ve landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
  11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.
  12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn’t get to five minutes earlier.
  13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
  14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you’ve made.
  15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
  16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
  17. Helicopters can’t fly; they’re just so ugly the earth repels them.
  18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that’s going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
  19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
  20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.
  21. It’s always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
  22. Keep looking around. There’s always something you’ve missed.
  23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It’s the law. And it’s not subject to repeal.
  24. The four most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, gas back at the airport, and a tenth of a second ago.
  25. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old, bold pilots.

~~~

“The healthiest people are often those who laugh at themselves. No wonder, laughter is the best medicine.”

~~~

A medieval astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress would soon die.  Sure enough, the woman died a short time later.  The king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman’s death.  He summoned the astrologer and commanded him: “Tell me when you will die!”

The astrologer realized that the king was planning to kill him immediately, no matter what answer he gave.  “I do not know when I will die,” he answered finally.  “I only know that whenever I die, the king will die three days later….”

~~~

“Happiness cannot be traveled to be owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.”

Denis Waitley

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

All is Well

Ray’s Daily

January 8, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

Live life to the fullest, and focus on the positive.

Matt Cameron

be positive

You have often heard me say that in every adverse situation there are benefits. While still on the road to recovery from my recent intestinal illness I did lose 6 pounds and in only 4 days. While effective I don’t recommend it as a diet. Now I can concentrate on healing my broken toe.

One good thing is that everything will be uphill from here. I look forward to the months ahead and dealing with whatever comes. I like what Angel Chernoff published recently and intend to follow her advice.

 19 Powerful Affirmations We Should Say to Ourselves in 2019

  1. “The biggest and most complex obstacle I will ever have to overcome is my mind.  If I can overcome that, I can overcome anything.”
  2. “I cannot control exactly what happens in life, but I can control how I respond to it all.  In my response is my greatest power.”
  3. “I have to accept whatever comes my way, and the only important thing is that I meet it with the best I have to give.”
  4. “I will stop focusing on how stressed I am and remember how blessed I am.  Complaining won’t change my reality, but a positive attitude will.”
  5. “Being positive does not mean ignoring the negative.  Being positive means overcoming the negative.  There is a big difference between the two.”
  6. “I will not get caught up in what could’ve been or should’ve been.  I will look instead at the power and possibility of what is, right now.”
  7. “I am not a product of my circumstances.  I am a product of my decisions.  It’s about not letting my fear decide my future.”
  8. “I will get back up.  Again, and again.  The faster I recover from setbacks, the faster I’ll get to where I’m going in life.”
  9. “My next step in the right direction does not have to be a big one.”
  10. “Patience is a genuine expression of confidence, acceptance, serenity, and faith in my own ability.  It’s a sign of strength.  I will practice it.”
  11. “When I find that I don’t have time for what matters, I will stop doing things that don’t.”
  12. “I can always feel the genuine, positive power that flows from my decision to rise above the petty drama and distractions that don’t really matter anyway.”
  13. “Instead of getting angry, I will find the lesson.  In place of envy, I will feel admiration.  In place of worry, I will take positive action.  In place of doubt, I will have faith.”
  14. “There’s nothing selfish about self-care and self-love.  I can’t give what I don’t have.  When I enrich my own life, I’ll be life-giving to others too.”
  15. “When the grass looks greener on the other side, it’s just life’s way of reminding me to water the grass I’m standing on.”
  16. “From now on I will be too busy watering my own grass to notice if yours is greener.”
  17. “I will focus on making myself better, not on thinking I am better.”
  18. “I will practice gratitude, even in the midst of frustration and despair, so I can better see the positive possibilities around me.”
  19. “Happiness does not start when ‘this, that or the other’ thing is resolved.  Happiness is what happens now, when I make the best of what I have.”

~~~

“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.”

Marcus Aurelius

~~~

At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, “We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate 41.” So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41.

Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35. So again we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.

Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: “Thank you for participating in Delta’s physical fitness program.”

~~~

Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.

Maya Angelou

~~~

The passengers on a cruise ship were fascinated by the sight of a bedraggled, bearded man on a small island.  The ship passed slowly by as he desparately shouted and waved his arms.

“Who is that person on the island?” one of the passengers asked a ship’s officer…

“I have no idea,” mused the officer “but every year when we pass that island he goes crazy.”

~~~

I travel a lot; I hate having my life disrupted by routine.

