Ray's musings and humor

Thank You Charles

Ray’s Daily

December 20. 2018

https://rays-daily.com/

Life is like an ice-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time.

Charles M. Schulz

 schultz2

It seems like I have more effect on the world than I thought I did. Since I am now residing in an Independent Living facility with no automobile I have been unable to get to my local Omaha Steak store for my frequent purchase of their products, Neither have I been able to get to my local YMCA for my workouts using my membership paid for by my insurance company. You can imagine my dismay when I learned that the Steak store is closing in a few weeks and that my insurance company will cease offering free Y memberships next year, I hope it was not because of my lack of participation.

I am not sure why they call my current home an Independent Living Facility since I am dependent on them for my food, housekeeping, health management, entertainment and more. Whatever it is I am grateful for how they make my wife and my life easier.

Our world is a better place because of the gifts Charles Shultz provided us. Here is a piece I think I have shared before and it seems like the right time do so again.

Charles Schulz Philosophy

      The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the “Peanuts” comicstrip. You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you’ll get the point.

  1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
  2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
  3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America.

 4.Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.  

  1. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winner for best actor and actress.
  2. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

  1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
  2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
  3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
  4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
  5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. hey are the ones that care.

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.”(Charles Schulz)

~~~

If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.

Charles M. Schulz

~~~

A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditor who had come to review his records. At one point the auditor exclaimed,

“Mr. Carr, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA.  As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile.”

“Thank goodness,” returned Mr. Carr, with a giant grin on his face from ear to ear”   “I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash.”

~~~

The first line of the notice said, “Please Take Notice.” … So the guy standing next to me took it.

~~~

English has acquired the largest vocabulary of all the world’s languages, perhaps as many as two million words, and has generated one of the noblest bodies of literature in the annals of the human race. Nonetheless, it is now time to face the fact that English is a crazy language — the most loopy and wiggy of all tongues.

In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?

In what other language do people play at a recital and recite at a play?

Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?

Why is it that when we transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?

Why does a man get a hernia and a woman a hysterectomy?

Why do we pack suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?

Why do privates eat in the general mess and generals eat in the private mess?

Why do we call it newsprint when it contains no printing but when we put print on it, we call it a newspaper?

Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists?

Why — in our crazy language — can your nose run and your feet smell?

~~~

My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that’s what she said.

~~~

A wild-eyed man dressed in a Napoleonic costume and hiding his right hand inside his coat entered the psychiatrist’s office and nervously exclaimed, “Doctor, I need your help right away.”

“I can see that,” retorted the doctor. “Lie down on that couch and tell me your problem.”

“I don’t have any problem,” the man snapped. “In fact, as Emperor of France I have everything I could possibly want: money, women, power — everything! But I’m afraid my wife, Josephine, is in deep mental trouble.”

“I see,” said the psychiatrist, humoring his distraught patient. “And what seems to be her main problem?”

“For some strange reason,” answered the unhappy man, “she thinks she’s Mrs. Smith.”

~~~

If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN.

~~~

Passing an office building late one night, a blonde saw a sign that said, “Press bell for night watchman.”

She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs.

The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.

“Well,” he snarled at the blonde, “what do you want?”

“I just wanted to know why you can’t ring it for yourself.”

~~~

I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it.

Charles M. Schulz

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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