Ray's musings and humor

Archive for September, 2018

Ray’s Daily is shutting down for a while


Ray’s Daily

September 10, 2018


Ray is suspending the Daily temporarily

We are in the final stages of the preparation for our move to our new home at the end of this week. While my family has done most of the work my wife and me are still worn out. They will be deinstalling all my computer gear and hope to have it running in our apartment by next weekend. When everything is in place I will resume the Daily. In the meantime have fun and stay healthy.


I need to dip into the archives and send another Daily from the past

Ray’s Daily first published on September 10, 2008

 Pleasure is the flower that passes; remembrance, the lasting perfume.

Jean de Boufflers

Ray Toon

I have noticed lately when I open my memory album in one of my dreams that some of the people’s pictures have started to fade and others have turned to no more than grey silhouettes. As I believe I mentioned in the past I have been fortunate to have had a life filled with wonderful heroes, friends and acquaintances. They all are preserved in memory each standing still in time at the age we last met. Their images bring up remembrances of shared experiences, good times, and overcame adversity.

Lately I have noticed that those from the distant past don’t stand out as vividly as they once did. Many are no longer with us, more passing each year while others have moved on and we have lost touch. Yet in spite of this my memory album continues to be filled with bright new additions. I now realize that one of the reasons that my life gets better each year is that I am always meeting new people, many who have become friends while others are acquaintances but all enrich my life. And I really appreciate how many of you have added luster through the friendships you have offered.

As I have mentioned in the past much of my time is spent with people who have decided to move to a new phase in their lives that will give them the opportunity to have full and happy time during the years they have left. They often ask me why I am willing to spend so much time with them when there is nothing in it for me. I do the best I can to let them know there is plenty in it for me; I have a new bright memory to add to my scrapbook, one more person has a better shot at life and often they will include helping others through volunteerism in their new life plan.

It seems to me we all have a choice as we age, we can live in the past revisiting the memories we have saved or we can take advantage of every opportunity to add to them. In my experience lonesomeness is more a personal choice than forced isolation.

Here is something Ralph Marston wrote that can make all our lives even better.

Today will soon be over. Yet the value you create while it is still here will be with you for a long time to come.

Today, there are hurts that you can heal. Today, there are disagreements that you can transform into understanding.

Today, there are challenges and problems that can, through your efforts, become positive achievements. Today, there are weaknesses that can, through your attention and persistence, become strengths.

Today, there are visions that can be forged into reality. Today, there are small moments that can become treasured memories.

Today, there are joys that can be brought to life. Today, there is love that can grow ever stronger.

Today is a day that is filled with possibilities. See how many of the best of them you can bring to life.


To live in hearts we leave behind Is not to die.

Thomas Campbell


A grandma and grandpa were busy telling their little granddaughter what their own childhood was like: “I used to ice skate outside on a pond during the winter,” Grandpa said.

“I had a swing made from a tire,” Grandma added. “It hung from a tree in our front yard.”

“I rode our pony bareback,” Grandpa said.

“My brothers and sisters and I used to pick wild raspberries in in the woods,” Grandma said.  “We would eat them right off the bush, staining our mouth and fingers in the process.”

The little granddaughter was wide-eyed, taking all this in.  At last she said, “Wow…..I sure wish I’d gotten to know you two sooner!”


“A healthy attitude is contagious but don’t wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.”


Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:

Here lies the body

of Jonathan Blake

Stepped on the gas

Instead of the brake.


Little Johnny and Little Mary were talking one day. Little Mary asked “what is the highest number you have ever counted up?” “I counted up to 1,279 once” Johnny answered. “WoW!

Really? Why did you stop at 1,279?”

Mary asked. “Because church was over.”


Skier: Someone who pays an arm and a leg to break them.


A devoutly Christian couple felt it important to own an equally Christian pet. So, after careful inquiry, they went shopping at a kennel specializing in Christian dogs.  They found a dog they liked quite a lot.  When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash.  When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied eagerly, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed; they immediately purchased the animal, and went home (piously  of course).

That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new Christian dog and his religious skills, they called the dog and began showing him off.  The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn’t thought about “normal” tricks.

“Well,” they said, “let’s find out.”Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, “Heel!”  Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the guest’s forehead, closed his eyes, and began to pray.


Clock: A small mechanical device to wake up people without children.


On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:

“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.

Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.”

He continued,  “Anybody caught breaking this rule a second time will be fined $60.  Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180.  Are there any questions?”

At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired, “How   much for a season pass?”


