Ray’s Daily
December 13, 2018
“We’re not getting older – we’re getting better!”
I was chatting with a gal I know the other day who was bemoaning the fact that she was 64 and so her life was pretty much over. Having new friends more than 30 years older than she is I suggested that her life was only over if she chose it to be that way.
These days I meet many folks in their later years that exude optimism and happiness. True age is relative, my young 64 year old friend has decided she is over the hill while I know youthful 90 year old’s who are still climbing the hill. In truth you are only as old as you think you are so why not come out and play.
More Than A Number
Julie Hebert
Old age is indicated,
In many different ways.
Some good and some bad,
All look back on great days.
Old age may come with some grief,
Of wrinkles, grey hair and fat.
It can’t compare to what we get in return,
A life filled of everything we had.
With age comes wisdom,
And wisdom comes opportunity.
With life comes family,
And family brings unity.
Unity above all,
Makes life worth,
Every year we have,
Here on earth.
So what if aging comes with,
More than a number.
Wrinkles are nothing,
If loves with each slumber.
For every year,
I place on my life,
Means more wisdom and love,
I’ve had in my life!
~~~
“To me, old age is fifteen years older than I am.”
Bernard M. Baruch
~~~
While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students. “As you can see,” she says, “the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched. Michael, what would you do in a case like this?”
“Well,” ponders the student, “I suppose I’d limp too.”
~~~
When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.
~~~
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.
Calling out to the patient, the man says, “Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?”
The patient calls back, “One moment!” and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter’s level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.
With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.
Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, “It is now precisely 3:29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I believe it is.”
The man can’t help but be impressed by this demonstration, and sets his watch accordingly.
Before he leaves, he says to the patient, “That was really quite remarkable, but tell me, what do you do on a cloudy day, or at night, when the stick casts no shadow?” The patient holds up his wrist and says, “I suppose I’d just look at my watch.”
~~~
Men always want to be a woman’s first love.
Women have a more subtle instinct: They want to be a man’s last romance.
~~~
When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous thing I see is a sign that reads:
“If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER.”
So I call and say, “I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?”
~~~
There should be a better reward for promptness than having to wait for everyone else.
~~~
“You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair.”
Samuel Ullman
~~~
Ray Mitchell
Indianapolis, Indiana
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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