Caskie Stinnett

~~~

Cruise Directors STOLEN Jokes

If you’ve ever cruised, you’ll recognize these jokes, or if you just going, listen for them!

The first time you see your cabin, you say, “What could be smaller than this?”   Then you open the bathroom door!

“The pool must be ocean water.   Look at the size of the waves.”

“Do these stairs go up or down?”

“Does the crew sleep on board?” (No, we tow them in the life boats.) ”

“Do the ship generate it’s own electricity?” (No, we pull an extension cord from Miami.)

“Is there music in the Disco?”

“What time is the Midnight Buffet?”

~~~

If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fears.

Cesare Pavese

~~~

A newlywed couple, after bringing their luggage into their cabin, stormed down to the desk. The bride was in tears, and the groom was red faced. When asked what the problem was, the groom started swearing at the desk clerk. “We booked a cabin with a view for our honeymoon, and all we get to see out the window is a parking lot!”

~~~

“We don’t see the things the way they are. We see things the way WE are.”

Talmud

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

 

 

On the Mend

Ray’s Daily

January 7, 2019

https://rays-daily.com/

“When you feel good about yourself, you inevitably increase your self-worth.”

Lebo Grand

 happy

I have spent most of the last few days either in the bathroom dealing with intestinal problems or in bed restoring my energy. The only good thing was it took my mind off of my broken toe.

Now it is a new week and I am on the mend.

I intend the days ahead to be happy and productive. Brian Tracy wrote an article that reminded me that it is the virtuous how are the happiest. I agree. Here is what the wrote.

Be Happy and Feel Good

Aristotle, perhaps the greatest of all the philosophers, broke new ground in thinking when he determined that all of human action is aimed at achieving the happiness of the individual.  He said that we are all the same in this one respect.  We all seek happiness, however we define it.  Everything you do is merely a step in the direction of achieving the ultimate happiness you seek. Aristotle did not stop there.  He went on to point out that only the good can be happy, and only the virtuous can be good.  Therefore, all happiness is determined by the ability of the individual to establish and live by values and virtues that are life enhancing.

From the earliest days of civilization, the purpose of an education was to instill values into the character of the young.  For the first 200 years of American historical development, it was understood that the purpose of the schools was to teach values and the purpose of the home was to teach religion.  Young people were instructed by reading the stories, poems and plays of men and women in previous time periods who most demonstrated and illustrated the values by which that person should live if a person wanted to have a happy life.

Aristotle went on to point out that, if you have been brought up without clear values, you can develop values by deciding upon the kind of person you want to be and then by acting as if you had the values that that person would have.

Sculpt Your Life and Your Future

The wonderful thing about being a human being is that you are free to shape and sculpt your own character.  You can make new choices and decisions at any time of life, especially with regard to your values, and begin acting as if you had those values already.

Perhaps the measure essence of happiness is your ability to achieve the three common goals of self-respect, self-esteem and personal pride that everyone wants.  It is only when you have these three in sufficient quantities that you feel really good about yourself.

~~~

“Using your talent, hobby or profession in a way that makes you contribute with something good to this world is truly the way to go.”

Simon Zingerman

~~~

A disappointed salesman of Coca-Cola returns from his Middle East assignment. A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Arabs ?”

The salesman explained, “When I got posted in the Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem I didn’t know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters…First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand… totally exhausted and panting. Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place”

“That should have worked,” said the friend.

The salesman replied, “Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn’t realize that Arabs read from right to left…”

~~~

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”

Thomas A. Edison

~~~

A harried driving instructor came home from work, kicked off his shoes, and fell into a chair. “I’m thinking of taking six or seven of my students to England,” he said.

“What on earth for?” his wife asked.

“It might make them feel good to see what it’s like to drive on the left side of the road-legally.”

~~~

Failure is the greatest opportunity I have to know who I really am.

John Killinger

~~~

It was election time and a politician decided to go out to the local reservation and try to get the Native American vote.

They were all assembled in the Council Hall to hear his speech.  The politician had worked up to his finale, and the crowd was getting more and more excited.

“I promise better education opportunities for Native Americans!”

The crowd went wild, shouting “Hoya!  Hoya!”

The politician was a bit puzzled by this native word, but was encouraged by their enthusiasm. So he continued on.

“I promise gambling reforms to allow a Casino on the Reservation!”

“Hoya!  Hoya!” cried the crowd, stomping their feet.

“I promise more social reforms and job opportunities for Native Americans!”

The crowd reached a frenzied pitch shouting “Hoya! Hoya!  Hoya!”

After the speech, the Politician was touring the Reservation, and saw a tremendous herd of cattle.  Since he was raised on a ranch, and knew a bit about cattle, he asked the Chief if he could get closer to take a look at the cattle.