“Be forever a student. He and he alone is an old man who feels that he has learnt enough and has need for no more knowledge.”



Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.



Our New Life

Ray’s Daily

September 7, 2018


Since there is nothing so well worth having as friends, never lose a chance to make them.

Francesco Guicciardini


While my wife and me will bot move into our new apartment if the senior living facility we have been eating some of out meals there. We have enjoyed our meals and have sat with a number of our fellow tenants. We find that dressing up a bit and conversing with others to be a pleasant experience. We have also relearned that the secret to the comradery that develops from new friendships is to be less judgmental and more accepting of our differences.

As always, the way to make new friends is to be likable. Following Browns tips below will go a long way yo help us become the person others would like to befriend,

Instructions For Life

  1. Jackson Brown
  2. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2.Never laugh at anyone’s dreams.

3.Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.

4.When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

5.Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.

6.Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

7.Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

8.In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.

  1. Remember that your character is your destiny.

10.When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

11.Spend some time alone every day.

12.Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.

13.Pray. There’s immeasurable power in it.

  1. At least once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
  2. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.

16.Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

17.Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

  1. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.


Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day.

Dalai Lama


Odd Signs From England

IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs

IN AN OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

ON A CHURCH DOOR:: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)

OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.

QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.

NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER’S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.

IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.

SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car

SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a day care on the first floor.

NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.

MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.


Every time I get the urge to exercise, I lie down till the feeling passes.


A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.

“Now, class, closely observe the worms,” said the professor while putting a worm into the water.

The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. He then put the second worm into the whiskey. It curled up and writhed about painfully, then quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

“Now, what lesson can we learn from this experiment?” the professor asked.

Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded confidently, “Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms.”


By the time you find greener pastures, you can’t climb the fence!


A telephone repairman was working late in a big office building and became lost. After a long search of the rambling first floor to find an exit, the spotted a woman at the end of a corridor.

“How do I get outside?” he asked.

“Dial 9,” she replied.


Mom, I’ll always love you, but I’ll never forgive you for cleaning my face with spit on a hanky.


The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited.  He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records, then sat for what seemed like hours as the auditor scrutinized their every detail.

Finally the IRS agent looked up and commented, “You must have been a tremendous fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.”

“Why would you say that?” wondered the broker.

“Because you’ve made more brilliant deductions on your last three returns than Sherlock Holmes made in his entire career.”


Pollution is getting so bad, magicians complain there’s no more thin air to make people disappear into.


Each day holds a surprise. But only if we expect it can we see, hear, or feel it when it comes to us. Let’s not be afraid to receive each day’s surprise, whether it comes to us as sorrow or as joy It will open a new place in our hearts, a place where we can welcome new friends and celebrate more fully our shared humanity.

Henri Nouwen


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


I am still concerned

Ray’s Daily

September 6, 2018


Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.

Leo Buscaglia


I spent the day at the hospital yesterday so I am behind doing things that need to get done so here we go again, a Daily from yesteryear. Does what I wrote sixteen years ago sound a lot like what we face today?

Ray’s Daily first published on September 6, 2002

I just heard that prescription and medical costs rose by double digits last year. I am not sure what this means to me, probably increased supplemental insurance costs.

Speaking of what does it all mean?

The President is saying we can invade Iraq with no great problems. My Senator, Dick Lugar, the respected Republican ranking member on the Senate Foreign Affairs committee has expressed his concern. Can we really go it alone? Are we really at risk? Why does most of the military think that an easy invasion is unrealistic? Is it true that that after the government is overthrown we will have to keep troops in the country for decades to come? Will my grandchildren face a draft? Is the war going to be as costly in lives and money as predicted? If the war spills over to include Israel and the Arab states will we still have access to needed oil? I don’t know the answers, but the Vice-president and others are telling me not to worry, everything will turn out alright.

We have had a huge tax cut and are again running big federal deficits. How much of our taxes in the future will be required to cover the interest on a big deficit being paid at higher interest rates than today? Will the impending war, an outlandish huge farm bill, and an aging population result in even greater deficits? Will my children and grandchildren be able to pay for my generation’s lack of fiscal responsibility? I don’t know the answers, but our President is telling me not to worry, things will take care of themselves and be better later.

I am told that growing unemployment is not a problem, that my diminished retirement nest-egg is a temporary condition, that the low interest on my savings accounts is only temporary, and that I should not worry, things will take care of themselves.

I know none of these things can be a big problem since the President is gone from Washington almost every day attending fundraisers. Anyway, I am glad that I don’t have to worry. But is it OK for me to be really concerned?


