Ray's musings and humor

Fun Day

Ray’s Daily

September 27, 2018

https://rays-daily.com/

“Life is but a moment in the realm of all eternity, so have a little fun every day.”

Van Orden

Have Funjpg

Yesterday I turned in my driver’s license because of my failing eyesight, so no more driving for me but also no more car to worry about or pay for. The only problem was that the temporary identification the State provided me with had a picture of an old guy on it, I wish they would thave used my picture since I sure don’t think I look that old.

One of the mysteries that haunts me these days is why since I have little must I don’t have enough time to do all I would like to do.

I think part of the problem is while I take a fifteen-minute nap the clock moves ahead an hour or more. I think I’ll see if these tips help.

How to Stay Young

Author Unknown

  1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay ‘them’
  2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
  3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’
  4. Enjoy the simple things.
  5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
  6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
  7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
  8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
  9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
  10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER…

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by  the moments that take our breath away.

~~~

Here is a test to find out whether your mission in life is complete. If you’re alive, it isn’t.

Richard Bach

~~~

“Why the big smile?” Bill asked his buddy, Jim.

“My wife just ran off with my best friend.” Jim replied.

“Do I know him?” Bill inquired.

“No.” Jim replied. “And neither do I!”

~~~

“Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.”

William Feather

~~~

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “Honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”

Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

~~~

Marge was telling her friend Grace how she gets her son out of bed in the morning.

“I just open his door and toss the cat on his bed. He sleeps with his dog.”

~~~

In Cork County Ireland, a bum came up to old Hogan and asked for a handout.  Hogan replied, “Ye’ll only waste the money, you will.”

“No,” replied the bum, “I need it for food.  I don’t drink, I don’t smoke and I sure don’t gamble.”

“Aye,” Hogan replied, “in that case, if you’ll be comin’ back to my house, I’ll give you a whole pound.”

The bum was agreeable, and in a few minutes they were at the door of Hogan’s house.  Mrs. Hogan opened the door, took a look at the pair of them and said, “Aye!  And what would this be about then?”

Hogan said to his wife, “I just wanted to show you somebody who doesn’t smoke, drink, or gamble!”

~~~

She said, every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom’s wise words: “Don’t pick that up. You don’t know where it’s been.

~~~

A comely redhead was thrilled to have obtained a divorce and dazzled by the skill and virtuosity of her lawyer, not to mention his healthy income and good looks. In fact, she realized, she had fallen head over heels in love with him, even though he was a married man.

“Oh, sweetie,” she sobbed at the conclusion of the trial, “isn’t there some way we can be together, the way we were meant to be?”

Taking her by the shoulders, the lawyer proceeded to scold her for her lack of discretion and good judgment. “Snatched drinks in grimy bars on the edge of town, lying on the phone, hurried meetings in sordid motels rooms – is that really what you want for us?”

“No…no…” she sobbed, heartsick.

“Oh,” said the lawyer. “Well, it was just a suggestion.”

~~~

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Howard Thurman

~~~

Ray Mitchell

Indianapolis, Indiana

Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.

Ray’s Daily has been sent for more than fifteen years to people who want to start their day on an upbeat. If you have system overload because of our daily clutter, let me know and I will send you the information via mental telepathy. If you have not been getting our daily you can request to be added by e-mailing me at raykiwsp@gmail.com. Back issues are posted at http://rays-daily,com/ currently there are more than 2000 readers from around the world.

 

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