July 9, 2018
Happiness depends upon ourselves.
Aristotle
This weekend my kids arraigned for an inspector to check out our house. In the process my daughter removed things we had stored in our attic. Some we forgot we had, some reeked with memories of days past. Of course, none are required in our downsized life.
I am learning there is little value in holding on to what we don’t need. In fact, we probably will benefit with less clutter in our lives. Our marriage is not based on what we have accumulated but on our need for each other. I am confident that if we look forward without trying to hold on to the past we will enjoy what’s ahead.
Here are some tips I picked up recently on how we can increase happiness.
Happiness Tips Therapists Want You to Know
Hallie Gould
Set healthy boundaries. -“Set healthy boundaries and eliminate negative people from your life,” says Hafeez. “This one is a tough one because some of the people closest to you can be the most negative. But take this opportunity to evaluate your life and the people in it—determine what kind of access they get. Say, for example, your mother is hypercritical or you have a controlling friend involved in your every decision. Suggest you communicate just twice weekly to connect and share your big wins. Old friends who aren’t committed to growth will hold you back. Self-care means making decisions that serve you best.”
Learn to say no without explanation. – “You can thank people for thinking of you or simply say no thank you. The end,” says Hafeez. “You are not obligated to do things you don’t enjoy or feel comfortable taking part in, no explanation necessary.
Practice making swift decisions. – “When you go to a restaurant, does it take you a long time to figure out what you want? When you go shopping, do you find it impossible to choose what you want? Overcome this by getting into the habit of allowing yourself 10 seconds to decide,” suggests Hafeez. “You will begin to see that a reluctance to make decisions is connected to a fear of failure or perfectionism which keeps us small and disempowered.”
Take full responsibility. – “You can’t control others. You can control yourself. If you release your need for external conditions to dictate your happiness, you will control less and feel happier,” says Hafeez. Appreciate three things about your life currently.
“It’s helpful to find time to appreciate three things about your life, as it is currently, every single day,” notes Hafeez. “If you are able to wake up, breathe, and feel the sun on your face, there are three things right there. Appreciation is the fuel for happiness.”
Take pleasure in doing absolutely nothing. -“We live in a society where we chase money, love, and approval,” notes Hafeez. “Take yourself off the grid and relax with a good book or soothing music with zero guilt.”
Smile. – It sounds obvious, but Shore says the act of smiling can trick your mind into feeling happier. “Smiling looks good on anyone, and your body releases endorphins simply by smiling,” she says. To make sure you reach your daily smile quota, Shore recommends finding a laughter yoga club in your city. “They are usually free or just a few dollars; it’s cheap therapy,” she says. “In this political climate, the need to smile is more urgent than ever before.”
~~~
When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
Helen Keller
~~~
Eager to make her mark in the world of business, the attractive new MBA took a job as executive assistant to the middle aged owner of a fast-growing computer software company.
She found the work challenging and the travel interesting, but was extremely annoyed by her boss’s tendency to treat her in public as though she were his girlfriend rather than a professional associate.
This was especially irritating in restaurants, where he would insist on ordering for her, and on calling her “dearest” or “darling” within earshot of the waiters. When she told him how much it bothered her, he promised to stop, but the patronizing behavior continued.
Finally, as he led her into a four-star restaurant, she took matters into her own hands.
“Where would you like to sit, sweetheart?” he asked, with a wink at the maitre’d.
“Gee,” she replied, “anywhere you say, Dad.”
~~~
Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.
Ogden Nash
~~~
She said: During my training as a medical-group receptionist, I was told never to recommend one of our doctors over another, but simply state who had available appointments. One day a woman came in and looked at me conspiratorially. “I’m a nurse,” she whispered, “and I know the staff always knows which doctors are good and which aren’t. Who do you think I should see?” Knowing my supervisor was listening close by, I tried to sound most professional. “Oh, I’m sorry,” I replied. “I can’t recommend any of our doctors.” “Well, you must know!” she said, heading for the door.
~~~
Is it my imagination…or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
~~~
A few women were sitting around the table talking, and the subject turned to their husbands. One lady said “My husband just won’t go to church with me, I think he’s going to go to Hell.”
This led to talk around the table and it was generally agreed that, for one reason or another, all the husbands were going to end up in Hell.
So, then the housewives started speculating about themselves. One woman said “I try to be good – I’m sure I’ll make it to Heaven.”
Another one said, “No, I did this bad thing. I won’t make it unless I mend my ways and I better start soon.”
At this point they noticed that one of the ladies (the only single women in the group, and a blonde mind you) wasn’t saying anything. They turned to her and said “You’re such a nice lady, surely you’ll be going to Heaven?”
She says “No way! In fact, first thing in the morning, I’m going to buy me a ticket straight to Hell!”
They were shocked and asked, “Why??”
“Well, you don’t expect me to live in a world without men, do you?”
~~~
“I feel so strongly about toilet graffiti, I signed a partition.”
~~~
I was meeting a friend in a bar, and as I went in I noticed two pretty girls looking at me.
“Nine,” I heard one whisper as I passed.
Feeling pleased with myself, I swaggered over to my buddy and told him a girl had just rated me a nine out of ten.
“I don’t want to ruin it for you,” he said, “but when I walked in, they were speaking German.”
~~~
In our lives, change is unavoidable, loss is unavoidable. In the adaptability and ease with which we experience change, lies our happiness and freedom.
Buddha
~~~
Ray Mitchell
Indianapolis, Indiana
Management is not responsible for duplicates from previous dailies. The editor is somewhat senile.
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