Ray's musings and humor

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Ray’s Daily

December 27, 3018

https://rays-daily.com/

The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does.

James M. Barrie

Happy

I am glad it is the season to be jolly, I need that to offset the current turmoil. Our country can’t seem to stay on tract these days. The shifting sands have driven the value of our nest egg down and the future is uncertain.

Fortunately the last few days of good times with friends and family have been uplifting. The chef’s in our residence’s restaurant outdid themselves, serving us a prime rib lunch with two of my favorite desserts on Christmas day. We also feasted with family and friends on Christmas Eve followed by dinner and gift exchange with our family on Christmas day.

I hope you enjoyed the last few days as much as we did. I intend to not let current events get me down in the days ahead, concentrating on all the good things in my life. In that vein I want to share with a favorite feel good story today.

The Master’s Hand

Wishing to encourage her young son’s progress on the piano, a mother took the small boy to a concert of the famous pianist, Paderewski. After they were seated, the mother spotted a friend in the audience and walked down the aisle to greet her. Seizing the opportunity to explore the wonders of the concert hall, the little boy rose and eventually explored his way through a door marked “No Admittance.”

When the house lights dimmed and the concert was about to begin, the mother returned to her seat and discovered that her son was missing. Suddenly, the curtains parted and the spotlights focused on the impressive Steinway piano on stage.

In horror, the mother saw her little boy sitting at the keyboard. Innocently, he then began to play “Chopsticks”.  The crowd reacted with anger, some shouts were heard, “Take the boy away!”, “Who is bringing a little boy to a concert?!”.

When Paderewski heard the uproar backstage, he grabbed his coat and rushed to the stage. Realizing what was going on, he went to the piano, Reaching around the little boy from behind, the master began to improvise a countermelody to “chopsticks.” As the two of them played together, Paderewski kept whispering in the boy’s ear, “Keep going. Don’t quit, son… don’t stop… don’t stop.”

Together, the old master and the little boy transformed an embarrassing situation into a wonderfully creative experience. The audience was mesmerized

~~~

Cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity.

Joseph Addison

~~~

I came home one night and my wife was crying.

I said, “what’s wrong?”

She said, “I’m home sick.”

I said, “This is your home.”

And she said, “Yes, and I’m sick of it!”

             Tommy Cooper

~~~

Depend on the rabbit’s foot if you will, but remember it didn’t work for the rabbit.

~~~

Jacob, Benny, Max and Hyman are out fishing early one Sunday morning. After an hour of fishing, Jacob suddenly breaks the silence and says, “You three have no idea what I had to do before I could come out fishing today. I had to promise my Rivkah that I would decorate our bedroom next Sunday.”

“That’s nothing,” says Benny, “I had to promise my Leah that I would build her a new terrace by the swimming pool.”

“Well,” says Max, “you both had it easy. I had to promise my Sharon that I would completely refit our kitchen with new mahogany cupboards and the latest state of the art equipment.”

But Hyman has not said a word so they ask him what he did to come out fishing. Hyman replies, “I just set my alarm for 5.30 am. When it went off, I gave my Faye a firm nudge and said, ‘Fishing or Sex?’ She replied, “Don’t forget your sweater.”

~~~

“We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence is therefore not an act, but a habit.”

Aristotle

~~~

The interviewer had informed the group of applicants for the sole position advertised at the bank, that there would be a verbal question after the written test to guarantee a winner in the event there were any ties.

After the applicants took the written part of the exam, it was announced by the interviewer, “Now it is time for the verbal part of your employment test.” “Can you tell me what ‘gross aggrandized annuity means’?”

One of the applicants for the position, said, as he got up to leave, “Certainly……It means I didn’t get the job.”

~~~

While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded.

Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.

~~~

You don’t have to spend your money on expensive burglar alarms anymore.

Here is a cheaper way to deter burglars at your house. Just put up a few signs in well-placed locations….

Dear Mr. Butcher: starting tomorrow, please leave ten pounds of meat for Brutus. Six pounds only makes him angry and vicious!

Dear Mr. Exterminator: be very careful when you go inside! The termites have eaten through most of the floorboards already and you will fall into the basement where all of the rats are that we want you to rid us of.

To whom it may concern: Some of the items in this house have been engraved with Federal Identification Numbers. Others have merely been wired to explode when touched. Good luck…..heh heh!!

Selma dear, don’t come in! Jake, the boa constrictor got loose again!

~~~

To live long and achieve happiness, cultivate the art of radiating happiness.

Malcolm Forbes

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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