A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.


A man who’s known in his small town as a carouser stops his minister on the street one day. “Say, reverend,” says the dissolute fellow, “can you tell me what the cause of gout is?”

The minister sees the question as a good opportunity to teach the man a lesson.

“Gout is caused by the intemperate consumption of alcoholic beverages, by gluttony, and by even worse transgressions that I won’t even speak of,” the minister says. “But I will tell you that it is visited upon those who have departed from the way of the Lord and now follow the tortured path of the most abominable sin.”

The minister pauses, then asks, “How long have you had this gout?”

“Oh, I don’t have gout,” the man says. “I was asking because someone told me the bishop has just been diagnosed with it.”


The tombstone read, Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.  It was.


Military wisdom

“Aim towards the Enemy” – Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit.” – Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance.

Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.

If the enemy is in range, so are you.

It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

Tracers work both ways.

If your attack is going too well, you have walked into an ambush.

Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.

Don’t draw fire; it irritates the people around you.


Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?


She said:

If you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.

If you’re a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup….. I wanna be a bear.


We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

Joseph Campbell


A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.

Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying “A dollar per point.”

The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.


Abe asked, “Is my face dirty or is it just my imagination?”

Mollie answered, “Your face is clean but I don’t know about your imagination.”


Grandma Levy, always a regular synagogue member, had finally talked her cousin, a woman who had lived a riotous, free life into joining the Temple. “Tell me Rabbi,” the old lady asked, “Do you feel that my cousin will have her sins forgiven after all those years?”

“Yes I do. I’m positive of it. You must remember that the greater the number of sins, the greater the glory.”

“Yeah?” the old lady replied thoughtfully. “Gee Rabbi, I sure do wish I’d known that fifty years ago.”


Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Larry Baum


A 55 year old man who was born on May 5, has been married 5 years, has 5 children, makes $55,555.55 a year, who’s lucky number is 5 receives a phone call from a friend.

The friend informs the man that a horse named Lucky 5 will be running in the fifth race at the local track that evening. Excitedly, the man withdraws 5,555.00 cash from his bank account, goes to the races and bets on Lucky 5.

Sure enough the horse comes in fifth.


My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they’re just jealous because they don’t have pajamas with feet.

Tom Sims


“We know what we are, but know not what we may become.”

William Shakespeare


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


Yes You Can

Ray’s Daily

September 5, 2018


No one knows what he can do until he tries.

Publilius Syrus

you can do it

I think that how well we enjoy our lives depends on our resiliency and mental toughness. We all have had setbacks and disappointments as well as the need to venture into uncharted waters. I have found this to be especially true as I navigate through my “Golden Years”.

It is not that the challenges are any harder, it is that they are just different. I find that rather than spending time worrying about tomorrow that I am better off just forging ahead finding that everything works out.

Jon Gordon recently wrote an article mental toughness that makes sense to me, here is what he wrote.


  1. When you face a setback, think of it as a defining moment that will lead to a future accomplishment.
  2. When you encounter adversity, remember, the best don’t just face adversity; they embrace it, knowing it’s not a dead end but a detour to something greater and better.
  3. When you face negative people, know that the key to life is to stay positive in the face of negativity, not in the absence of it.
  4. When you face the naysayer’s, remember the people who believed in you and spoke positive words to you.
  5. When you face critics, remember to tune them out and focus only on being the best you can be.
  6. When you wake up in the morning, take a morning walk of gratitude and prayer. It will create a fertile mind ready for success.
  7. When you fear, trust. Let your faith be greater than your doubt.
  8. When you fail, find the lesson in it, and then recall a time when you have succeeded.
  9. When you head into battle, visualize success.
  10. When you are thinking about the past or worrying about the future, instead focus your energy on the present moment. The now is where your power is the greatest.
  11. When you want to complain, instead identify a solution.
  12. When your own self-doubt crowds your mind, weed it and replace it with positive thoughts and positive self-talk.
  13. When you feel distracted, focus on your breathing, observe your surroundings, clear your mind, and get into The Zone. The Zone is not a random event. It can be created.
  14. When you feel all is impossible, know that with God all things are possible.
  15. When you feel alone, think of all the people who have helped you along the way and who love and support you now.
  16. When you feel lost, pray for guidance.
  17. When you are tired and drained, remember to never, never, never give up. Finish Strong in everything you do.
  18. When you feel like you can’t do it, know that you can do all things through God who gives you strength.
  19. When you feel like your situation is beyond your control, pray and surrender. Focus on what you can control and let go of what you can’t.
  20. When you’re in a high-pressure situation and the game is on the line, and everyone is watching you, remember to smile, have fun, and enjoy it. Life is short; you only live once. You have nothing to lose. Seize the moment.


Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A world of optimism and hope. A ‘you can do it’ when things are tough.

Richard M. DeVos


My neighbor was bitten by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn’t have to worry about a will. He said, “Will? What will? I’m making a list of the people I wanna bite.”


A young mother skeptically examined a new educational toy. “Isn’t this rather complicated for a small boy?” she asked the salesclerk.

“It’s designed to adjust the tot to live in today’s world, madam,” the shop assistant replied.

“Any way he tries to put it together is wrong.”


“Put” means to place a thing where you want it. “Putt” means a vain attempt to do the same thing.


These two guys were approaching the first tee. The first guy goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says to his friend, “Hey, why don’t you try this ball?” He draws a green golf ball out of his bag. “You can’t lose it.” His friend replies, “What do you mean you can’t lose it?!” The first man replies, “I’m serious, you can’t lose it. If you hit it into the woods, it makes a beeping sound, if you hit it into the water it produces bubbles, and if you hit it on the fairway, smoke comes up in order for you to find it.”

Obviously, his friend doesn’t believe him, but he shows him all the possibilities until he is convinced. The friend says, “Wow! That’s incredible!

Where did you get that ball?!”

The man replies, “I found it.”


Gravity: Not just a good idea, it’s the law!


One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. “Dear,” said the mother diplomatically, “he doesn’t seem very nice.”   “Mom,” replied the daughter,

“if he wasn’t nice, why would he be doing 5000 hours of community service?”


Why do people say “gross negligence”? Is negligence ever attractive?


When her late husband’s will was read, a widow learned he had left the bulk of his fortune to another woman. Enraged, she rushed to change the inscription on her spouse’s tombstone.

“Sorry, lady”, said the stonecutter. “I inscribed ‘Rest in Peace’ on your orders. I can’t change it now.”

“Very well,” she said grimly. “Just add, `Until We Meet  Again.’ ”


Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.

Marie Curie


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


You Never Know

Ray’s Daily

September 4, 2018


“Life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent of how I react to it.” –

Charles Swindoll


We are ten days away from the move to our new home. As we downsize the membranella we discover bring back hundreds of memories. I again realize that no one event determines our life’s path, Some of the events that seemed bad at the time actually resulted in something positive.

In truth you really never know for sure what tomorrow will bring. The best things in life come to those who make the best of each of their days. Right now we are not sure what’s next but we look forward to whatever it is.

I think the following story is somewhat like our past has been,

Maybe It’s Not All Good or All Bad

By Ginelle Testa

A farmer has a horse for many years; it helps him earn his livelihood and raise his son. One day, the horse runs away. His neighbor says sympathetically, “Such bad luck.”

The farmer replies, “Maybe. Who knows?”

The next day, the horse makes its way back home bringing with it another horse. The neighbor says with a smile, “Such good luck.”

The farmer replies, “Maybe. Who knows?”

The following day, the farmer’s son rides the new horse and seeks to tame it. In the process, he breaks his leg. The neighbor says sympathetically, “Such bad luck.”

The farmer replies, “Maybe. Who knows?”

The last day of the story, the military comes to the village to draft all able-bodied young men to fight in a war. The son is exempt from the draft due to his broken leg. You can guess what the neighbor said, and how the farmer replied.

This Zen Buddhist parable illustrates that we never really know exactly why things are unfolding the way that they are, and that labeling them as “good” or “bad” is useless. It only gets us wrapped up in the ups and downs. Riding the car of this dichotomy only takes us on a roller coaster ride while our emotions are following whatever storyline is in front of us.


The truth is you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.



A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept talking about chickens being great creatures, and as such they had the right to go where they wanted.

The man was having no luck keeping the chickens out of his flowerbeds, and he had tried everything. Two weeks later, on a visit a friend noticed his flowerbeds were doing great. The flowers were beginning to bloom.

So the friend asked him — “How did you make your neighbor keep his hens in his own yard?”

“One night I hid half a dozen eggs under a bush by my flower bed, and the next day I let my neighbor see me gather them. I wasn’t bothered after that.”


When nothing is sure, everything is possible.

Margaret Drabble


Two friends meet in the street. The one man looked rather forlorn and down in the mouth. The other man asked, “Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved in?

The sad fellow said, “Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me ten thousand dollars.

