Ray's Daily

Ray’s Daily

November 14, 2018

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Kahlil Gibran

Between my mandatory tasks and Physical Therapy sessions I ran out of time. So we again will see what the world looked like to me years ago.

Ray’s Daily first published on November 14, 2008

 It has not been an easy week. It is not so much that I have been busy or that 40% of my life savings seems to be hidden somewhere on Wall Street. No it is the fact that I lost an old friend and a good friends wife passed away after a long illness.

My one friend died peacefully in his sleep. While he was in his mid seventies I no longer consider that old age so when it happened I was taken aback. When I read my friends obituary today I learned that he had done many more things than I knew he had. I hadn’t seen him for sometime but he use to be a fellow member of my Kiwanis Club and I had plenty of opportunity to get to know him better but now it is too late. I am sure he had many stories he could have shared and experiences that I would have enjoyed hearing about. I know a year ago or so I wrote about how much we miss by not stopping and taking the time to know more about the people we meet, especially those that we see often. Unfortunately too often I am guilty of taking too many people for granted and gloss over my failure by rationalizing not learning more because I am too busy. That is a sad mistake for I know that some of the best things in my life is the bond that I have built with others by just stopping and caring.

My friend’s wife suffered a long illness before finally finding peace. She was a gracious lady always quick to smile whenever we met. She told me once in a while that she enjoyed our Daily and that always pleased me for it was written for her and my other friends. What saddens me most is that this kind and caring person had to carry so much pain and agony for so long. I have never been very good at sharing my feelings with those that have just lost a loved one; certainly it would be presumptuous of me to tell them I know how they feel. Still I always feel a hurt and a feeling of helplessness when I know some one is in pain or that someone is gone forever leaving only memories and far too often words I never said that were never heard.

~~~

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.

~~~

I think both of these departed friends would be disappointed in me if I did not add our usual attempt at humor so for them I offer today’s daily.

~~~

“The greatest mistake you can make is to be afraid of making one.”

Elbert Hubbard

~~~

A few housewives were sitting around the table talking, and the subject turned to their husbands. One lady said “My husband just won’t go to church with me, I think he’s going to go to hell.” This led to talk around the table and it was generally agreed that, for one reason or another, all the husbands were going to end up in hell.

So, then the housewives started speculating about themselves. One woman said “I try to be good – I’m sure I’ll make it to Heaven.” Another one said “No, I did this bad thing, I won’t make it.” So, then they noticed that one of the ladies wasn’t saying anything. And they looked at her and said “You’re such a nice lady, surely you’re going to Heaven…?”

She says “No, first thing in the morning, I’m going to buy me a ticket straight to hell!” They were shocked and asked why. “Well, you don’t expect me to live in a world without men, do you??!?”

~~~

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!

~~~

A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.

The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, “Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don’t think it’s fair – there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did *I* get the ticket?”

“Ever go fishing?” the policeman suddenly asked the man.

“Ummm, yeah…” the startled man replied.

The officer grinned and added, “Ever catch *all* the fish?”

~~~

A woman was telling her friend, “It is I who made my husband a millionaire.” “And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend. The woman replied, “A billionaire.”

~~~

When a three-year-old opened a birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol.

He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.

His Mother was not so pleased. She turned to Grandmom and said, “I’m surprised at you.

Don’t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?”

Grandmom smiled and then replied, “I remember.”

~~~

Eschew obfuscation.

~~~

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.

Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

“Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath. “You scared us half to death — we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?”

“Those fools!” the old man grumbled. “They misspelled my name!”

~~~

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools

~~~

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose.

The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call.

Before long their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, ‘OK, lets get out and get him.’

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, ‘The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?’

The guy in the front says, ‘Well, I’m going to start nibbling grass, but you’d better brace yourself!’

~~~

A lady inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Husband wanted”. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

~~~

To help a friend lose weight, I told her she should switch to lower fat foods, including skim milk.

When she said her family would drink only whole milk, I suggested that she keep their regular container and refill it with skim milk. This worked for quite awhile, until her daughter asked one morning whether the milk was okay.

“Sure, it’s fine,” my friend answered, fearing she had been found out. “Why do you ask?”

The daughter explained, “Well, according to the expiration date, this milk expired six months ago!”

~~~

There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.

Author Unknown

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

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