September 6, 2018
Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.
I spent the day at the hospital yesterday so I am behind doing things that need to get done so here we go again, a Daily from yesteryear. Does what I wrote sixteen years ago sound a lot like what we face today?
Ray’s Daily first published on September 6, 2002
I just heard that prescription and medical costs rose by double digits last year. I am not sure what this means to me, probably increased supplemental insurance costs.
Speaking of what does it all mean?
The President is saying we can invade Iraq with no great problems. My Senator, Dick Lugar, the respected Republican ranking member on the Senate Foreign Affairs committee has expressed his concern. Can we really go it alone? Are we really at risk? Why does most of the military think that an easy invasion is unrealistic? Is it true that that after the government is overthrown we will have to keep troops in the country for decades to come? Will my grandchildren face a draft? Is the war going to be as costly in lives and money as predicted? If the war spills over to include Israel and the Arab states will we still have access to needed oil? I don’t know the answers, but the Vice-president and others are telling me not to worry, everything will turn out alright.
We have had a huge tax cut and are again running big federal deficits. How much of our taxes in the future will be required to cover the interest on a big deficit being paid at higher interest rates than today? Will the impending war, an outlandish huge farm bill, and an aging population result in even greater deficits? Will my children and grandchildren be able to pay for my generation’s lack of fiscal responsibility? I don’t know the answers, but our President is telling me not to worry, things will take care of themselves and be better later.
I am told that growing unemployment is not a problem, that my diminished retirement nest-egg is a temporary condition, that the low interest on my savings accounts is only temporary, and that I should not worry, things will take care of themselves.
I know none of these things can be a big problem since the President is gone from Washington almost every day attending fundraisers. Anyway, I am glad that I don’t have to worry. But is it OK for me to be really concerned?
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
A man who’s known in his small town as a carouser stops his minister on the street one day. “Say, reverend,” says the dissolute fellow, “can you tell me what the cause of gout is?”
The minister sees the question as a good opportunity to teach the man a lesson.
“Gout is caused by the intemperate consumption of alcoholic beverages, by gluttony, and by even worse transgressions that I won’t even speak of,” the minister says. “But I will tell you that it is visited upon those who have departed from the way of the Lord and now follow the tortured path of the most abominable sin.”
The minister pauses, then asks, “How long have you had this gout?”
“Oh, I don’t have gout,” the man says. “I was asking because someone told me the bishop has just been diagnosed with it.”
The tombstone read, Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.
“Aim towards the Enemy” – Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit.” – Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance.
Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.
If the enemy is in range, so are you.
It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
Tracers work both ways.
If your attack is going too well, you have walked into an ambush.
Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
Don’t draw fire; it irritates the people around you.
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
If you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.
If you’re a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.
If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.
If you’re a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
Yup….. I wanna be a bear.
We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying “A dollar per point.”
The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.
Abe asked, “Is my face dirty or is it just my imagination?”
Mollie answered, “Your face is clean but I don’t know about your imagination.”
Grandma Levy, always a regular synagogue member, had finally talked her cousin, a woman who had lived a riotous, free life into joining the Temple. “Tell me Rabbi,” the old lady asked, “Do you feel that my cousin will have her sins forgiven after all those years?”
“Yes I do. I’m positive of it. You must remember that the greater the number of sins, the greater the glory.”
“Yeah?” the old lady replied thoughtfully. “Gee Rabbi, I sure do wish I’d known that fifty years ago.”
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
A 55 year old man who was born on May 5, has been married 5 years, has 5 children, makes $55,555.55 a year, who’s lucky number is 5 receives a phone call from a friend.
The friend informs the man that a horse named Lucky 5 will be running in the fifth race at the local track that evening. Excitedly, the man withdraws 5,555.00 cash from his bank account, goes to the races and bets on Lucky 5.
Sure enough the horse comes in fifth.
My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they’re just jealous because they don’t have pajamas with feet.
“We know what we are, but know not what we may become.”
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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