“I’m sorry to hear about the death, but a bit of good luck for you, eh?

“Hold on, I’m just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew kicked the bucket and left me twenty thousand, free and clear.

“Well, you can’t be disappointed with that!

“Yep. But, last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost one hundred thousand dollars.

“Incredible… so how come you look so glum?”

“Well, this week…nothing!


So what’s the speed of dark?


Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?

“I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming with plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our friends.

“I don’t mean that,” the priest responded. “I mean, are you prepared spiritually?

“Oh, sure,” came the reply. “I’ve got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey.”


The trouble with life is there’s no background music.


It has been an interesting year in the Stock Market, I thought you could use this dictionary:

Momentum Investing – The fine art of buying high and selling low.

Value Investing – The art of buying low and selling lower.

Broker – Poorer than you were in 2000.

Standard & Poor – Your life in a nutshell.

Stock Analyst – Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

Bull Market – A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Stock split – When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.

Financial Planner – A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.

Market Correction – The day after you buy stocks.

Cash Flow – The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

Call Option – Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times before e-mail.

Institutional Investor – Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nut house.

Profit – Religious guy who talks to God.


Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Mark Twain


A husband reading a newspaper says to his wife, “You know, honey, I think there might be some real merit to what this article says, that the intelligence of a father often proves a stumbling block to the son.”

“Well, thank heaven,” said the wife, “at least our James has nothing standing in his way.”


Be happy with being you. Love your flaws. Own your quirks. And know that you are just as perfect as anyone else, exactly as you are.

Ariana Grande


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.




Ray’s Daily

September 3, 2018


Happiness is the best medicine.

Happy Day

Today is Labor Day, a national holiday in my country. While we have taken possession of our apartment in the Senior Living Facility we will not move in until the end of next week. It is close to where we live now so we already have had a few meals there which were very good. Today they are having a cook out for the residents that we will attend, I always like a good barbecue,

I have got rid of more than half of my clothes and still have more that I need. I am looking forward to having less. The list of things to do, address changes and the like is daunting but with the help of my oldest daughter we are starting to get things done.

Here is a reminder that I just reread, seems appropriate for my wife and me as we enter the next phase of our life together.

A Lesson in Life

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere.

If someone hurts you, betrays you , or breaks you heart, forgive them. For they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to who you open your heart to.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either.

You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it.


If you find some happiness inside yourself, you’ll start finding it in lot of other places, too.

Gladiola Montana


For Those who Reed and Right

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Let’s face! It! – English is a crazy language.


Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you.

Frank Tyger


A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London and was in a hurry. As they went by the Tower of London the cabbie explained what it was and that construction of it started in 1346 and was completed in 1412.

The Texan replied, “Shoot, a little ol’ tower like that? In Houston we’d have that thing up in two weeks!”

Next they passed the House of Parliament – started in 1544 and completed in 1618.

“Well, boy, we put up a bigger one than that in Dallas and it only took a year!”

As they passed Westminister Abbey the cabbie was silent.

“Whoah! What’s that over there?” asked the Texan.

Replies the cabbie, scratching his head. . . .”Now that, I don’t know; it sure wasn’t there yesterday!”


I don’t have a big ego, I’m way too cool for that.


A guy was driving down a road and he ran out of gas. He went to the nearest house to ask for help. As soon as the owner opened the door, it started to pour, so the guy asked to stay overnight. The owner said, “OK, but if you see a monster in the garage, whatever you do, don’t touch it.” The man went up to the guestroom, but he was too curious. He went down to the garage and saw the huge ugly monster. He decided to see what it would do if he threw a rock at it or made faces. He did both but nothing happened.

So the man went and touched the monster. Up the monster jumped and chased the man all over the country. When the man got to a cliff, he thought he was going to die, so he rolled up in a tiny ball. When the monster arrived, he touched the man and said, “You’re it!”


The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.

William Arthur Ward


Johnny was late coming home from his Cub Scout den meeting. His mother was worried about his tardiness and vastly relieved when he arrived. “Johnny!” she yelled at him, “how come you are so late getting home?”

“Couldn’t help it, Ma. We were helping a little old lady across the street.” “How nice. But that shouldn’t have delayed you this late!”

“Well, Ma, it’s like this. She didn’t much want to go.”


A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.


A tourist from the city was visiting a quaint country village, and got talking to an old man in the local pub. “And have you lived here all your life, sir?” asked the tourist.

And the old man, with a wise look, said, “Not yet.”


The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does.

James M. Barrie


Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.


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