“Oh, sure…” the Chief said, “but just be careful not to step in the hoya.”

~~~

The brighter you are, the more you have to learn.

Don Herold

~~~

Becky is having lunch with Hannah.

Becky says, “My Morris is just impossible. Absolutely nothing pleases him. Tell me, Hannah, is your Harold hard to please?”

Hannah shrugs and replies, “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never tried.”

~~~

Sign outside the Red Horse Saloon:  Cheap T-Bone Steaks, 99 cents….w/meat, $10.99.

~~~

“Mollie, how is your sister?  I heard she is very ill.”

“Sadie, my sister is impossible.  I never told you but we have been on the outs for as far as I can remember.  Last Tuesday, my son begged me to see her.  So, let me tell you.  When I stood next to her bed, she had the nerve to say, “Mollie, I just want to let you know that if I die you’re forgiven for all you’ve done to me.  But, if I get well, things remain the same!”

~~~

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass… It’s about learning how to dance in the rain.

Vivian Greene

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

The Year Ahead

Ray’s Daily

January 4, 2018

https://rays-daily.com/

“The foolish seek happiness in the distance; the wise grow it under their feet.”

James Oppenheim

best

For the past month I have been treated with antibiotics to cure a foot infection. Day before yesterday it was determined that I did not have an infection I have a broken toe. So I am now wearing a boot and hopefully will be pain free soon.

I don’t know about you but I have set limited goals for this year. My most important activity will be the care of my wife. I do plan to be as good a friend as I can be, helping when I can and disappointing as few folks as I can,

Here is a list of reminders to help me succeed,

Thoughts For The Day

By Galaxian

Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

A sharp tongue can cut your own throat.

If you want your dreams to come true, you mustn’t oversleep.

Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge.

One thing you can give and still keep…is your word.

You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself

If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.  So love the people who treat you right, and forget about the ones who don’t.

~~~

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.

Henry Ellis

~~~

Teacher to class: “Give me a sentence with a direct object.”

Student: “Everybody thinks our teacher is beautiful.”

Teacher: “Why, thank you. But what is the direct object?”

Student: “A good report card.”

~~~

Don’t worry that children never listen to you. Worry that they are always watching you.

Robert Fulghum

~~~

Best ‘Out of Office’ Automatic Email Replies:

  1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
  2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
  3. Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
  4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
  5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
  6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over…)
  7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
  8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
  9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.
  10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ‘Lucille’ instead of Steve.

~~~

My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

Steven Wright

~~~

“Mr. Chilton,” the analyst said, “I think this will be your last visit.”

“Does that mean I’m cured?” he asked.

“For all practical purposes, yes,” she said. “I think we can safely say that your kleptomania is now under control. You haven’t stolen anything in two years, and you seem to know where the kleptomania came from.”

“Well, that’s terrific, Doctor. Before I go, I’d like to tell you something. Although our relationship is strictly professional, it’s been one of the most rewarding of my life. I wish I could do something to repay you for helping me.”

“You’ve paid my fee,” the doctor said. “That’s the only responsibility you have.”

“I know,” Chilton said. “But isn’t there some personal favor I could do for you?”

“Well,” the doctor said, “I’ll tell you what. If you ever suffer a relapse, my son could use a nice portable color television.”

~~~

Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.

~~~

As the passengers settled in on a West Coast commuter flight a flight attendant announced, “We’d like you folks to help us welcome our new co-pilot. He’ll be performing his first commercial landing for us today, so be sure to give him a big round of applause when we come to a stop.”

The plane made an extremely bumpy landing, bouncing hard two or three times before taxiing to a stop. Still, the passengers applauded. Then the attendant’s voice came over the intercom, “Thanks for flying with us. And don’t forget to let our co-pilot know which landing you liked best.”

~~~

Right actions for the future are the best apologies for wrong ones in the past.

Tyron Edwards

~~~

The tourist in London climbed into a cab and noticed by the license that his cab driver’s name was Winston Churchill. Trying to make conversation, he said, “I see your name is Winston Churchill.”

The driver simply said, “Yep. That’s my moniker.”

The passenger, not willing to give up yet on some banter, said, “That’s a pretty famous name.”

The driver responded with, “As well it should be too. I’ve been driving a cab here for over forty years!”

~~~

“Don’t be too hard on yourself. There are plenty of people willing to do that for you. Love yourself and be proud of everything that you do. Even mistakes mean you’re trying.”

Susan Gale

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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