Ray's musings and humor

Ray’s Daily

October 10, 2018

https://rays-daily.com/

What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.

Ralph Marston

Do well

Yesterday wore me out, I had an early morning Doctor’s appointment and a long physical therapy session were I learned just how out of shape I really am. My muscles are reminding me this morning that I have to work to do to restore my health.

The good news is that I can rest today and enjoy lunch with one of my favorite friends. She is an educator, author, former CEO ae well as a highly regarded philanthropist. Her and her husband continue to good works focused on children.

As I looked forward to my lunch I remembered the following list I picked up years ago, It describes behaviors similar to those of my friend,

Thoughts for The Day

  • Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
  • A sharp tongue can cut your own throat.
  • If you want your dreams to come true, you mustn’t oversleep.
  • Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
  • The best vitamin for making friends….. B1!
  • The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
  • The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge.
  • One thing you can give and still keep…is your word.
  • You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself
  • If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished.
  • One thing you can’t recycle is wasted time.
  • Ideas won’t work unless ‘You’ do.
  • Your mind is like a parachute…it functions only when open.
  • The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice.
  • The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime!
  • It is never too late to become what you might have been.

~~~

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.

Helen Keller

~~~

One of those physical fitness club franchises was preparing to enter the international market.  They placed ads in newspapers all over the county for people who could represent them on a tour.  The ad said:

We’re looking for five men in peak physical condition.  Must be able to speak Spanish, French, Chinese, or Japanese.  Must be knowledgeable about weights, aerobics, and at least two major sports. The day after the ad appeared, a heavy man of about 70 appeared in the offices of the fitness club.  “I’m here about the ad,” he said.

The bronzed Adonis behind the desk looked surprised, but decided to be polite.  “Do you speak Spanish or French?” he asked.

“Nope,” the old man said.

“Chinese? Japanese?”

“No, both times.”

“Know anything about weights or aerobic exercises?”

“Only that I wouldn’t be caught dead with either one.”

“How about sports?”

“I’ve never played anything more taxing than checkers.”

“I see,” the young man said.  “Tell me something.  Why did you come here?”

“To tell you to count me out.”

~~~

An eternity is very, very long, especially towards the end.

~~~

A nervous taxpayer watches with growing unhappiness as an IRS tax auditor goes over his records, making notations on a legal pad. Finally, the auditor finishes his work. He turns to the taxpayer and says, “We feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the United States. As a citizen, you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile.”

“Thank goodness,” the man says, a grin spreading from ear to ear. “I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash!”

~~~

Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.

Mary Kelly

~~~

A couples happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seventeen long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Finally, the old girl died.On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confessed to his wife, “Darling, if I didn’t love you so much, I don’t think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years.”

His wife looked at him aghast. “My Aunt Emma!” she cried. “I thought she was ‘your’ Aunt Emma!”

~~~

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

Mark Twain

~~~

An older couple went on a cruise for their anniversary. Their conversation with the other couples they met tended towards political and international events.

At one point, the husband asked, “Honey, what do you think about the Middle East position?”

She replied, “Oh, I don’t know, dear, you know I’m not into any of that kinky stuff.”

~~~

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.

William James

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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